The countryside is LOVELY but I'd not want to live there.

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I grew up in the countryside and always believed I'd end up in countryside with my children.

Viewed a house in the countryside yesterday. It's only 3 miles from the nearest town, on mostly single track roads. I'm shocked at how awful I found it. Not the countryside as such (that was stunningly beautiful as one would expect) but the prospect of living in the countryside. The house was gorgeous, ticked all the boxes. Except that it is in the countryside. All that having to drive everywhere. We drive very little. Our car is 10 years old (we've had it since new) and has done 30,000 miles (mostly racked up on holiday). I found myself wondering where we would go for a walk as a family with our lovely dog (we have lovely walks through parks and on trails close to where we currently live). There are loads of different walks none of which involves a car. Walking on single track roads with no pavements is no fun with small children and a dog. And ditto cycling. (We do a lot of cycling as a family.) And when it comes time for your children to learn to drive, I would be terrified of them coming home in cars on single track roads. I found it such a stressful headache just driving to get there and I used to live about 9 miles down a single track road so I'm well used to it.

And then I started to think about the difficulty of getting a babysitter: we like to go out with friends and to the theatre/cinemea. And the difficulty of getting to friends' houses for dinner, and them coming to us. And getting the children to and from school and to and from their activities. And for us going about our work. Ugh. It felt terribly depressing.

I think I've decided I prefer to live in town. I can think of no reason to live in the countryside (unless you derive your income from being there).

Does anyone else feel the same?

sunshine I am essentially alone in this. Problem is there are a lot of vultures flapping around thinking they'll get land cheap because I'm just a little woman.

Oh derxa how sad and what a tough decision. I don't think either way will be wrong send you'll never know how it would have been the other way. Try not to completely panic about the farm yet. Just look after your dad as best you can for now

I live in a medium sized village. PO three days a week, small shop, butcher's, pub, primary school which is not where my dc will start in September so add more driving and I love it. I drive almost everywhere but it isn't usually long in the car and doesn't bother me. We can ride bikes to a decent playground and skatepark from our door and have a large garden and it's quiet. Our road is single track but most of the village isn't and the dc are more traffic savvy from riding bikes on our road and having to be aware of cars. Not saying if trust 2 three year old and a 4 year old but it's ok. The school we chose is a 2 mike drive along single track roads. There will be 18 in my dd's class (took her and 2 others on appeal) and it's lovely to be on the edge of the countryside. I absolutely love it.

I'm not into shopping though. I don't think I'd enjoy city living. Just getting into our nearest big city which is about 60 miles south stresses me out!

hilarious that septic tanks are an issue for some. What is the problem?

toilet, not bin. I hope you know the difference even if on mains drainage.

but I'm not 'really' in the countryside. Village shop, post box, bus service and pub all in walking distance. Lovely walks/cycle rides with no need for a car. 10 mins drive on real roads to town.

works for me. Miles up a gravel track seems to be asking for trouble.

Derxa - A horrid time for you. I would concentrate on your dad for now and let the thoughts re what to do about the property/land trickle down in the background. Perhaps it will become obvious. Perhaps it isn't a binary decision: could you retain some of it and sell on some of it? Do what's best for you and get some advice, independently of the sales agent(s) you eventually intend to appoint. (I use someone who is tremendous if you want a name and number.)

It's wrong to assume all urban dwellers are keen on shopping. It's like assuming all country-dwellers bake their own bread.

I don't like the countryside either OP - I need facilities and culture

YANBU.

I live in a city - I can walk everywhere, I can get out into the countryside through woods and not meet a single road - In fact, I could, in theory, get from my house near the city centre in Yorkshire to Bowness in Windermere via the Dales Way. I can cycle off road into the city centre.

I can walk to the supermarket, my teenagers and children have free roam, they can go to local parks alone, meet their friends, pick up shopping for me.

I love the countryside and visit a lot. But live there? Nah.

hilarious that septic tanks are an issue for some

Yeah, well, I'm far happier in crowds of people and love city smells (neither of which I get here - next month the place will stink of chicken shit for a fortnight.) I'm not happy about having a mini sewage works in the back garden and hate the big crap-sucking lorry.

I recognise that people are different and wouldn't claim it's "hilarious" that some people can't handle cities.

I cope fine with it - and have lived in places with cesspits which are much worse. It is only human excreta. No big deal. Especially for anyone who has ever brought up a baby.

having the 'sewage works' in the garden really makes you think about what you flush and what you throw down waste pipes. No bad thing.

We have a cess,and you'd hardly know tbh.
Its not like having to go up to an outhouse to use the long drop.
Though I wouldn't mind.

I grew up in the country & now live in a village. I love the convenience, the footpaths, the street lights....our DC will be able to walk to school & there is a bus stop a 2 min walk.

But when my parents are no longer I don't think I would be able to sell the family home (built on family land etc) & it is in the countryside. But maybe when time comes (I hope it's not for a very long time) our DC memories in our house will outweigh what I feel for my home as a child, teenager, adult. I hope that makes sense!

I didn't like living with a septic tank. This doesn't make me some kind of inadequate human being, fgs! There are very few things I really dislike; living in a rural village full-time is one of them, and the lack of mains services is very much a part of it. People have preferences: I don't like pickled foods or skinny jeans, either. Feel free to have a go.

Clemency, you've hit on one of the main things non-Londoners get wrong about London :) I know you live in a different city - but same thing. I find this little market town a hundred times less friendly than the Smoke. It's not that people here are unfriendly per se, but they nearly all grew up here and married someone they've always known. No 'need' for new folks. Since London's always changing, more people are open to new connections.

OP to be fair if you'd started an "I hate London/ Living in the City' thread loads of people would be jumping in to defend it, and there are plenty of posts here agreeing with you.

It really isn't a case that one is better than the other, they are just different, and you really shouldn't generalise about either rural or urban living because there is tonnes of variety in both settings. But people do love to put down the option that they didn't choose or have walked away from as it's an easy way to affirm ones life choices.

Why are you so cross Garlick ?

Having a viewpoint different to yours is not intended to have a go!

Having a different viewpoint is normal. Contempt for other people's valid opinions is rude. And I was very cross about everything in the world yesterday

Now,cross about everything in the world I do understand Garlick.
Hope today is more un-cross for you

Why can't you love both? I live in the countryside but absolutely love visiting London. I would happily have a little flat up there if I could afford it! Be bliss to visit for a couple of days once a month but I've just come back today and whilst I love the bustle, culture and gorgeous food of the city I do love to come back to the peace and stillness of the countryside.