Living in the middle of nowhere - rural idyll or dull as...

[Rhubarbgarden]

Back again. So we've written off the house in the perfect location with the pants garden, and the house with the great garden but next door to a pub. This next one is the wild card, so some views would be really helpful. We'd actually already written it off for location reasons - we ideally want to be in a nice village or town that is commutable to London; and this house is very rural. Ok it's not really the middle of nowhere, it's in Kent, so we're not talking remote moorland or anything, but it is a drive from the nearest village, which has precious little in it except a small convenience store, the local pub has a sign on the door saying 'no children', and the nearest town, Maidstone, isn't very appealing at first glance (sorry Maidstonians - happy to be proved wrong).

BUT, the house, the house... DH appears to have really fallen in love with it. He keeps comparing everywhere else to it. He is ridiculously picky and would really like to stay where we are in London and not have to commute, so for him to like somewhere so much has got to mean something. And now it's just been reduced, so he's back to scrolling through photos of it all the time.

So to stop rambling and ask my actual question, has anyone made the jump from London living to rural living, and did it work out? Are you bored? Are you blissed out feeding your chickens and tramping around in wellies? What's it like for kids? Did you grow up somewhere like this?

Actually what the hell I'll put the link on so you can get a flavour of why I think This House is worth considering something so different from what we thought we wanted.

Help

TBH if you have fallen for the house, that's probably the most important thing [voice of unreason]. Because the perfect house doesn't exist - loving it really matters.

Can you afford any help? Because it's a hell of a place to look after solo. Maybe you could let some of the land for grazing or something? [slightly clueless]

I didn't feel I needed liberating - I was very, very happy where I grew up, was distraught to leave it and still dream of it regularly, always happy dreams. I am glad that I knew the seasons as a child, knew at least a bit about trees, plants, animals and the rhythms of country life. It also set a pattern of loving houses too much - i can put down roots in a hotel room. But it really is a bit of a pain to have to be driven everywhere as a mid-teen. I really didn't have a social life at that time - much to my parents' disgust - not sure what they expected. Looking at the map, I think what makes this doable is the station so close by.

Oh that is a lovely house.

Don't worry about the teenagers, kids will make friends at school and then arrange sleepovers at he weekends.

My kids don't have any friends within walking distance so I do feel like a taxi sometimes but the upshot of that is that they aren't hanging around on street corners either!

Wouldn't worry about the lake, the house I grew up in opens right onto a pavement and an A road but we didn't get run over.

We'd get a team of builders and a project manager in to do the renovation while renting somewhere else. We renovated our current house so learnt a lot of lessons there. I'm under no illusions about the insanity of moving/renovating now with a toddler and new baby - I've bored everyone on that score on threads on here before! I wouldn't want a nanny/au pair really, I'm happy to do all the running around myself, but if I found I couldn't cope we could afford help.

The lake could easily be fenced for a few years, so the death trap angle could probably be solved (although it does nag at me).

TBH you can teach children NOT to do certain things - like go beyond a certain point in the garden without you. I wouldn't be that worried by the lake.

You'd save a fortune on your children's weddings - no venue hire needed for you.

OOh weddings - now theres an angle you could make some money on. Let them hire your gardens, put up a marquee, outside catering and not too much pressure on you! I think you can offer your property to events organisers or something similar and then you don't even have to do the organising - just pick up the pay cheque!

Lottie you are right about a house itself not being enough. If it was, we would just stay here without batting an eyelid, as we both love our current house. But the difference is that I have grown to actively hate this area and get depressed every time I walk out onto the high street. The drawbacks to the location of the Kent house are more about inconvenience, and I think I could live with them a lot more easily. But I may be kidding myself! DH is not normally impulsive - the very opposite in fact, especially with big financial decisions like this. That's what makes me sit up and think this house could be worth it.

Some more positive responses too . I have to say I grew up in a relatively rural location, albeit within a village, and as a teen it didn't bother me but I was a bit strange and rather boring.

What an amazing house. I would do the fence thing for peace of mind.

And then schools, are they far and are you happy with them?

Hah! DH made that point about saving money on dc's weddings (I think he's still vaguely traumatised by the cost of ours).

The local primary looks lovely, and then there are excellent free grammar schools in Kent, so it's a big tick on the schools front.

That's good.

I think your children will be happy, ok mid teens they can stay with friends. If your dh doesn't mind commuting he'll be happy. So it's really whether you will be happy living there. It's lovely, and can see how one would enjoy doing it up (and I am big fan of living in London.)

(Rhubarb - would you mind my picking your brains sometime re. renovations in this area? We're now looking at getting an architect in and doing an extension/renovations and am v keen for recommendations!)

Lottie of course! We should meet for coffee and get the dds together while we are at it.

The house is lovely.

But from a practical point of view, unless you have a large family, it is far too big. The maintenance will kill you. You will see it as a money pit, rather than a home.

It's only because we did it, thought we'd be fine as we are a really happy family unit, and had grown tired of London.

I still shiver when I think about my country experience.

Am much happier in a smallish city

You might love it. But rent first seriously as it could be one hell of an expensive mistake.

If you are not sure about the location, don't do it. You can change lots inside, but not where it is.

We moved to a rural area, but in mainland Europe. I love it, and think I could live in my rural retreat for a long, long time. But that is because I am a loner and need very little company, the weather is generally good and I can go for long walks and work in the garden, plus there is a lovely coffee shop within a 10 minute drive.

If you don't mind my being honest, I don't like the property in the link that much. The house looks lovely, but the land looks a bit flat. I think being on hill with land sloping away gives much more of a sense of openess. I know it sounds terribly trivial

If I were you, I would continue looking.

Also, are there neighbours within walking distance? For me it is important to have someone I can easily walk to for help in case of an emergency.

Sorry but it's not a young family home. With young children you need places to go, people to see, playdates, a library, Local shops, a primary school you can ideally walk to. It is best to live in a community, not in a stately home despite how large and impressive it appears.

With young children you need places to go, people to see, playdates, a library, Local shops, a primary school you can ideally walk to. It is best to live in a community, not in a stately home despite how large and impressive it appears.

I disagree. I live about 11 miles from the nearest village and therefore that far from the nearest shops, doctors, school, library, etc (in a little hamlet, so there are other residential properties - just no services) and my family love the space, freedom, our great neighbours (because everyone is so far apart that you don't get pissed off with each other ) and they still have loads of playdates and activities - it's just that I do often have to drive them there.

For me that's a price well worth paying for the peace and more relaxed lifestyle that living in a remote rural location affords us... I'd really hate to have to live somewhere busy again.

You will spend inordinate amounts of time and money refurbishing it and then maintaining it. If you have both time and money then it will be marvellous to love there. It is a very pretty house.

live there, not love there!!

Oh is it actually by a motorway, I didn't realise. I was joking when I said I'd live by the side of a motorway for that house .

I'd still move there though, it's gorgeous. With great schools nearby I'd definitely go for it.

I assume if you can afford to look at houses like that then you can afford to run and maintain them without too much concern, lucky you!

Just seen the price. By London standards it seems a lot for a million pounds. But it is close to a motorway, and in what looks like an ok part of Kent, but not very inspiring, iykswim.

Have you gone to visit at different times to hear the motorway, because the sound may vary depending on how the wind blows. Also, how is the weather in that part of Kent? The reason I ask because we do have a lot of variation in rainfall in a radius of 20 miles. Also, how is the soil? Is it heavy clay, or is a joy to work with?

The house looks well proportioned and lovely, the land looks less so. If it is very flat, I would check whether it gets waterlogged for part of the year.

Also, of you don't like the village or town closeby, are your going to be happy? You mentioned that you love your current location, but hate the high street. Could it be a similar situation here?

Finally, if you were a single mum, I.e., your DH was somehow out of the picture, is this the house, land and location you would choose for yourself?

The last point about dh being out of the picture, was just to see how much dh wants the property and it influencing you vs. you genuinely being in love with it. Not questioning your marriage

" it is a drive from the nearest village, which has precious little in it except a small convenience store, the local pub has a sign on the door saying 'no children', and the nearest town, Maidstone, isn't very appealing at first glance"

I don't know anything about Maidstone but those were the exact circumstances I grew up in. For a teenager it was hell. I was glad to go to boarding school. If there is no bus service and you have teenagers you will be their taxi.

Later in life me and DW lived in a village outside a town and it was OK as we had two regular bus services through the village and the town was 20 minutes away. However, our children were small then and we had to move to live in town before they went to secondary school as we knew it would be a nightmare getting them to school.

I really would not live in teh countryside, even once DCs have flown thw nest. Later in life that 'beautiful house' will turn into a prison if you are old, infirm and can no longer drive. There are so many old people trapped in villages still dependent on being able to drive when their eyesight and reaction times are failing. Rural idyll is just that - an idyll. It is not a reality.

We now live on the edge of a small city looking over open country but just 15 mins walk from shops/rail/bus station/cinema/restaurants. It is best of both worlds.