Is anyone else struggling with stereotypes when buying????

[BarchesterFlowers]

Estate Agent - fairly posh one - Memorandum of sale addressed to Mr & Mrs DH's first name Flowers - put that right.

Survey - completely separate to anything else, random firm commissioned by me, DH's name nowhere near it, paid for by me, emails all from me - addressed to Mr DH's first name Flowers.

What are these people on, it is 2017. Never encountered this before in my five previous purchases. DH is as as I am.

We once bought a house and had this. Buying in joint names, dh works lots of nights and I'm sahp. I arranged viewings, rang the offers in, every time they contacted us they rang dh not me. Despite being repeatedly told to sort it with me by both myself and dh. On the third time of ringing him out of bed he went absolutely berserk about the sexist pig that cannot get his head around speaking to a woman who can make decisions and they don't need to confirm anything with him!
The same estate agent cannot have a conversation without looking at your tits! Nice man with his wife I hear too!

We have a double barrelled surname, our solicitor told my husband that this was very unusual and may cause problems when we sell our house in the future.

"Why?" We asked.

The solicitor said it was because my husband had changed his name and would have to bring proof of the name change to confirm any paperwork.

We were both outraged!

Yes, EA's generally do have their letters as standard but, they will come out as they are put in - ie salutation Mr & Mrs/Mr & Miss/Mrs & Mr/Mr & Mr etc but, it can be altered manually before printing or emailing the letter/memo out. The bigger difficulty comes when I have a non British name come in on enquiry and to be registered but, no title so I don't know if they are male or female so tend to put their salutation as Sir/Madam so their emails will automatically be addressed Dear Sir/Madam Umbongo.
As for contacting by phone; if I have a specific request that I call the female I will but, if not I tend to go with contacting the most pleasant to deal, the one that will know the continuation of a previous converation with or the person that I have had a lot of dealings with therefore may be a continuation of previous conversations. I've never thought that I could only speak to the male person though. I will say that I have often found that if there are a male and female couple, the woman in the partnership can be extremely brusque and often unpleasant to deal with. Men too but less so.

Oh yes, the Mr & Mrs/Mr & Miss/Mrs & Mr/Mr & Mr etc's are drop down boxes on the pc's so also include Dr, Rev, Miss, Ms and more.

I will say that I have often found that if there are a male and female couple, the woman in the partnership can be extremely brusque and often unpleasant to deal with.

What? So are you saying that most women (because I would assume that a male/female partnership is the more frequent) are unpleasant?

I did not say most women are unpleasant at all. I said that often the women that I deal with are brusque and unpleasant to deal with. Not the same thing at all.

Similar experience. A (male) estate agent congratulated me on how well my husband was doing for himself, for us to be looking at the houses we were looking at. We had saved our deposit together and I earned more than DH.

Brilliant bit of de-railing there, DadSussex

Must add "fight for men's equality" to the list of things that women should do...

Gizlot - what's your Q about adoption certificates? I might be able to help

OP - your situation sounds extremely frustrating. I've had similar in various circumstances, including inconsistencies (eg apparently DH's name has to go first on a bank account, but my name had to go first on the mortgage application because I was the higher earner....)

It probably is a software issue but someone designed the software and did the most recent update hopefully this century. I remember filling in mortgage application forms or insurance forms with a financial adviser (lovely chap who came to the house) and when I went to fill in forms for Applicant 1 and 2 as MrNC can barely write, he told me to put MrNC as Applicant 1 - because a few companies couldn't cope with the man being second but many couldn't cope with the lower earner (me) first. Stupid software.

The estate agent was fine but then they were called Surname & Daughter!

I bet the daily mail doesnt run this story

I'm just starting out on our house selling/buying journey but so far the EA and the mortgage broker have managed to get their heads around the fact that I'm a Ms with a different surname from DH. The EA has also put my name first on correspondence.

I did not say most women are unpleasant at all. I said that often the women that I deal with are brusque and unpleasant to deal with. Not the same thing at all.

Why does your business attract these unpleasant women.

Just about every car servicing place that I've been to has sent me paperwork addressed to 'Mr Svalberg'. That's my dad & he died in 1998 so I usually throw it away.

Haha! You don't choose who walks into your shop! You serve them as best you can regardless and hope it's a quick sale/purchase!

@Olenaswimpole it's whether the female parents name is first ?

Gizlot - no, the father is still listed first on the adoption certificate then the mother

Just coming back here to update you all after I told my 80 year old dad about this survey today .

He is the most calm, kind man I have ever known, he was cross, sheer disbelief. He is an amazing person anyway but his reaction was golden, that a woman should encounter such things in 2017 was beyond him. If someone of his generation can get their head around equality then how come the small town EA/surveyor/lawyer can't?

I think the only way to deal with this sort of ignorant tripe is to address it, and I have, and I will continue to do so.

Love your Dad ❤️

Hope the EA realised the error of their out dated sexist ways?

The EA is bad enough, but the surveyor I engaged and paid for is worse Barbara. My name is not on the report at all!!

I might have used words along the lines of 'a very unfortunate assumption to make as I am funding this purchase', rather than my dad's 'what a bloody ignorant man, as an educated person he should know better'.

Stick with your Dad.

Are you absolutely 100% sure you haven't been caught in a site slip?