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Original poster

The countryside is LOVELY but I'd not want to live there.

94 replies

AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons · 27/07/2015 12:02

I grew up in the countryside and always believed I'd end up in countryside with my children.

Viewed a house in the countryside yesterday. It's only 3 miles from the nearest town, on mostly single track roads. I'm shocked at how awful I found it. Not the countryside as such (that was stunningly beautiful as one would expect) but the prospect of living in the countryside. The house was gorgeous, ticked all the boxes. Except that it is in the countryside. All that having to drive everywhere. We drive very little. Our car is 10 years old (we've had it since new) and has done 30,000 miles (mostly racked up on holiday). I found myself wondering where we would go for a walk as a family with our lovely dog (we have lovely walks through parks and on trails close to where we currently live). There are loads of different walks none of which involves a car. Walking on single track roads with no pavements is no fun with small children and a dog. And ditto cycling. (We do a lot of cycling as a family.) And when it comes time for your children to learn to drive, I would be terrified of them coming home in cars on single track roads. I found it such a stressful headache just driving to get there and I used to live about 9 miles down a single track road so I'm well used to it.

And then I started to think about the difficulty of getting a babysitter: we like to go out with friends and to the theatre/cinemea. And the difficulty of getting to friends' houses for dinner, and them coming to us. And getting the children to and from school and to and from their activities. And for us going about our work. Ugh. It felt terribly depressing.

I think I've decided I prefer to live in town. I can think of no reason to live in the countryside (unless you derive your income from being there).

Does anyone else feel the same?

OP posts:
Puffykins · 27/07/2015 19:42

I grew up in rural isolation. I still visit my parents, in their new rural isolation (there's no road access. You have to drive across the fields. But that only works when it hasn't snowed, which it does, a LOT.) it's a special sort of hell, especially with two young children. I get claustrophobic because you can't do ANYTHING unless you get in a car and drive across all those fields, getting out to open and close all those gates, to drive to the nearest largish village, with a shop and a crap playpark, twenty minutes away. One Christmas we ran out of food, and got snowed in, and all we ate for five days were old rabbits the dog had caught and my mother had shoved in the freezer, 'in case'. You can go for walks from the house, but DS who is 4 and DD who is 3 aren't brilliant at traversing the moors just yet, covered as they are in waist high heather. I'm always incredibly relieved to return to our cramped accommodation in central London, especially in the winter (because OP, if it concerned you now, just think what it might look like in the damp dark days of February....) oh, and for anyone who is that isolated, stock up on food. If you've read the SAS Survival Handbook you'll know you can actually die of starvation if you try to exist only on rabbit.

wonkylegs · 27/07/2015 19:59

OP that obviously wasn't the bit of the countryside for you.
We crossed off a lovely house for that reason too it was gorgeous but too isolated but we now live in what my SIL calls 'countryside light' - we moved from the centre of a city to a largish village. Our house has land & overlooks fields but we're on a good bus route & there is a train station up the road (1/2 hr service), the village has excellent high speed broadband, mobile service, a kids park, 2 convenience stores, post office, several pubs & a couple of takeaways, school, drs, dentists, pharmacy, loads of community groups and its a short drive to two lovely towns which have everything else. You can get online food shops from local town supermarkets.
We can walk on the footpath across the fields at the back of our house or down by the river (proper maintained footpaths) or round the local reservoir or nature reserve.
I do miss a few things about the city but it's easy enough to go visit but actually there are loads of things I would miss more if we left here.
OP don't write off 'the countryside' just write off that house and keep looking.

ouryve · 27/07/2015 20:01

I honestly think that many people don't think these through when appearing on the likes of Escape to the Country.

car0line123 · 27/07/2015 21:18

Without children, most definitively city centre for me. Then I would have loved to live in the countryside with a baby/ toddler, but couldn't face it with teenagers who have to be ferried around everywhere, spend hours driving them to school, and live far from their friends. Once the kids are at uni, then back to the country!

velidhu · 27/07/2015 21:48

A decade ago, we viewed a lovely house in a village with views of fields from the back garden as far as you could see. I also had a toddler and baby at the time. There were no pavements so any walking to the solitary village store for milk and a paper meant walking on the road. Clearly, I would be doing a ton of driving in reality to baby and toddler groups in a town 20 mins drive away. I decided quite quickly that we needed/liked the urban conveniences of the drs, dentists, schools, hospitals, swimming pool, cinema, supermarkets, etc more than the reality of rural isolation especially with young children. We now live in a market town having graduated from big city surburbia. It's a very attractive market town but a relatively small population inevitably means that there's not a huge choice regarding schooling and it's not great - in fact, as a rural county, it features towards the bottom of the LEA table! So... pro's and con's....

imabusybee · 27/07/2015 21:53

I like to think I have best of both worlds - village with amenities and drs, public footpaths within walking distance of house but more rural wwalks & woods less than 10mins in car. Town with plenty to do, eat drink etc less than 10mins drive or short bus journey & two major cities 25 mins in car! Having lived in London, & the suburbs this is my idea of heaven :)

holmessweetholmes · 27/07/2015 22:05

I started off in London and have gone steadily more rural. I live in a little village in Cumbria. I absolutely love it! Wouldn't live in the city again for all the tea in China. But equally I wouldn't have chosen a house that was on its own and not in a village. Countryside really doesn't have to mean isolation! I feel far more immersed in a community here than anywhere else I've lived. Small supermarket and a few shops 5 mins drive away, nice decent-sized town 20 mins away. Pub 5 mins walk.

daisychain01 · 27/07/2015 22:24

I moved from Home Counties semi rural to very beautiful Wye Valley AONB.

Countryside stuff I like = rush hour is about 50 cars in 30 mins, blisssss (I'm only that accurate because we took part in a speed awareness survey in my village today! Smile
= community is wonderful, people warm and friendly, everyone smiles and waves. We look out for each other and care about our community
= can run for miles and not worry about weight of traffic or fumes! I breathe in the freshest air this side of Christendom
= mortgage is 1/2 what it was for a bigger property

Things I miss from the HC
= cycling to the shop took 7 mins on the flat (now it's 27 mins and loads of hills)
= used to take 30 mins to get to work, now it takes 2 hours to drive in, so I stay in a Travelodge for 2 nights and do 2 days at home.
= I was closer to some family and friends but now am closer to different family. I keep in touch during my working week (dinner round at DMs each week Smile

On balance my quality of life is fantastic in the countryside.

daisychain01 · 27/07/2015 22:30

I comfort myself in the knowledge that my colleague at work tells me it can take 2 hours from Watford to our West London office and if
I leave at the right time of day it takes me about the same time!

PettsWoodParadise · 27/07/2015 22:41

I'm a suburban lass through and through. I like my Chinese delivered takeaway, I like ten mins walk to shops, train, restaurants. I like the peace and quiet of my cul-de-sac. I adore having London a short train ride away and the countryside on my doorstep to visit., A friend moved to the country but put on so much weight as she couldn't walk anywhere with lanes too narrow and buggies that couldn't navigate hedges and fields. It was also noisy due to farm machinery and animals nearby and polluted due to crop spraying. What is a nightmare for some is a dream for others.

YeOldeTrout · 27/07/2015 22:48

I grew up in great big city & am astonished how much I like little cities now.

I actually live in small market town, but crave a return to proper city.

Mintyy · 27/07/2015 22:48

I find this a very odd op.

Why did you go and view this country house yesterday op? Surely it can't have only just occurred to you about all the downsides of country living?

TheOneWiththeNicestSmile · 27/07/2015 22:48

Oooh, I am so with you, OP!

I live in a small market town which has several satellite villages 2-3 miles away. I would hate to live in any of them Grin

They all have at least one pub, but most no longer have a shop, & although the roads to each are technically 2-lane, in fact they all have chicanes & narrow bits & blind-right-angled bridges where you suddenly come face to face with oncoming traffic & somebody has to reverse.

Whereas I can walk to everything if I have to & there's a 24-hour Tesco 5 minutes walk away for the things I inevitably forget.

Townie & proud (sorry)

scarlets · 27/07/2015 23:39

I could probably live anywhere that felt safe and secure. I don't mind bustle, and I don't mind quiet. Those soulless, bland commuter new build estates in the South East leave me a bit cold though.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 27/07/2015 23:42

I'll read the rest of the thread in a minute but I just wanted to say rather a small lane on a dark snowy morning than a busy town street. At least on a lane the only thing that you'll hit will be a soft grass verge.

TheRealMaryMillington · 27/07/2015 23:48

I go a bit cabin feverish about lunchtime of the second day of a weekend visiting our friends in their rural idyll. It's not for me.

80sMum · 28/07/2015 00:00

I wouldn't like to live in a town. I like being able to walk out of my front door and go for a walk. We are very lucky to live adjacent to hundreds of acres of NT common land. Having said that, we are not exactly "in the country" but are semi rural / semi suburban. Nearest town is 7 miles away, nearest mainline train station is 3 miles,so we're not exactly in the sticks.

TheRealMaryMillington · 28/07/2015 00:08

I live on the very edge of a city, I can see the sea from my bedroom window and 5 minutes walk from 20 miles of coastal path. Also 5 minutes from the train that takes me to the city centre in 5 minutes. I flipping love my amenities, me. Grew up semi-rurally and hated it.

HelloNewman · 28/07/2015 00:12

It's your thing or it isn't - thank God we don't all want the same thing.

I grew up in a town and now live in a village. It's only about 2 miles from town but is extremely rural. We have incredible countryside on our doorstep and I appreciate it every single day.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 28/07/2015 05:43

We live in a small village but 9 miles from Cambridge. Our village has a PO/shop, primary school, a butcher/deli, GP, pub, curry house, tea shop, so quite well catered for. There's also a secondary school a few miles away with a school bus service.

I like the community spirit, the ability to go for walks from my door, the peace and quiet.

However, I do at times miss the facilities of the city, and resent having to get into my car every time I want to go to the cinema or theatre as there are no buses after 7pm.

Dh would never move back to the city. I probably would if i was by myself although I know that there are things about the city which drove me mad when we lived there (no parking, small garden, noise, litter etc).

The one place I would hate to live is suburbia.

derxa · 28/07/2015 06:47

I also come from a long line of farmers and live in a small market town where we can take a short walk to good shops, cinema etc. We're 5 minutes away from an airport and a motorway. It's fantastic.
At the moment I'm living at my father's farm and waiting for him to die. The scenery is beautiful and we're on the edge of a small town. Do I keep the farm or not? My head's in a muddle.

CityDweller · 28/07/2015 09:21

This thread is either brilliantly or terribly timed - we're planning a move from city centre to a village 60miles away and I'm having a few wobbles! So hard to know if such a 'big move' is the right thing to do...

BitOutOfPractice · 28/07/2015 09:24

I'm a townie too. I would hate to live I. The countryside or small village.

I'm often struck my how many people post problems on mn that is caused or exacerbated by the old "I live in a remote area, I don't drive and there's only 1 bus a week".

wonkylegs · 28/07/2015 09:38

City Dweller - I had the same wobbles but we've been here 2yrs now and I wouldn't swap it for the world. Yes I miss some city things (taxis having a clue where I live for instance) but generally it's been a positive thing and we have lots of things here we couldn't have had in the city - mainly space, lots and lots of space.

SignoraStronza · 28/07/2015 09:44

We live in a well served village (shop, hairdressers, decent bus service, playground/park, butchers, post office, school etc in the country but just off a main trunk road. Best of both worlds really.

I grew up properly in the middle of nowhere and wouldn't wish it on any teenager. Missed out so much being unable to pop round and see friends to study etc and hated having to rely on parents for transport. Basically as soon as I was about 15 I'd disappear (hitchhike to town) for the whole weekend and my parents had little idea what I was up to!