Would you rather live in a nice, normal house or a big, expensive one?

[BoogleMcGroogle]

We are currently deciding whether to 'upgrade'. Our house is fine, it makes me happy being there, we have a tiny mortgage and can afford to save well, travel with the kids and generally do nice things. Our house will never be Country Living magazine, but it's sunny, spacious and feels like home. We can ( after years of dreaming) finally afford the smart, Farrow and Balled period doodah, and now ( having found one that's perfect on paper) I'm having a wobble. I'm now not sure it's worth sacrificing the financial freedom for a couple of character fireplaces and some big, potentially problematic trees. Any thoughts?

Kind of in your position but I don't think I like my house as much as you do! We've got a house that's big enough for our needs- ie everyone has a bedroom, it's in an okay area, the downstairs is a bit small and he garden is terraced which I hate but I love the kitchen. We have affordable mortgage payments which allows for saving and some treats. I am aching for a bit more space though- would love more space to host a decent number and have a more open plan feel. We've decided that we would like to prioritise a bigger house in a better (read flatter!) area although we know this will mean a readjustment in our spending elsewhere in the future.

The thing is you've got to love it. And you clearly don't.

We did it, we live in a old listed building with a large garden.

Is it a money pit, oh yes, is it expensive to heat, indeed, is it a lot of work, incredibly so. But we love it. So it's a labour of love. Every day I wake up and feel happy and lucky to live here.

We didn't financially crucify ourselves though and can still afford to live as we did. But make no mistake in terms of the work involved.

And that's the thing with houses. You just know. And if you're thinking of taking on an old property, and you're not in love with it, then don't do it, because you will just resent it.

So don't move unless you do find somewhere you love.

Definitely doesn't sound worth it for you. You sound pretty happy as you are and more excited by spending money on travel than maintaining a big old house. There is an awful lot to be said for financial peace of mind. You describe your house as perfect for a family, the other as perfect for an episode of ghosts. Well that speaks volumes - you are a family, not ghosts!

What is really motivating you here? Do you feel like you should have the fancy house, just because you can? It's not an obligation, and nobody is going to think you are a better or worse person either way.

It sounds like a middle ground might be ideal, but I know it can be hard to find.

Everyone has to find their own sweet spot for their own circumstances and preferences. I'm lucky enough to have found mine, which is a 2500-3000 character property with nearly half acre of garden in a great village, but not crazy old and rambling. I've always loved looking a big old amazing houses, but have definitely reached the point now where we have enough. We did some extending and rearranging of this house recently so it is spot on for us, and I have realised how much work taking on a big project would be. I'd rather spend the time fine tuning this one with nice decor and furniture etc. than start again with something else. We could probably afford another step up now without killing ourselves as I've inherited some money, but I've lost interest.

I really don't think this is it for you from the sound of it. You're mostly making a case against. If you were going to give the case for, then what would it be? Not in terms of a pure description of the house, but how it would actually make you all happy.

Noooo, you sound so happy and settled in your current home and as though you really love it. I reckon the getting worried feeling about the big house is your instincts kicking in. With the world somewhat going to shit I'd want minimum mortgage, maximum freedom and financial security.

My parents moved us from an inner city terrrace house to a detached house in the suburbs when I was about 10.

I really didn't like living there. Nothing ever happened. It was quiet and lonely and had no soul.

Now we've left home my parents have moved back to the same street we used to live on and I also live close by in a similar house.

Bigger isn't always better.

The nice, normal house definitely. Having the spare money to travel, eat out and getting the mortgage paid off early would all make me happier than the massive house.

Our friends stretched themselves to get a huge 5 bed house they don't need and are now struggling each month to pay bills and will be stuck working until 70. No chance of them retiring early now which I think they regret.

I have a big house and huge garden. It's a full time job keeping it all up. I love it but if I did work I'd be hiring someone full time to clean it and do the garden.

Completely agree with sheettent - I work and we look after most of the upkeep and maintenance ourselves. It can be hard work and you have to shelve plans to do certain jobs because of the weather, etc. I've lowered my standards re: cleaning and always damp dust when I do it as it's more effective.

I live in a medium sized four bedroomed house.( three dcs) DH has always fancied iliving in one of those large rambling houses.
I have vetoed his idea because I like the fact that we have a very affordable mortgage
I have seen too many friends and relatives who have stretched themselves and have massive mortgages in order to have much bigger houses.
I actually want to enjoy life

I grew up in a big house, moved out to live in a 15th century cottage, (it was lovely but drafty ), moved to a 2 bed terraced (which I didn’t like)when I got married and then to a nice 4 bed detached. Split with hubby and am now in a one bed flat.

Now at a point in my life for a big change. I’d go for a large country house out in the middle of nowhere, with an annexe that I could rent out. I love gardening, and maintenance wouldn’t be a problem as I’d take my new man with me who’s a builder by trade. I really miss the space, I wouldn’t bother much with the house work (unless people were staying). I also intend to go on holidays to hot countries. I must be barking mad

If I was very comfortably off I would probably go for the big house But if I was going to have to curtail spending on treats,holidays,activities for the children I wouldn't

Had a large one. Loved the bones of it. Would never have such a big, and I realise now expensive, one again though. In a 4-bed new build, which feels small, but we'll get used to it and we should, hopefully, have financial freedom where I don't have to work the equivalent of seven days a week.

Enjoy your home. You're happy there. Unless there's an absolute need why make the move - just because can doesn't mean you should.

We live in a 6000 sq foot money pit. We love it, but will definitely be downsizing when the kids have left home. I don’t want to be here when I’m older and stairs are a pain.

I’m thinking half the size, central London flat with excellent heating, air conditioning and sound insulation. Bliss!

We have been lucky enough to have a large house but never killed our selves with a mortgage we could not easily afford. Therefore we did not go without anything. The advantages are lots of space and a big garden and the house is a pleasure to live in. However the key is: we can easily afford this. I have had holidays, treats, new cars etc. I would not live like a hermit just to have the house. When we had less money we were still careful about what we could truly afford. I think financial well-being makes you happy too!