Really, don't write your own description...

[MothershipG]

Bizarre description, obviously written by the owner of £8m house!

He can't make up his mind if he's writing in the first or third person.

Not my cup of tea but I imagine whoever buys it will change everything anyway.

Funny! Totally naff property!

Yes, drawers stuffed with biscuits, pasta and flour make it worth every penny of the asking price

Fraid this is done by these agents, bizarre isn't it?

Hey mate, meet my friend the "speech mark". You might find they help with your write up.

If it's his dream / ideal home, why is he leaving it?

Weird.
Those red chairs in the lobby are awful and purple carpets Blergh!
You could make a few changes and run it as a boutique hotel. It's big enough.

The house we bought was first marketed by Fine - absolutely hilarious brochure (they described it as 'high falutin''), cheesy quotes by the vendors etc etc. The vendors swtiched agents and sold it to us.

That house is awful - money can't buy taste and all that...

What a hideous place. Eww...

I love it .

Don't have £8m though....

I gave up reading halfway through

How many times do you need a "he said" quote to sell a house

Omg! Classic example of money not buying taste. The Silk Cut carpet does it for me. What a truly dreadful pompous description. I would sack the EA just based on that!

I feel like they've hired E L James to do the description as the writing is that poor.

They're only selling because their boys have grown up and the house needs a family...didn't you read that far?

What I don't understand if why with all that money you wouldn't build yourself a bit of ceiling height? The godawful decor is easily changed but why would you choose to live in a cave if you didn't have to? It's not like the heating bills will be an issue.

50 Shades of Poor Taste

Money cant buy you taste! Horrid house.

It's the text from the brochure but somehow they've lost the punctuation in the copy & paste, it's not so bad with punctuation.

Do you think they got a job lot of those bendy metal wall lights? They're everywhere!

The ceilings really do dominate most of the pictures, I'm not sure they show the property off as well as they could.

I do like the champagne by the jacuzzi touch!

Woah. I've been in classier nightclubs.

I think once you lost some of the more awful decor it might be quite a nice house. But mostly it looks like owners would rather live in Marbella.

That is a truly foul house.

I don't understand what's going on in pic 23. Do those bedrooms not have doors & are they 2 of the 7?
Rather like the walk in wardrobe though.
LOL at the silk cut carpet & accessories.

Can you actually get to the master bedroom wing from the rest of the house without going outside? It looks like it was designed for a warmer, drier climate than Buckinghamshire.

And those strange pole-things in the entrance hall look like they belong in a bank with a red cord strung between them.....

His wife, who is Swedish, likes lots of light. Unlike British wives who are happy to love in the dark.

It'll never sell.

Middleaged, it's a circular wall with two mirrors