DH wants to move to ultra-modern house..

[mistressploppy]

...and I just can't get my head around it. I'm really trying to use my imagination, not get too emotional, think of the practicalities etc but I'm struggling. It's just not 'me'. I love our current house - it's a Victorian semi, medium garden, 4 bedrooms, period features blah blah. It suits my -messiness- maximal decor style. But DH grew up in a massive house with huge garden etc and longs for more space. (He also prefers more modern styles but says he's not particularly bothered about that ie he likes our current house, he just says it's not big enough.) We are both adamant that we don't want to move from our current location so opportunities are very slim. This modern house is perfect in terms of location and space but BOY is it ugly. And mega mega modern/open plan/weird. It's like a Grand Designs nightmare. Argh.

If anyone has experience of being a traditionalist-old-house-loving-chintzy person who has happily transitioned into living in a modern house I'd like to hear about it

I'm about to finish the build on my new house. It has 6 bedrooms, is partially open plan downstairs and is quite modern in architecture and decor. I'm slightly nervous about leaving my 4 bed (very) extended pre war semi but needs must! If it's done right modern houses can be just as warm and cosy as older ones.

You could make it incredible inside (but only if your heart is in it)

We rent overseas and the last place we had was an updated house with an open plan downstairs. I didn't like it one bit. Upstairs was great, but downstairs the kitchen flowed into the living area; there was no separate TV room, and you had to try and keep it tidy all the time.

Luckily, the landlords wanted to move back into it, so we are now in a 1750s house, with no open plan at all, and I couldn't be happier. I will never, ever, live in an open plan house again.

Meh, I lived in a standard new build, moved to a old cottage, moved to an old Victorian house, moved to a Ultra modern house, black tiled floors, floor to ceiling windows, all downstairs open plan, and then moved again to a 400 year old listed building. Happy in them all, except together Victorian as too close to the road, love this one the most, but still have the occassional hankering over the sleek glossy lines of the modern one.

The only thing I'd say is you do need to furnish sympathetically or it looks a bit daft. Advantages and disadvantages to them all.

If it's just not your style, don't do it. We had no realistic alternative, we'd outgrown my tiny terrace and for the money we had, a box on an estate was the best we could do. It still feels like living in an AirB&B, it doesn't feel like mine at all. I would downsize for a house I liked, but DH wouldn't, so we're stuck here until we win the lottery.

You're so negative about it, there's no way you'd ever like it (or so it can comes across). But it does sound like DH isn't to fussed about the architectural style but just wants something spacious. I think I'd just keep on looking. Even if very big Victorian houses don't exist in the area, perhaps an Edwardian or a 20's house would be easier for you to accept.

I Grew up in an RIBA medal winning house
architecture students turning up during meal times / random magazine shoots

So
Your DH wants minimalist .... inventory is king ....
Go round your current house, starting at the loft

• list EVERYTHING you own ; and where it is stored in the current house
• print the lot out and ask him where it will go in the new house

-or why he wants rid of it money where mouth is and all that ... make no comment, offer no support. He wants the change, make him make it work

Thanks everyone, this helps a lot

ASqueaking - your point about choice is good; I think we can do better. I want to wait.

JoJo - I am being negative, I know. I think if it was just modern, I'd suck it up, but it's REALLY modern. The walls upstairs don't even reach the ceiling..

Furnishing sympathetically would be expensive as all our stuff is traditional - good point Blunt

Talkin - love it, I will do this

Oh god I’d hate it. I hate new builds I also live in a Victorian semi with lovely garden and four bedrooms. They will have to carry me out of here in a coffin. I love Victorian houses!

PS
I'd love to build my own ultra modern house
but it would have a shit ton of hidden storage

as well as being ultra ultra energy efficient

The two of you will have to compromise somewhere down the line, if not both of you will be unhappy. But a compromise is just that - neither party gets exactly what they want.

Nothing wrong with you bring negative, if you hate it then it's a non-starter.

You don't like it. Don't be pressured into buying it. Keep looking. You will probably have to compromise on something but there's a difference between compromise and abject surrender!

Don't rule out all modern houses. Not all of them are ugly. And I think you are both being unwise to not even look at the possibility of another area.

If you don’t like it don’t do it! We moved to a new build and I’m struggling a bit , I miss some of the character our old flat had (on the plus side though, new build is warm! No drafts!)

Trouble with these grand design type of houses they tend to end up looking like an airport lounge or a shopping centre with the acoustics to match, if you like warm and cosy you could end up being very miserable indeed. You would have to find a way of making it more welcoming and homely, and I think that can be quite difficult, but not impossible if you have imagination and a bit of flair. Grand design houses do have the wow factor but not necessarily the homely factor and if that is important to you I would swerve it unless you want the challenge.

Modern with old elements can look fantastic if you get it right, I love these looks it could be an exciting challenge!

Leaving aside the fact that I am lucky to have a home ...

I love old houses and have lived in them (and confronted their challenges) most of my life. And I could just about cope with ultra ultra-modern (although it would kill me trying to keep it tidy).

What I would find difficult would be something in between.

I'm not sure I could deal with "ugly" op but is it ugly from the inside as well as the outside? If the latter, you might find the space and location are great, if you don't have to look at it ifysim... maybe?

I don’t know why you are moving at all.

If he wants more space than your huge house then maybe he will never have enough. I would suggest some sort of a minimalist retreat for him this summer and save yourselves the stress and costs of moving just to please him.

There is an island in Ireland called Lough Derg. It’s basically torture for three days with no food no shoes and no bed. Send him there this July and he will find your current house heavenly forever more. Good luck.

I think you have to be a certain type of person to enjoy minimalist/open plan. Super tidy, for a start....
One thing that always strikes me about those Grand Designs houses is that they always film the end result on a sunny day, usually in summer, so you don't think of all those acres of glass with pitch black outside, or just grey/wet/miserable.

Wouldn't do for a draw-the-curtains-and-get-cosy type, like me. The

Do you have kids? How old, if so? I can't see open plan and walls not reaching the ceiling working with teenagers.
I LOVE my parents v modern open plan extension of their tiny house. But they don't have us at home. And it's a pain when we visit, nobody can get away from everyone else.

I don't know if it's any help, but I love www.themodernhouse.com for modern house property porn. Some modern houses work really well with a vintage-style decor.