Really, don't write your own description...

[MothershipG]

Bizarre description, obviously written by the owner of £8m house!

He can't make up his mind if he's writing in the first or third person.

Not my cup of tea but I imagine whoever buys it will change everything anyway.

Snort, so it is!

Not sure about the purple carpet

it's this snippet which makes me chuckle though one and is as bad as you can get for sawpping the 3rd to the 1st person imo

"The owner, a highly respected NHBC-approved builder, bought the house back in 2006, and renovated, extended and transformed it to create his ideal living space.
It had to meet my needs, as well as those of my wife, our four teenage sons and possibly their girlfriends, and our staff, he said. I was also running my business from home and it was growing quite rapidly at that time so I needed space for that too."

But i do like the jacuzzi and the gym. And loving the proper sized drinks bar which open out

The kitchen is nice too

If you go on the estate agents website you can read other entertaining awful descriptions of peoples homes for sale.
Agents like this should be fired immediately. There is one near us that for their more expensive properties they like to do more 'arty' photos. This generally means they look like they've been taken by someone who is seriously drunk.

What is the squiggly gold thing towards the right of Photo 6?

That place is ceiling-tastic.

"The house" lol

I can't read that any more. Where's the paragraphs ffs?

For that price I would expect to be able to read the blurb without a headache.

Gosh, the decor is gopping.

Money can't buy you taste, I'm spitefully pleased to note.

"The House" - so pretentious.

Pretty ugly apart from the kitchen which I quite like!

OMG. That is so vulgar you wouldn't shift it for £3 million in Wimbledon Village. Unless of course it was a development project to be knocked down and started again.

Pretty ugly apart from the kitchen which I quite like!

i thought they ere sell due to hs2 coming throw chu chu

Good God above, what a hideous house. I'm not sure I believe the wife is Swedish. Purple carpet? Seriously??

Spotlights are for illuminating a spot. They've made the mistake of making holes in all the ceilings and poking little lamps through so that each room will have 40 small bright patches.

Was that considered fashionable once?

"For those with satellite navigation the postcode is [...] "

Is satnav really that exclusive?

Also, there's a comma missing in that sentence.

All those little lamps (hole in ceiling ones) will cost a fortune to replace unless they are the LED ones that come with a 25yr guarantee

needs an interior designers touch.

Or maybe it needs to be bulldozed and a decent house built?

...and a wonderful hen enclosure worthy of 'Chicken Run'.

[wheeze]

Given the glorious sunlight in the photos, I would say it's been on the market a fair while.

Could almost run a tv series - "big fat gipsy houses"

Almost we've got lots of lights like that and all we've done is replace the bulbs with the LED ones. Looks nice and doesn't cost a fortune.
Unfortunately the rest of this house looks like an embodiment of the phrase "money can't buy taste". For me the unforgivable bit is the low ceilings in comparison to the room sizes it's totally skewed and makes them horrible which unfortunately unlike the decor can't really be changed.

Photo 20 ... How big is that rubber duck? Or is it a normal sized duck in a teeny tiny doll sized house?