Is there anything we can do about this?! Please help!

[crispysausagerolls]

My husband and I found our dream home. It came on the market and was inundated with offers - several of which were speculative or had chains upon chains upon chains. We are cash buyers with no chain and put in a reasonable offer. The EA told us our offer was slightly too low, and to suggest another, higher, and we would surely win. We told him to come back with a number that would win as we didn’t want to start bidding against ourselves, and he said he would come back yesterday evening. He did not. Today I received a call, not even from the EA we were dealing with, to say the buyers accepted another offer.

Is this the end? I am heartbroken, but I am also outrageously angry. The estate agent owed us the chance to match the offer, surely? He specifically said he would find out what number we needed to offer and would tell us, and he did not! What if we were prepared to go higher?! Is it all over now the offer has been accepted? It’s also so shitty that the EA couldn’t even tell us himself, and got someone else to do it.

Please help, I am so sad!

Your parents should've definitely advised you differently!

Oh well, you'll find another you love

When you are the seller, you also have to try and make sure your buyer seems genuine and not at all flaky: this isn't easy, but some buyers are more trouble than they are worth (this is not aimed at you op, just a fact of life). When we sold my deceased parents house we had several offers on the table, but we chose the buyers who seemed the most invested in the property and most likely to complete, despite receiving a higher offer a few days after we had agreed to sell to the first family. The person who offered higher was a bit of a jack the lad type - the sort who will suddenly try and get a price reduction just before exchange - well, that is how we all perceived him to be. Probably a bit judgemental of us, but you have to go with your gut feelings. Also we don't agree with gazumping, although he tried hard to get us to.
Buying and selling is such an emotional experience. Never over invest emotionally in a property until you've got the keys in your hand. It's not worth the angst.

What possibly also doesn't help is this is the type of approach always employed by Kirstie and Phil on TV... if we pay x will you accept and take it off the market. No idea if EAs are swayed by the celeb element, but it just doesn't happen in real life. Why would it? An EAs job (and commission) is to extract maximum value for the vendor.

longearedbat

This is a family home where the mother is now in a care home - it had been their home for 50 years. It’s silly but what hurts is how much we really valued that sentimental side. My grandparents lived on the same street, my family has lived in the area for generations and I grew up there. I really wanted to continue this as a family home, with our baby and our dog etc etc. It’s not about resale value for me, I don’t care about that. I’m annoyed that my husband has fucked this up (not trying to shirk blame but I did just follow his lead here). The answers here have been eye opening.

You could go back to EA with full asking price offer and see what they say. Don't really like that as I'm not keen on gazumping at all. But it's not illegal so it's an option for you.

Be quick though, as in right now. Because the longer a sale is going ahead the more it costs the other buyers

Send us a link! I really want to see it

I can’t send a link - what if someone knows me or the house?! Would be a disaster (more so than already 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈)

It wouldn't. You can NC for the future!

No harm in admitting you were a bit naive. It's the first time you'd done it!

I would deffo email them, explain your appreciation of the property and the area, your connections. Offer your top price. If they still come back with a no, ask them to keep you in mind and let you know if the sale falls through, you're in love with the property etc etc.

While I agree OP has been a bit naive here am I the only one a bit surprised by the agents' tactics. It's pretty usual, in my experience, when a house has lots of interest for the agent to ask for 'best and final offers' by a certain date. This makes sure everyone is on the same page and avoids potentially gazumping/ missing a good offer. It seems odd that the agent didn't do that in this situation.

We're currently under offer and had an offer very early on (24 hours) but buyer made it clear that it was their b&f and their terms (cash). So, when we had another offer a few days later that was higher we were confident in knowing which one to accept.

OP house buying is a unique transactional process for most people unless you’re in it for commercial reasons.

There is no one value. It’s what it’s worth to the vendors and what it’s worth and how affordable it is to potential purchasers and there’s professional opinions based on practical features.

You have a real emotional pull towards this house, which should enhance its value to you, however, unless you know for certain that you never have to think about money, mortgages and resale, then at a point you have to let the head rule the heart. You also have to understand and accept that despite all that you have going for you as attractive potential purchasers, you are only one part of the transaction and you can’t know or second guess the motivation and reasoning of others in the process.

OP, one lesson you can take away from this is that the vendor may also pick who they think is going to be easiest to deal with. Someone who has no experience yet tells the EA they are doing it wrong is not going to look like that kind of person!

Go in and talk to the estate agents face to face and see if anything can be done - you have nothing to loose at this point. It may help your position to show your attachment to the area and that this is your dream house. Too many people try to pretend they are not besotted by a property as they think they must barter and get the best deal possible but if you really want it show them how much you want it. Good luck.

You never actually put in a higher offer after they asked you to. Next time. Up your offer to your limit and say “final and best offer”. If you’ve a bit of wriggle room after that, useit for negotiations around what they’re prepared to leave.

although I completely see what you are saying. It’s literally just that it’s how it works in m&a

I find this very odd. I work for a large global corporation and did a couple of years in M&A and yes of course we put a value against a business, but on no planet would I then think that buying a house was the same, it's a ludicrous thought.

But it's all irrelevant. You've already said you'd never have got close to 1.4 and it's possible that's what it sold for, so even if they had told you a number you'd not have bought it. The higher bidder would have.

I'm failing to see what you're complaining about or why your husband seems to be unable to understand the negotiation process of house purchasing or what occurs if someone has deeper pockets than you.

It's pretty usual, in my experience, when a house has lots of interest for the agent to ask for 'best and final offers' by a certain date. This makes sure everyone is on the same page and avoids potentially gazumping/ missing a good offer. It seems odd that the agent didn't do that in this situation.

Surely the agent follows the vendor's instructions. If the vendor wants to accept an offer and doesn't want to prolong the process by getting into a bidding war or hanging on for a better offer, the agent has to go along with it.

My old law lecturer used to tell us to “follow the money” “he who pays the piper calls the tune”.

House buying is the same. EA gets paid by vendor. Therefore they’re calling the tune.

Think about it logically.

Two offers for the same amount. £1,300,000. Say.

Vendor says go and tell them to raise their offer. I’d like bit more.

One person goes. “Fair enough. I’ll go to £1,350,000 as my full and final offer”.

The other goes “don’t be so ridiculous. This is literally silly we would be bidding against ourselves. We aren’t prepared to do that. Go back to your vendor and tell them to come back to us with what they’re prepared to accept.”

🤷‍♀️

bluntness

Unless I’m doing an appalling job of explaining (and I may well be), I don’t understand what you aren’t understanding!

We can go higher than what we bid, not all the way to 1.4 but some of the way. I have no idea what the winning bid was. I am annoyed that we did not put our highest bid across, as it might have been the same or similar as the winning bid, plus with mitigating factors.

If someone paid 1.4 then that’s obviously what it is! We can’t go that far, good luck to them etc. Maybe things fall through anyway, in which case we need to ensure we are the people the EA come back to.

Husband is talking to EA this morning to see what happened, where we are now and what we can do, if anything. If not perhaps it doesn’t go through. Either way, lessons have been learnt.

Also I don’t know what you did in m&a but my husband is a smart man and I trust her he must have had his reasons, good ones, even if they were ultimately wrong!

*One person goes. “Fair enough. I’ll go to £1,350,000 as my full and final offer”.

The other goes “don’t be so ridiculous. This is literally silly we would be bidding against ourselves. We aren’t prepared to do that. Go back to your vendor and tell them to come back to us with what they’re prepared to accept.”*

I fully agree with this now and I am extremely irritated with ourselves.

Although I would still, if an EA myself, gone back to us to see if we could do 1.36 or otherwise.

But you didn’t even put in an offer when they ASKED you to.

If you were going to do that, the onus was ON YOU to say to the EA when they ASKED for you to raise your offer, to, you know, raise your offer.

The EA is working for the vendor, not you. They aren’t going to chase you when they asked you to raise your offer and you (effectively) said no.

Ok, we are talking cross purposes, but if he was wrong, I'm unsure how this validates him as smart.

The process of buying a house may not be simple, but it's not a secret.

There is nothing wrong with asking what a seller will accept. They may or may not give an indication. More likely not if there is lots of interest. The same as in m&a.

My point is if the house went for 1.4, or a price you wouldn't have offered, then asking you to bid again would have been pointless.

And please don’t take this the wrong way. But you’re not an EA.

They spend all day every day negotiating buying and selling houses. They’ve probably an impression based on experience, that people who don’t just up their offer or who otherwise don’t want the process to work in the usual way will end up being a nightmare to deal with (wrong in your case, but they won’t have time to figure out if you’re the 1% that isn’t)

My point is if the house went for 1.4, or a price you wouldn't have offered, then asking you to bid again would have been pointless.

I agree with this!!!! I suppose I would just like to know if this is the case - if possible.

Just make another offer. When we were offering on houses estate agents never suggested figures. They want the highest price so it is not really in their interests to get you a bargain.

Personally I think if you really want a house you need to go full asking. I did that with the house we are in now. We probably paid too much for it, but we wanted it so much.

Remember, estate agents lie. They just want their commision.

Although I would still, if an EA myself, gone back to us to see if we could do 1.36 or otherwise.

Not unless the vendor asked you to. Supposing you did that, got a better offer, went back to the vendor with it, and they said 'No, stop messing everyone about, I told you I'm accepting the other offer.' It will become clear that you are playing games and your business reputation will suffer.