What extra costs should we budget for with private primary school?

[Keyboardpacifist]

We're just starting to do the initial "can we afford independent school" for primary school and although I know all schools are different, I'm wondering if there were any costs that caught you out? Partially for our affordability calculations but also comparing schools. Some include things that others don't. Our list so far is:

• Fees
• Basic uniform (is everything specialist or no)
• Sports uniform
• Before school care
• After school care
• Music/drama lessons
• Lunch

What have I missed? We're not far enough away from any of the potential schools to use their bus route so no hidden costs there, just petrol.

I'm a big fan of separating money into pots too, we must have similar minds @Whosaysyoucanthaveitall 😅

Uniform is crazy expensive but I have also found more acceptability of using the second hand shop than I think there was at my state primary.

At our school trips have been included other than an optional ski trip for the year 6s.

Holiday childcare is pretty significant as is the need to manage extra holiday. You can benefit from cheaper holidays but only if you have one child or both children in private. I have one in each sector so don’t benefit from the longer holidays in that way.

@Keyboardpacifist My DDs prep
listed mucIc, drama, dance and sports coaching costs. All extras were listed so if your dc wanted to learn an instrument or dance, you could work it out. Had a chuckle at a blazer being £90. We paid that for DD in 2003!!! Our school had tea and clubs included in the fees and art materials, lunches, books etc. The big extra might be a skiing trip. Prep didn’t go abroad really but music, drama and dance added up.

Also consider the cost of fund raising events. Our prep has bigger events than our previous state school but I find it actually easier to only give what you can. This could be because we are in an overall low income area so quite a lot of families have grandparent assistance, scholarship or bursaries for fees.
When pricing uniform see what is compulsory as we also have branded school bags, sports bags, coats and sun hats etc. The bags also change from infants to juniors.

Secondary school kit was very expensive. Normal uniform then different kit for athletics, cricket, rugby etc plus different shoes. Very pricey when you think they are only doing said sport for a term and they grow quickly! School trips very pricey. DS was in the rugby team and went to South Africa and Canada, obs would have been devastated to miss out so went but it was ££££. He also went to France and other less expensive trips but still more than state school. His music fees were also higher than having a private tutor but it worked well as was within school hours and he had a few extra curriculum activities.

Thankfully we are done and dusted with school fees and the dreaded “extras”; it really does depend on the school (there ought to be a schedule of “normal” fees for costs per year - they tend to shoot up in secondary - and SEN and music etc.).

At DD’s school it was pretty much expected that nearly every kid took up an instrument in year 4 (class
music lessons had covered “strings” and “woodwind/brass” by then).

If it is a sporty school Juniors will be probably be doing 3+ sports during the year….. So you’ll need OPRO-fitted mouthguards (rugby and hockey), astro trainers, regular trainers/plimsols (whatever boys need for rugby and football) and an astonishing number of pairs of regular shoes until they stop growing. Then you will need swimming stuff and the various bags (usually logo’d) to accommodate it all.

Once you get onto sports tours and residentials you will probably have to shell out for hats and hoodies (makes the kids easy to spot) and sports tops and holdalls.

It was “normal” for everybody to pile into the secondhand shop after the first “kit out”. Equally blazers etc would last 2-3 years, starting off massive and being retired once the kid could barely move their arms!

Good luck

It really does depend on the school.

We’ve been through 2 different preps:

• one had before and after school care all included; the other chargeable
• food costs were incl in the fees at one, but not at the other
• both incl costs for smaller outings within the fees, but residential were charged extra (one school’s trips were a lot more than the other’s)
• Uniform - both similar in terms of amount of branded / specialist clothing, though one school had a couple of very specific very expensive items. One school’s 2nd hand shop was incredibly reasonable, the other took the piss a bit.
• more additional sports kit needed at one of the schools

Is there any way of speaking with a current parent at the school you are thinking of, to get an idea?

@TeaandHobnobs not really, but we've signed up to open days / tours for September so we can get confirmation on numbers.

Unfortunately only one school lists the music etc type costs, the rest are vague but do at least specify if lunch is included (usually yes). One specifies trips are included and the others don't mention them. Etc

My friends were in the can we cant we income bracket. They did privately educate, only had one child. The surprises were all the friends went to certain out of school expensive hobbies, that other parents were socialable but those invites were to very expensive places and kids always needed to be left at home which they found odd, as he got older, invites to holiday homes overseas, group holidays to £££ resorts too shocked them. The actual school costs were clearly set out including the whole class trips planned for each year, yes things went up(he left for university last year) but the school were upfront on their website including all uniform costs

We have a school trip every term - usually a day out somewhere but between £30-75 each. Residentials from year 3 and skiing from year 4

Blazers from reception.

Music lessons = ten per term usually and cost £40 a pop!

Definitely account for birthday parties - this was our biggest shock. Every child had a party 🤪 it also dominates your weekends which was unexpected as newbies!

Lots of play dates too - these aren’t especially expensive but snacks / lunch / dinner can add up especially if you are a little tight on the money front and have more than one kid!

I haven’t read the other replies …

exam fees (gcse / a level / Btec etc)
very expensive school trips
more expensive uniforms

If you are having to consider the extras I'd put back to secondary. A friend was telling me now Vat has been added and all the extras, their prep day school is working out at 60k per year for two children.

I'd pick state primary, lots of extra curriculars and private tutors. Put the money saved in a pot towards secondary.

Class collections for teachers end of year AND terms. That’s around 60-75 for us. Could be more.
Our class teacher was ill for a bit and a bouquet and treat was £90. Another teacher got married and we sent a wonderful gift too. The difference here is people are very happy to contribute to teachers because they actually know your child very well. You have a good relationship with the teachers.

People don’t ’bung a tenner and a bag of haribo’ as a gift. A proper gift is done. Many many parties.

lots and LOTS of charity collections at school. Our food bank drive is impressive- a mini store worth donated.

You form a community. People socialise a lot so expect to have days out with friends at a whim.

Theres private schools just because it can be private. Then there are selective private schools which are quite different and what I’ve described above as that’s where my dc are.

Same as ours. Expect to buy proper presents. And your child will also receive the same.

Same with having kids over dinner etc. we do takeout/treat often and seems like much the Norm.

Thank you for the reality check. It's all looking pretty comfy so far (nothing really major that tips the balance so far). I'm just the kind of person with a spreadsheet for a brain and I'm very cautious with finances 😂

DSs private school had a second hand uniform sale every term and once he was there we bought all his shirts, blazers and sports kit in those sales. DGDs school also has a sale and you can even by lacrosse and hockey sticks. By the way, he needed two sets of football kit as he played at the weekend as well. Also, we had to pay for some text books.

I also forgot to add in about socialising. We have termly nights out with food and drinks usually included in the cost. (Prep school)

It’s a nice way to get to know the other parents but it is quite costly once you add in drinks and babysitters etc. especially as we have two children so it’s two end of term socials each time.

we also have an annual PTA fundraiser - a summer ball with an auction, raffle, dinner etc. Tickets vary from £70-100 but again it’s the babysitter, taxi, drinks etc.

I enjoy these nights out as we are lucky and have a good bunch of parents.

Obviously you don’t have to do this but I kind of see it as quite important as these are the parents of your kids friends and I now spend quite a lot of time with them across various activities and in the holidays!

Valid points about socialising expectations and added costs there, thank you

@Keyboardpacifist the fees increase as you move from primary to secondary, can you afford to pay up until year 13 as kids will want to stay with their friends.

My 2 children go to state grammar and they have had trips to Canada and USA for £4k each on top of their curriculum trips. My H went private school since reception and he remembers a couple of Ski trips in primary and at least 4 at secondary. These cost £3-4k these days. In private school everyone expects that you can afford these trips, in state grammar it is not expected that everyone can go.

My SIL has just spent £2.5k on a 2 hour party at a very well known Toy Store in London for her DDs 6th birthday and her private school friends. This £2.5k does include an expensive party bag gift for each guest (which is expected from all the parties).

£2.5k spent in just 2 hours on 6 year olds, but I’m told it’s the done thing and they need to keep up with the Jones’ 🙄

That's the minority. A few parents have done that sort of thing at every private school my kids have attended - the rest of us just roll our eyes and do normal parties.

For example, the school I work at (GDST) includes these in the fees:

non residential school trips
lunches and break time snack
wrap around care 7:45am to 6pm

Extras
LAMDA and music lessons are around £20 a week
Residential trips
tickets to watch child in concerts etc can be around £10 per head
holiday club £40 per day

Thanks, yes I have the full details of fees for each school and have an adjusted cost for likely increases etc.

I think it really depends on the school and area - "there's private schools and private schools" sort of thing. Especially from your other comment it sounds like you are in a pricey area that we're not. I went to private school and there's just no way any of us across the entire year group would have had parties like that 😂 It was all pass the parcel and pizza.

Our school let you use the deposit for the year 5 and 6 expensive residential trips which helped with cash flow.

In our school, the year 4-6 ski trip costs £1900. Not inexpensive but much less than £4-4k. We’re in Surrey so not a cheap area either.

(just fyi)