Is moving from primary to prep school worth it for Year 3?

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I am in the very privileged position of my DS's grandmother suddenly being able to pay private prep school fees from September. We had always anticipated he'd attend private secondary (I was a teacher and had seen first hand the difference in quality) but I have to say I could never understand why parents would pay for private primary.

My DS is now in year two and I am becoming more and more frustrated with the amount of screen time he watches (non-educational), the fact he still hasn't been given a reading book (week 4), the teachers never reply to emails and he's had hearing loss since reception but only this week do I hear from school asking how they could support him.

On the plus, He's doing really well at the school in his maths and phonics and loves it there. The class are lovely and he has a lovely best friend.

I have obviously brought up my frustrations with the school but to no avail.

Now that the option of a prep school is available I have been trying to work out if it is worth moving him.

AI suggests no. There is no data that children perform better at private schools when background is accounted for.

The school I visited today was absolutely wonderful. I couldn't fault it. However I still can't decide if a prep school is really worth the money in terms of what it brings to a child in the long-term and whether it is selfish of me to remove him from a school he likes and his group of school friends.

He does attend out of school activities and so would still see his village friends.

My husband and I believe that being a confident person is the most important thing in terms of being successful in life. Would a prep school improve confidence?

My DS, because of his hearing loss, also has indistinct speech, and we worry it will impact his confidence and he maybe doesn't get the opportunities to speak in public because of this.

I would really appreciate some advice!

If you have the money, I would say that y3 or y4 is the ideal time to move from state to private sector.

Y5 & 6 are very dull in state school for a bright child, as they spend far too much time being drilled on the basics for SATs and don't get much opportunity to have their capacity stretched, but by the time the child starts complaining it is more complicated to arrange the move at that stage, so I'd say go for it.

Equally years 5 and 6 can be dull at prep preparing for 11+ with regular testing. Given your ds additional needs the prep may suit him better, with less disruption and background noise in the classroom and communal settings, broader curriculum and smaller class sizes. However not all private schools are alike in the same way as state schools can vary,

Do you have any thoughts on which private secondary? If it is selective, you would need to ensure DS is prepared yourself if he stays where he is. A private school will likely prepare him for you. In terms of whether it is worth moving, it depends on the specific schools involved - does he get plenty of sport, drama, music, art? Are they led by specialists? Is he stretched when needed and supported when needed? What is the classroom atmosphere/focus like?

One of ours moved to private at Year 3 and one at Year 7. There were a lot more opportunities for the one that moved at Year 3 so they had a much more interesting experience, calmer environment, more focus on some soft skills, a lot more sport. Both are doing equally well at secondary so it may not have impacted the long term but we definitely considered it worth it.

Is your child thriving at primary so far? It is a bit worrying that the school are only in Y2 engaging with the question of how they can support him given his additional needs? What are the teachers saying at parents evening about how his hearing loss is or isn’t affecting him in class?

I wouldn’t worry about removing him from his friends if you are confident that this is best for his long term future. He will get over that fast at this age.

We sent DD1 to the local primary and went private for Year 7. She is very academic and so doing the 11+ was not an issue. She was bored for most of primary and not really stretched, but we did lots of enrichment outside school and she benefited from having local friends and a strong community in our area, and I think it was the right decision for her.

DD2 is in year 3 at the same state primary and I am much more worried about her. We are doing a lot of remedial work at home where she has learned the basics of letter formation and spelling wrong and because it wasn’t taken seriously at school it is now very ingrained. In a class of 30 with some children who have significant needs, a quiet and well behaved girl who is getting on with her work but making mistakes and learning things a bit wonky is under everyone’s radar. If money was no object I would move her so that she could get some individual attention and support (though she would be angry about it as she has a tight knit and lovely group of friends and socially she is very happy and enjoying school).

No. If you have a good state option absolutely not. Move at y7 either to a prep ir an all through…..this imo is when it becomes worth it. My DS had a girl in his class for 4 years who was partially deaf and she had lots of friends, did just as well in hee SATs as my DS. She had the option of private like my DS however her family sent her to state secondary. I’d say if they are happy leave them where they are because happiness is the key. You can move them to prep / private anytime if he becomes unhappy.

Children might not perform better at private schools, but they might enjoy it more.

I really wanted my children not to find primary school as boring as I did. My primary (which was a girls' private school) had no concept of stretch, as they thought we'd all be secretaries or teachers and wanted everyone to conveniently learn at the same pace.

My DD1 did find her state primary boring. There was so much drilling of English and Maths, with everything else sidelined. Year 6 was particularly poor as she was in a mixed year 5/6 class in year 5, so had covered everything then and year 6 was repetition and drilling for SATs.

We moved DD2 to an independent primary for year 5. Her experience was so much better. We primarily moved her so that she could progress straight through to the associated secondary. But she gained hugely from the move. She had a proper timetable with specialist teachers and facilities. She had to get used to moving around for her lessons, like at secondary school. No sats or 11+ so year 6 wasn't a miserable sats focused year. The standard of teaching for subjects like science, games, art and music was way higher. They still seemed to cover the Maths and English too. It has definitely made her transition to secondary school easier. She did have to leave friends, but, conveniently, her best friend from her old school was leaving at about the same time, so she knew it wouldn't have been the same.

IMO he is a very good candidate for private if he has some hearing issues. Smaller class size, more one on one time... I'd do it.

Yes my DS is doing very well according to the end of year report which said he was exceeding targets for maths and phonics. He absolutely adores his school and is resolute he will never leave. I'm not sure if I could use the word 'thriving' because I'm not sure what his true potential is. He is a typical boy in that he's laid back about work. Will do the minimum unless pushed. Topic homeworks are optional and he only did 1 out of three last year and I've just had to coerce him to do this terms one. I don't know if he'd ever feel bored because he's happy to daydream and as he says have 'relaxing time'. We have a parents evening coming up so I will see what they say. I'm not that impressed with his writing but I have nothing to compare it to. Last year his teacher said he was untidy...

As a teacher, I’ve always felt that going to a good primary school is actually more important than secondary. This doesn’t have to mean private vs state (as obviously some state are brilliant, some private are mediocre).
In primary school you build the foundations for learning so I wouldn’t hesitate to move to a better school in year 3 if you have the money. Don’t wait until year 7 when the gaps will be bigger.

We've always been at private schools but I would say its absolutely worth it. Depending on the prep you are looking at, typically the individualised education, sports, extra circs.

As harsh as it sounds from experience you can pick out the state educated children who went on to join private schools. But that being said it could just be the schools we have experience of and those individual children.

We think our son with hearing loss benefits massively from smaller class size and 121 attention of a prep school. They have done so much to support him even though he is significantly younger than year 2

Our financial situation changed last year and we found we were in the position to consider private schools for our DS1 for year 7. We looked at both state and secondary schools but found a private prep school we all loved.
Around halfway through the academic year we were told our DS3s state school class was going to merge the two year 2 classes of 18 into one class for year 3. We had concerns that the teaching had already been poor in year 2 with only 18 children so would not improve with double the class size so decided to also move DS3 when DS1 would also be starting.
DS3 had a strong friendship group in state primary and wasn’t very keen on moving schools at all but did enjoy the taster days and it helped that his sibling was also starting.
We’re only 4 weeks in but it is definitely the best decision we could have made for both our children. The communication is excellent and the experiences and opportunities both DS1and DS3 have had so far have been fabulous. We were told by DS3 year 2 teacher he was behind in his reading and writing but so far his current prep school teacher believes that he will easily catchup and he is getting lots of support with improving this (in a way which he learns best and is tailored to him) and we can see this improving already. We have always struggled to get DS3 to enjoy or want to read but since starting the prep school, the amazing library has changed all this and I was thrilled when DS3 wanted to go to our local bookshop to buy a couple of books in a series he had found in the prep library.
We may have been lucky with our prep school but all the children have been so so welcoming to DS1 and DS3 and both have made some lovely new friends.
Weve been told by DS3 teacher that year 3 is a good time to move to private school as it often involves moving from pre prep to prep which will be different routines and buildings so all the children in the class are getting used to the new environments.