Painter/decorator 'friend'... would I be giving him the wrong impression/ leading him on?!

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Hi I am after a little advice on a sort of moral dilemma.
I will shortly be moving into my new flat and finances are extremely tight to say the least. I have recently lost my job and I am going to have to decorate and furnish the place myself on limited funds.
It's been a hideous few years. One thing after another and finally I will have my 'own' (housing association) place and a little bit of security.

The other huge problem is that I am completely useless, I can't do a thing although I am good with design/colour and quite creative!
Severe back pain and 2 prolapsed discs also severely limit what I can do because the pain makes me exhausted quickly.
This will seem like I am going off subject, but bear with me!!
A few months ago I met a guy on a dating site and we went out, Unfortunately he wasn't the sharpest and he had forgotten his wallet!!! I ended up paying for all of the drinks and the taxi back to my place.
I knew he was genuine because he was mortified and so apologetic.
The next day (Sunday) I was cooking a roast and he was over the moon at being 'spoiled' and was very 'into' me!

I was not really into him though and I told him after the date that I juat wanted to be 'friends' and I was not into him romantically at all. I tried to be kind and say that he was not my type.
This was true, but what i didn't tell him because I didn't want to hurt him is that he irritated the living daylights out of me even in the short time we spent together and I don't find him attractive in any way!!
He made it clear that he was gutted and kept on about taking me for a slap up meal, as friends, to make up for being an idiot on the first date.
I kept making excuses and we never actually went out. He still messages occasionally to say hello and for some general chit chat though.

My dilemma is that he is a painter/decorator/handy-man....... and I am going to need a lot of things done at my new place!!
The list is endless.... wallpapering, curtain poles put up, washing machine plumbed in, blinds fitted, furniture assembled and that is just the start
..........so my question is do I ask him to help out to 're-pay' the favour instead of the meal or would that be leading him on/using him??
I don't have anyone to help me do anything at all and I know that I am going to struggle and get really frustrated and miserable that I can not achieve anything or get the place looking homely and comfortable?
I was thinking that if I offer to pay him at a reduced rate or something it won't seem so bad?
What would you do??

URaflutteringcunt and others you have made monumental and inaccurate assumptions and judgements.
I grew up with no male role models and no female one's either. I was not shown how to cook/sew/DIY or any of the essential life skills that one needs. I taught myself to cook because I felt that it was important, and I liked it!
The few skills that i I have I have taught myself. My mother was more interested in herself and what she needed. I was a 'nuisance'....and yes she was emotionally/physically abusive. I learned to be 'invisible'.... My confidence rock bottom.
As soon as I could at 18 I moved away with my bf. We were students and lived in accomodation that was fully furnished and we could not change.
When we eventually moved into our home, his father insisted on doing everything and my now ex did not object.
Following the separation from ex bf above I have lived in private rented accommodation that was always furnished etc so I have not been able to change it so I have never had the opportunity or the need to learn.
Please don't make assumptions when you know so little of the circumstances. It is hurtful.
I have worked damn hard all of my working life for every penny. I am not lazy, I have worked 4/5 12 hour night shifts every week for over 6 years which are exhausting especially when you find it difficult to sleep in the daytime. It was what contributed to my severe back injury. Some days I can not pick up a heavy bag or Hoover without sittingon the floor.
This is not "woe is me" or excuse.....it is FACT and my reality.
Those who want to troll and make me feel bad can go and troll someone else cos my life is shit enough without you horrible bullies.

You've literally just made the same assumptions. What makes you think anyone here was taught how to cook or sew or any essential life skills. I certainly wasn't either. But people have got on and learned by using their own initiative. I'm not bullying you, I'm trying to show you that just because you can't do something now doesn't mean you can't do it forever.

NONE of us came out of the womb knowing how to do DIY or such things. We all learnt by hook and by crook. And all of us, I guarantee you, cocked things up somewhere along the way.

But if you are determined to keep playing the woe card about how you are somehow super-unable and unwilling to learn for yourself, then I am not going to bother continuing to try encouraging you to have a go and teach yourself a new skill to go along with all the other ones you have amassed over a lifetime.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy your new home.

I taught myself to cook because I felt that it was important, and I liked it!

There you go then.

I think there's a lot of encouragement on this thread, albeit some of it of the no-nonsense variety, perhapd bordering into "bracing". Loads of people saying c'mon, we did it from nothing, you can too. Bit rude to chuck it all back in our faces and call us trolls IMO.

op. you are being very rude. I don't know why I have bothered trying to help you, you are very ungrateful.

I would LOVE a secure modern ha flat. if you really don't want to put up furniture snd curtains pm me and I'll take over your tenancy.

One thing I forgot to mention was this Facebook page: DIY top tips on a budget.

You do have to have a bit of a tolerance for bloody fablon and shabby chic, but there good nuggets on making something from nothing.

First of all I am not calling you all trolls, just those who are judgemental and unhelpful.
I obviously know that we are not born with essential life skills, but it is not too much to expect our parents or someone to have taught us.
I will repeat because some seem to have an inability to read, I am not adverse to learning. I taught myself how to cook....
However, there is a world of difference between messing up a meal and chucking it to causing potential major damage that could cost hundreds to put right in a home!

I will again reiterate that I am prepared to learn, I am just really scared!

New things are scary I agree, but you can congratulate yourself on overcoming that fear with learning to cook, I bet you feel much better about yourself after doing that right? So now you do the same with the next skill you need, you know you CAN do it despite the fear, as you already have, so start the same way you did with cooking, ie reading books / internet / YouTube etc; pick something small like putting up a toilet roll holder or something that can be done by one person, and give it a go. You won't cause huge amounts of damage with something small, even if it's your first attempt, hence starting small, plus you won't overtire yourself and increase pain levels (I live with chronic pain so not wanting to be condescending here). You can do it, you just need faith in yourself, and remember, you taught yourself to cook which takes far more multitasking than putting up a toilet tool holder or similar, so you really CAN do it

Also, see if there is a Timebank near you, great for skill swapping, and even those who are severely disabled and housebound can contribute according to Timebank policies, ao you'll definetly have skills to share in that forum. Go for it!