Homework in reception?

[chamomilamila]

My DD is 4.5 and has just started Reception.

They give homework pretty much every day. Usually it’s writing one letter several times and reading a little book. The books are very short, maybe 10 words, and it’s all phonics stuff like Tim, sip, Dad, sad etc. The problem is that every single time we do homework it ends in tears. I think she is quite a perfectionist. If she doesn’t get something right straight away, she gets really upset. For example, she’ll sound out a word and get it wrong. S-I-P read as “sad”. I’ll say something along the lines of “almost - S I P read together is…?” or “Let’s try it again” and she immediately starts crying.

I’m also really not a teacher, I don’t have the talent or the skills. I have no idea how to teach a 4 year old to write properly or explain phonics without making things worse. She’s already at school for 6 or 7 hours. After school she wants to do her activities, play with friends, play with her sibling, or just come home, eat, chill out and spend some time with us.

I’m starting to wonder whether it’s actually worth the daily battle. I don’t want our time together to become me nagging her about homework and her getting upset. So what would you do? Would you just tell the school that you’re struggling with it? Do a small amount and stop if she gets upset? Or just not do it?

I’d really like to hear from parents who have / had children in Reception with homework, especially if you have a child who is a perfectionist or gets very upset when they make mistakes.

How much homework are your children getting and how do you deal with it without it becoming a daily battle?

My DS just started reception too and there has been no homework so far. That seems like madness! They've only learnt 9 letters so far. I believe they're going to start sending home a reading book on a Friday soon which sounds fine as we'll have a whole weekene to read it. Any other tasks have come across as very much optional and just suggestions for what we could do like practising blending words or watching a relevant story before they do it the following week. Do they make it seem compulsory? How is it communicated?

That sounds like what my dc got in reception (state school). 2 were fine but 1 cried at having to draw pictures (they had to write a letter and draw a picture of something beginning with that letter). Dd1 - perfectionist - hated it dd3 was mental and drew the most bizarre things… yellow puddle - A is for acid 🤷🏻‍♀️😆

I officially hate primary homework in infants outside of reading books with them. Something that makes your dc cry every night/week is not helpful.

My DS is in Year 1 now but in reception they did receive homework along with a phonics reading book and a reading for pleasure book.

DS was required to read the phonics book 4x in the week, we read the other book 2-3x in the week. Homework wise he was given the week to finish 3 sheets which compromised of letter sounds, short words, writing letters and some number activities. He usually completed it in one or two evenings, no more than 15 mins spent each time.

DS is a perfectionist and would also get upset if he did get something wrong. I don’t think we need to be teaching them at home, maybe more just reinforcing. If he did make a mistake we used to park that and move on and if I felt he was in the mood at the end of the homework, then it was ‘should we try this one again.’

As time went on the homework did get more challenging. I encouraged DS to make the ones he found tough but he then started to tick the ones he completed correctly and left an X near the ones he couldn’t and would come back to it himself. Did work out quite well in the end.

He still does get upset sometimes even now but we just say ‘it’s ok, we can try again.’ If he hasn’t realised his one or two mistakes, I ask him to spell it again because I couldn’t hear him or sometimes I leave it if I can see he’s tired, I’m sure, like you said, they are learning plenty at school already!

We had no reading books home until October half term of reception, and then no other homework until Y1 and then it’s only some optional maths sheets. It’s a marathon not a sprint and it’s the opposite of what you want to achieve if she hates reading/writing and is crying about it every night. Stop making her do it, read to her and let her follow along. Let her do some colouring to practice her pen skills without the pressure. Revisit the homework in a few months once she’s more settled at school, has a bit more stamina and has a better grasp of phonics.

My son was like this. After losing my patience with him one evening, I realised I’d lost my mind trying to force a tiny child to do homework. So we stopped doing it. We still did plenty of reading and activities but we made it fun. He’s now in year one and reads and writes really well and loves school. I’m so glad I didn’t force it on him well before he was ready.

That sounds like a lot for a child only just starting school life! At ours, the reception homework for the first half term is things like practising taking your jumper on and off yourself, and draw a picture of a new friend.

Put her in a state school. Homework for reception kids is ridiculous and needless pressure.

This is a great chance to help your child OP. Talk to her and explain it’s fine to get things wrong - it’s how we learn. Learning (and life in general) involves making mistakes and carrying on anyway. Praise her for her effort rather than for getting things right, correct her mistakes but move on quickly.
Do read with her every day though - it’s really important to her learning in all areas.

You don’t need to teach, you are just recapping.

I’d chat to the teacher. I understand reading at home is important but if your DD is getting upset, it’s not worth it. I’m very anti-homework in general but DS is/was a stickler for the rules so I’ve learnt to make my peace with it. As soon as they start getting stressed about it though, that’s where I draw the line. Most teachers are quite reasonable about it when they’re little in my experience.

Hi @chamomilamila (teacher here) It is common in some schools (state and private) to be practising the letter formations as they learn them in phonics.
If she is becoming a perfectionist try to praise the behaviour instead of the outcome i.e. 'good try', 'you tried really hard' rather than 'that 's' is perfect'.

If she is regularly struggling with the CVC words - then she may not be ready for those books, so speak with her teacher. You could segment the word as a way of supporting her e.g. you do s/i/p and let her blend to read 'sip'. Find out the scheme the school uses as they often have a parent section on the website with videos of someone saying the sounds so you can mirror that when talking to your DC.

Regarding the frequency of reading - don't bust a gut in reading every day. Perhaps try to do either a sheet or reading each day. I'm my experience, parents don't do it every single day.

It's only September, so gentling building up is fine. Hope that helps!

DD2 has just started reception at a prep and they haven't been given homework yet - I think it will start after half term. We had similar sheets and reading books with DD1 and it wasn't a problem, she loved reading. I know that some kids didn't do it and that was fine too, the teachers never insisted on it.

I don't think you need to be worried about being able to teach your dcs phonics etc. There are videos on youtube to show you the basics but your dc will have learned the sounds and formation in class.

I’m a teacher and have never heard of Reception homework other than reading but that is state school. I also have a DC who is a bit of a perfectionist. We do lots of ‘celebrating mistakes’. I’ll say ‘Yay you made a mistake! You’re learning something new.’ I’d probably persevere with the homework but set a timer. If it’s not done in 10mins that’s the end.

Most state schools will also have reading homework although many may not have started it yet.

the practising blending and reading will be an expectation at all schools by year 1 at the absolute latest.

so moving schools unlikely to help although it might buy you a few more months of no reading.

up to you if you do the homework though