We are lucky to have a local estate agency that prides itself on its flowery lifestyle descriptions - often written in clunky, awkward language littered with punctuation and spelling errors.
Fine examples include (as cut & pasted):
"Walk into the entrance of the number one building to be greeted by the only concierge service on offer in the area and you immediately get the feeling of prestige that the building emminates"
"The separate garage which is just around the corner is an absolute godsend. No late night missions to find a suitable parking space, and certainly no fear of waking up to a parking ticket! Simply pull up to your spacious garage and head back to the property, smug (
) in the knowledge that your car is both safe and secure"
"Weekends here will no doubt begin with a lovely fried breakfast. All the family sat around the table while the smell of eggs and bacon fill the house. What happens from here is up to you. Maybe a stroll along the seafront or an afternoon looking for all the hidden treasures in the local boutiques' s" Wanker.
"The moment you set your eyes on this semi detached house it evokes images of a bygone era. Visions of top hats and tails as well as walking canes and horse drawn carriages wouldn't be too far from what this property has seen"
"offering parking on a first come first serve basis..." Translation: good for those who enjoy a regular spat with the neighbours
......
Oh, the hours I have spent (in my quaint bijou but spacious and airy living space) enjoying this shite. 