Would you rather live in a nice, normal house or a big, expensive one?

[BoogleMcGroogle]

We are currently deciding whether to 'upgrade'. Our house is fine, it makes me happy being there, we have a tiny mortgage and can afford to save well, travel with the kids and generally do nice things. Our house will never be Country Living magazine, but it's sunny, spacious and feels like home. We can ( after years of dreaming) finally afford the smart, Farrow and Balled period doodah, and now ( having found one that's perfect on paper) I'm having a wobble. I'm now not sure it's worth sacrificing the financial freedom for a couple of character fireplaces and some big, potentially problematic trees. Any thoughts?

I think we need to clarify what large is. Square footage?

I think everyone is different. We have only moved twice during our marriage, each time was just for necessity (needed an extra bedroom). My DH in particular has always been very cautious with money and although we could have upgraded years ago we didn't bother, just paid the mortgage off early. I think in the back if his mind he always wondered what would happen if he lost his job and we couldn't pay the mortgage. Its quite a nice feeling never to have to worry about that/always have money to travel/have savings for an early retirement.

I have a nice normal big expensive house,it is possible to find such places

My mother has a big expensive house (seven bed, four receptions, enourmous kitchen and a cellar) basically a big country house. It’s got land too.
It’s a fucking headache. I’ve got a little two bed semi, I dont have the patience to sea with the maintenance on a place like my childhood home.

Some of DD’s friends had simply fabulous homes. But it was to our 3 bed semi (near the train station) that they all gravitated. During the summer holidays, it was like a bloody youth club here . Unlike their palatial houses, ours was described as “feeling like home”. So do think twice, especially if the new home will be more rural/remote and you have children approaching teenage years/independence.

Our house is 1600 square feet- three double beds, study, 2 living rooms, kitchen diner, utility, nice garden, 1960's. Perfect for a family.

Potential house is 3200 square feet ( centre of a village)- 5 beds, cellar, 3 receptions, Jacobean plus additions, completely beautiful, rattly windows, novelty Georgian graffiti etc. Perfect for an episode of Ghosts.

Obviously, I'd like to find a middle ground, but we are limited to three villages (school runs and work commitments) in a 'heritage' area of the South East. It's expensive area, but nothing compared with London.

Everyone's thoughts have been very welcome. It has helped me to get my thinking about this a bit clearer. I'm surprised how many people are actively looking forward to downsizing!

I’ve owned 4 houses.

The smallest was 500sq ft, the largest (that I have as my current abode is 800sq feet)

My favourite was the smallest.

greencard same with my home growing up. We lived in a standard semi in town and all my country friends used to stay over on a Friday night. But I did love their pool parties and skiing down my best friend's driveway. Sadly, no skiable driveways near us.

So our new place is 2700 square feet (which includes the cellar storage).It feels absolutely huge in comparison to our 1300sq ft old house, and obviously is. I'm still definitely adjusting to the size, sometimes I wonder if it's too big, but I think once the kids are teenagers it will probably be about right. I think we could probably have been great with somewhere a bit smaller and I definitely wouldn't want anything bigger. Our garden isn't big either which I guess helps with overall maintenance of the place.

I'd rather have more disposable income as long as there is enough space in the current house. Honestly I could win the lotto and I would only slightly upgrade our two bed one bath bungalow to a four bed 2.5 bath. For the space. I wouldn't want too much though. All that extra money on heating extra house seems silly.

Could you inject some "character" into your current home? If it's in the right spot and is the right size then what about just adding some wow factor. Unless you have that already?

I live in a huge 4500sqft period house that is a listed local landmark. My kids are at uni and my DP is away in the week so mostly it's just me and the dog. We have 6 bedrooms and 4 bathrooms between us. This year I will probably spend £15k on just fixing it. I love the house but as soon as my DC move away I will be selling it. And it won't be easy to sell as it is so unusual. Be careful what you wish for.

I think you should look for something in between. That's a big step up.

1600 square feet is indeed a relatively normal sized house. and with that many rooms then none of them can be big.

So why not hold off and look for something you fall in love with, something about 2500 feet or something, this one doesn't seem to be it.

It does sound amazing, but expensive and time-consuming to keep tidy, clean and in good order. You have to really love it, or you'll lend up resenting it. But if you love it enough...

Gosh the difference in running costs alone between the two properties would be huge, let alone the cost doing a house of that size and age up. If you have deep pockets go for it but don’t underestimate how expensive running and maintaining such an old large house can be, especially if you are used to living in a more contemporary home, the difference can come as quite a shock, it’s all well and good affording it on paper but reality can be very different.

Eeek, is potential house also a listed property? If it is, I would say Do Not Touch It - the hoops you have to jump through to get things done! Not so bad if it's Grade II listed, as opposed to Grade I, but I still would't.

Freer and simpler without a doubt.
Your DH can devote his savings spreadsheets to uni fees and money to put towards deposits for the kids.

There are many things I would prefer to spend my disposable income on than a huge house! I'm in Ox where houses can be pretty enormous compared to the UK, my 4 bed 2 bathroom 2 living rooms on a quarter acre is considered pretty average size. There are only three of us so that's plenty for me. I see you fancy a trip to WA, I'd definitely do that instead if I were you, you will love it!

Normal here. There is only 2 of us. We bought 2 years ago a lovely 30s 3 bed semi. It's our forever home. Big enough for us now but small enough as we age.

We could of gone larger but we wanted a manageable mortgage that we could manage on one wage if needed and overpay. We want to enjoy life and have holidays, hobbies, and have disposable income to do other things. Smaller house is cheaper to heat and clean too! Easier to decorate and. Cheaper if smaller!

Of course it's all relative to wants and needs but I'd rather live life to the full than a big empty house.

We swapped from a tiny house to a really big house in a fit of madness, not entirely What We had in mind but were oddly overcome. In hindsight we actually wouldn't have chosen this house-but that's another story!. Space is great. Heating and maintenance bills are dreadful(our house is listed so we are restricted on double glazing etc). Having the house psinted outside was a nightmare cost and just the widows and doirs toom 6 weeks. Indide took for ever to do. Ckeabjng is a nightmare an is imposdible to keep up eithdespite me and a cleaner. Often bigger houses are In less accessible locations (furtherout) so consider that. We obviously have less money to spend now. I sometimes miss it but you get used to it. We're not poor. I can still go for a coffee if I want or go to the local Italian for dinner.space is a luxury and is actually preferable to me than lots of travel nowadays. There are pros and cons. What's more important. Are you a homely person of a lifestyle lover?

If in doubt, don't.

How much of a financial difference would it make? What is your attitude to risk? Eg interest rate rises, redundancy, one/both of you not being able to earn as much, or anything.

The small house I grew up in, in a brilliant location, was great for young DC but not ideal for teens / parents of teens because there was limited space and privacy. You could hear conversations anywhere in the house.

I now live in a big, expensive house, DH’s choice, and am on the fence: all the space is great, everything is “ergonomic” and practical, relaxing. But money is an issue and personally I’d rather have somewhere smaller and cheaper and have the money.

Period properties are beautiful but can be very costly to maintain and heat etc.

For me, there’s always a environmental consideration too. If you’ve got a house that’s the right size and that you love living in, then why change. Large old properties often require more heating, building work to get them up to scratch in terms of glazing, insulation, energy efficiency etc and just generally use a lot more resources

I have no desire at all to live in a big house. It just holds absolutely no appeal to me. I'd love to live in a riverside apartment in central London with huge balcony that I'm allowed to hang washing on, 2 bathrooms, separate loo and separate utility room. That would cost millions in itself so I'm not above a bit of property porn. But a big house? Not for me.

I'm an age now where friends are upsizing, taking on 35 year mortgages to bring them to retirement to get the biggest house they can. I can't see the appeal of that. I live in a modest flat, mortgage will be paid off in less than ten years, leaving me free to travel, enjoy days out, save and not have the burden of housing costs.