The countryside is LOVELY but I'd not want to live there.

[AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons]

I grew up in the countryside and always believed I'd end up in countryside with my children.

Viewed a house in the countryside yesterday. It's only 3 miles from the nearest town, on mostly single track roads. I'm shocked at how awful I found it. Not the countryside as such (that was stunningly beautiful as one would expect) but the prospect of living in the countryside. The house was gorgeous, ticked all the boxes. Except that it is in the countryside. All that having to drive everywhere. We drive very little. Our car is 10 years old (we've had it since new) and has done 30,000 miles (mostly racked up on holiday). I found myself wondering where we would go for a walk as a family with our lovely dog (we have lovely walks through parks and on trails close to where we currently live). There are loads of different walks none of which involves a car. Walking on single track roads with no pavements is no fun with small children and a dog. And ditto cycling. (We do a lot of cycling as a family.) And when it comes time for your children to learn to drive, I would be terrified of them coming home in cars on single track roads. I found it such a stressful headache just driving to get there and I used to live about 9 miles down a single track road so I'm well used to it.

And then I started to think about the difficulty of getting a babysitter: we like to go out with friends and to the theatre/cinemea. And the difficulty of getting to friends' houses for dinner, and them coming to us. And getting the children to and from school and to and from their activities. And for us going about our work. Ugh. It felt terribly depressing.

I think I've decided I prefer to live in town. I can think of no reason to live in the countryside (unless you derive your income from being there).

Does anyone else feel the same?

BitOut - that's exactly what I was going to post. Why on earth do people love remotely when they can't drive? I learnt to drive late so no criticism there but I always made sure I lived somewhere I could get around easily on foot or by public transport.

CityDweller I suppose the question to ask is why you are moving to the country? I agree that some of those programmes like Escape to the Country do seem to feature people who clearly have some misty eyed reason for thinking that they would be happier in the middle of no-where.

I've lived in a rural area for the last 17 years and truly love it helped a lot by my passion for horses, dogs, walking, gardening, open space and quiet. If you don't like any of that stuff I can see that you might struggle with finding things to occupy or interest you.

I drive around 20,000 miles a year and don't work (children are at school an hour round trip away), driving just becomes part of everyday life - I don't even think oh I need to drive half an hour to the cinema I just get in the car and drive there.

Strangely though I really love nice cities like Oxford, Cambridge wherever. I could take a flat if I had the money and spend a few days each month just eating out and visiting galleries, museums, parks etc.

Agree the suburbs are also my idea of hell.

I grew up in the countryside and you couldn't pay me to live there now!

I just detest driving, and the thought of having to get in the car every time I need anything is hugely off-putting. I'd gain weight from the lack of walking everywhere for a start.

There are lots of others reasons but at the end of the day it's horses for courses isn't it? At least you've realised before upping sticks :)

Yup, I feel the same. I grew up in the country too and I'd rather walk over hot coals than live there now. And yes, its beautiful in the summer, but in the middle of winter when the single track road is blocked by snow or a tractor, or perhaps covered with mud or slick as an ice rink because no one bothers to grit minor roads its a flipping nightmare. My parents still live out in the sticks and every time I go up to visit them and get stuck behind a sugar beet lorry or a tractor and my car gets covered in mud I think 'Thank fuck I don't live here!'

I'm with you. I like living in a well-connected area of town but walkable to countryside. And I do.

When I lived in the country we had plenty of babysitters and tons of walking on the doorstep (over fields - you tend to get a few of those in the countryside) and even proper roads. It was great!

We wouldn't want you anyway. Sounds like you'd use all our babysitters and be in the way of us bombing around in our 4x4s on our single track roads with your dogs and bikes.

Define 'countryside'

I grew up in a large, coastal village - well, more of splodge of two villages. It was great and is still great. It has a couple of shops, a butcher, 7 pubs, a OK bus service hourly, 20 minutes to one town, 40 mins to another.

I'd go back in a flash - work/money pending.

I currently live in a small city. It has lots of pluses. Its just enjoyable as living in the village - minus the sea.

However, I have lived in places which I have hated:

1. Shit souless towns, which managed to have a lot less happening than the village I grew up. OK, as you asked, it was Bracknell in the 90s. All the problems of a city but none of the benefits.

2. Pointless suburbia. House after house. Nothing to do at all. Fcking pointless.

3. Small, commuter village with no pub, no shops nothing! Nothing happening ever. It was like suburbia with cows and worse transport.

I would agree with you in regards to driving. We have to drive to the supermarket, drive the children to friends houses, drive to friends houses, drive into town for a night out. But then I spent hours coming home from friends houses or museums on crowded and slow buses with tired children (never again) or having to pay a fortune for a taxi after a night out or face sharing a bus with drunks and walk home alone in dark city streets (also never again).

My older children walk to school and only have to cross one bad road that has speed bumps. My older son and his friends meet up at the river at the weekends and fish and swim with their dogs. He couldn't do that in London, his only freedom was going to local parks that he had to share with hundreds of other people. He can now ride his bike to his friends houses and if they go the back way or off the roads they can go to a lot of places by avoiding cars. They can go into town (small town, more like a village) and have a pizza or burger and milkshake together and everyone knows them, I feel they are safe there. There's loads more.

As long as more people prefer city living I'm happy. It leaves the countryside free for those of us who really appreciate it.

I've just spent a few days with my DD in the city where she will be attending university from this autumn and, despite the convenience of the shopping, I wouldn't swap with her for the world. She's going to find the 24 hour daylight, noise, not knowing anyone you walk past, etc takes some getting used to. When she comes home, she'll probably miss the shops and her friends but I imagine there'll be things about home that she's missed too.

I love the fact that I can walk our dogs a different route across any number of fields every day in the proper peace and quiet you only get well away from major roads.

We have been snowed in a couple of times but we have a freezer and a generator and plenty of local teenagers happy to babysit or dog sit as required.

Anyway, please keep talking up the city. We don't want too many people out here bringing streetlights and pavements thanks.

YAtotallyNBU! The countryside is hideously inconvenient, has septic tanks, is pitch dark most nights and lacks people. The few people available have a high weirdness quotient. If you're ill you're buggered, as you'd have to drive to the hospital. You can't just pop out for milk or even to the pub.

Sure, I understand why people who prefer it, prefer it. But it is in no way unreasonable to want to live in an environment adapted to humans!

Garlick - Really because my house has mains drains, mains gas, faster broadband than we had in the city and a village shop (and station, hairdressers, pub, post office, vets, drs, dentist etc etc ) less than 5mins walk away. I can also have a gorgeous real fire(weirdly necessary this summer) in my fireplace without breaching the smoke control order. Yup really can't see why anyone could live in the countryside.
There are many degrees to countryside living and city living. For example I loved living in the city for years (green northern city) but I'd hate living in London. I grew up in an isolated rural village which I loved as a child, sometimes hated as a teenager and probably wouldn't return to as an adult but I've moved to a better connected village and I love the benefits it has.

I grew up in an isolated rural village which I loved as a child, sometimes hated as a teenager and probably wouldn't return to as an adult

Yes, and that's the kind of village I lived in when I left London. As you say, you probably wouldn't want to live there now. Residents of isolated rural villages would say you don't live in the proper countryside!

is pitch dark most nights and lacks people

Those are the very best bits!

a village shop (and station, hairdressers, pub, post office, vets, drs, dentist etc etc ) less than 5mins walk away.

That's not really rural living.

Staying at my dad's house in the countryside at the moment. So. Very. Bored.

The proper definition of countryside is "land not in towns, cities or industrial areas that is either used for farming or left in its natural state" which fits for our village even though it's got good facilities, I am currently surrounded by crops, I think it's wheat this year in the fields next to our garden.

The government uses an even broader definition for rural which they consider to be settlements under 10,000 people which we are very much comfortably under. I got told the definition when applying for funding from ACRE for a community project. So yes I don't live in the middle of nowhere but I do live in proper rural countryside.

I don't give a shit whether it's proper countryside or not, Wonky. The town I live in just scrapes over 10,000 souls, but at least it's got pavements and shops! Just pointing out that, with all your facilities, you've got a foot in both worlds and therefore not rural like the place you grew up in.

Derxa - I'm so sorry about your dad. Hard decision to have to make.

We moved to a brilliant small town in the commuter belt. I can see green hills from my house, but also walk to the station, shops, leisure centre and other amenities on pavements. We firmly stuck our fingers in our ears when agents tried to show us anywhere that wasn't walking distance to the station!

Thanks Foxtons I'm exhausted today worrying about him (very close to death) and the responsibility to do the right thing. I don't want to get rid of land since it's in my blood. Feeling a bit like Scarlett O'Hara !!
Sorry to derail thread but the country to me is all about land, agriculture and family.

Gosh I'm far from alone. Hello, fellow townies.

Why is it that people from the countryside are allowed to use pejorative language to describe towns and cities but townies aren't allowed to say we don't fancy living in the countryside without a load of abuse.

Tend to agree with you OP. It's inconvenient and exhausting relying on a car all the time.

My parents live in the countryside but not that remote and even that is getting too much for them now they are looking to move to a large village near us where they can walk to GP, library and shop.

We live in a small town but can be out in the countryside in about 5 mins. We can walk to work, school and everything else we need - we have a car but would hate to be totally dependent on it.

DB lives in the proverbial back of beyond - when we went to stay there EVERYTHING required getting in the bloody car!

However if I was limitlessly wealthy, didn't need to work, and could afford a chauffeur and car at my beck and call I would live as remotely as possible. I love everything about being remote, I even love the mud and the rain, I love the isolation, I love the network of footpaths, I love watching the seasons change. But I would also have to love living on my own and being divorced I suspect

Good question, OP!

Maybe it was just that countryside you didn't like - i know the sort you mean and i feel the same, lovely houses, wouldnt want to live there. On the outskirts on a naice little village with a village hall, pub and shop - perfick

I love dark nights and no people although I do like a few people to chat to out on dog walks or mooching to the post box. My village has a decent pub but that is it. No shop, dentist, vets, hairdressers etc agree that isn't really living in a rural area. Not far to get to the nearest place that does provide those services but requires a car. No big deal imo.

Alpha it speaks volumes when you say 'hello fellow townies' I don't think the countryside is for you and I really do mean that kindly.

Derxa so sorry for your situation how hard for you . Are you having to make all these decisions alone?

You get to love the land so much don't you.