Girls school recommendations in South for move back to UK

[NomadicNest]

Hi! I'm not completely sure if this is the right place to post or whether I should be in the housing category but hopefully this is ok.

We are facing a move back to the UK related to my husband's job after living overseas for all of our adult lives. I have some trauma related to living in the UK (which I am hoping to work through as much as possible) that is making me feel very apprehensive about the move back there, with our 2 daughters aged 9 and 8. We are moving from a place that I love, where we feel very settled, which is traditional, very safe, clean, convenient (a short walk to school, lots of amenities), has great weather and a very strong community around the school. I'm trying to find the best option I can for us in the UK, but I'm looking for advice because although British, the UK feels alien having never lived there as an adult.

My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.

I'm looking for a private school, with slight preference for girls only, which is academic and nurturing. We would love one where they could start now in prep school and continue in the same place. I'm not sure whether to consider Grammar Schools because one of our daughters has ADHD which can affect her performance and I would like both girls to go to the same school, so for now we are looking at private. I'd like a school with a high percentage of day pupils because I work from home and loneliness is a real concern for me, so I want to be sure that I can build community through the school with other parents living locally. We'd love to be able to find a house 250m sq plus with a decent sized garden close to the school but with access to a good high street with a budget of 1-1.5 (I'd like to renovate if at the lower end of budget). A great reformer pilates studio is a must for me (mental health) and a gym is a plus. Greenery locally and countryside for walks within a drive are a must. Safety and a sense of traditional community are really important to us.

We have been looking at Tunbridge Wells but not sure of good private school options for girls there, Benenden, Burgess Hill Girls, Cheltenham Ladies, Bath and Bristol, Roedean and Brighton College (possibly too intense). I liked the feel of Benenden from the website but wasn't sure if it would work with 90% of pupils being boarders. We aren't considering London.

We have to make this decision very quickly for work reasons and I'm trying to set myself up for success and a create a positive mindset around this potential move as much as possible for the sake of my family as well as myself. It would be great to be able to find a place and school to get excited about, rather than feeling fearful. Thank you so much for any advice on areas and schools, any suggestions much appreciated.

You could consider Sevenoaks and look at Walthamstow Hall which goes all the way through or The Granville up to 11 and then there are quite a few girls only schools in the area.

Also in Tunbridge Wells - Kent College is all through, although has boys in prep and taking boys in Senior from 2026. I don't have any experience of the school I''m afraid, hopefully someone will come along with insider knowledge.

Have a look at the Guildford area, there's Tormead and St Catherine's.

Thank you so much @cathcot , this is really helpful, I hadn't heard of either of these so have noted them down and will have a look through now, I will also have another look at SevenOaks which I had discounted as being possibly too urban and close to London but it sounds like it's worth a second look. Really appreciate your help - thank you.

I'd avoid Kent College - it's going mixed next year and rumours are they were struggling with numbers which was why this had to happen. Have heard issues with pastoral and SEN from parents too.

Benenden is very academic but also nurturing from what I have heard. If your kids can get in that would be a very expensive but worthwhile route to look at. They do have an entrance exam though and from memory girls need a CAT4 of 112+ to take it. This may have changed though so check their admin.

Also agree Sevenoaks has great options as pp said above with Wally Hall and Cobham. Sevenoaks is only 20mins from London by train and is one of the nicest places to live in the country with a more villiage-y feel than Tunbridge Wells which can be a bit rough around the edges.

Sadly there are no other all girls private schools in Kent, which is an increasing issue for parents as the choices become more limited seemingly every year.

You may want to consider a grammar - most parents we know who used to pay for private moved to be close to a grammar prior to VAT starting, which may be contributing to the lack of options for all girls.

Thank you @Sanenotsane , I'll take a look at Kent College, would be great if anyone has any details on the school. Many thanks for your reply xx

Thank you so much for this @SolarVie , do you mean Cobham Hall school? It looks as though it is co-ed, do you recommend the school? I am also open to co-ed options if there are some good ones! I didn't realise SevenOaks was more villagey than TW, so that its a great tip, I thought it was the other way around!

I'm happy to consider a Grammar, but the concern is both girls getting in, I don't want to create a divide between them. It's tricky because I feel like we are going to have to decide on an area and buy there and commit to it, before knowing whether they will pass 11 plus age tests to get into schools, I really don't want to buy in an area and then need to move again later because of schools if at all possible.

There are lots of good co-ed options in Sevenoaks. It's a very popular place to live for a whole host of reasons, one being that the schooling options are all great. I don't know how far your budget will go in Sevenoaks itself but have a look at Otford and other surrounding villages. There are also two private schools in Otford, St Michael's and Russell House both of which are co-ed but have good reputations locally.

@cathcot Thank you I will have a look at these now

Ah I hadn't seen that had also gone co-ed, sorry.

Downe House might be an option.
Over the boarder there are a few - East Sussex has Mayfield, Surrey has Woldingham for example. There aren't any single sex schools in Kent that aren't selective in the state sector.

Ignore Downe House, saw it on a map and assumed it was The Downe House school but that's Berkshire.

My honest response op is that you may have to lower your expectations a bit.

I went to 2 different private girls’ schools, and there is one near where I currently live. However:

They are all in areas considered less ‘safe’ than you may be comfortable with.

People are less likely to live near the private schools, especially within walking distance. No one lived near my schools, and we all lived in different areas to each other. So you may have a smaller chance at building a local community.

Cheltenham area has everything you want location wise, you could consider grammar school from there (the Gloucester grammars as well as Pates in Chelt) plus several private schools. Can confirm there's a reformer pilates studio, several gyms, reasonably decent high street and lots of people move to Cheltenham from elsewhere so easy to make new connections.
If your husband's office happens to be on Gloucester business park that's an easy commute from Leckhampton area (traffic terrible though but its only a few miles!)

I know Winchester is not on your location list but St. Swithun’s school might be worth exploring and maybe the location still works.

Hi OP
just for a different view…

If you are absolutely set on private then you could look at living in one of the nicer communities near Reading - the Abbey school is a really good girls’ day school. There are some nice towns near Reading and it is not a Grammar school area so aside from Kendrick there are some good comps (the Holt School in Wokingham is an Outstanding all-girls state comprehensive and has a good reputation - 5 girls went to Oxbridge this year as well as being supportive for SEN) .

You do also have the option of applying to Kendrick girls school (super selective) if you decide it’s okay to split the girls.

Public and school transport links are good so it shouldn’t be hard to reach Abbey, Kendrick or Holt school.

You could find somewhere near the Elizabeth line or get the train from Reading to London.

£1.5m will buy you about 2500 to 3000 sq foot (I can’t do sq m) and a decent sized garden in the Reading area if you are happy to live in a smaller town or village. It’s a nice, ethnically diverse area with some great parks and woodlands although houses are popping up everywhere. Be careful if you decide on a state school to check which catchment you’ll be in - the “B” catchment for Kendricks is huge and it makes getting into the school very difficult unless you are exceptionally strong academically.

Pipers Corner in Buckinghamshire. Live in Beaconsfield, Amersham or one of the villages. Great school community, very nurturing and gives the local grammar’s a run for their money. Loads of facilities. Both my daughters went and both moved to grammar at 6th form - one managed Oxbridge the other LSE.

Great location to take advantage of central London (fast overground from Beaconsfield 23 mins or Tube from Amersham) - also brilliantly placed for airports and getting around the rest of the UK by car (M40, M25 very close, M4 and M1not far).

Stunning countryside.

Stroud High school is grammar and all girls. Close to Gloucester and 1hr 25 mins into london.

You could also look at Marlow which is magical if your DH needs to work out of Reading. Although Reading is only 30min drive from Beaconsfield. Lots of Piper’s girls live in Marlow.

A cousin's daughter has just started at Shiplake College, which is also near Marlow. I don't know if it's single sex though; AFAIR, another friend's kids went there years ago, and they had boys and girls.

Berkhampstead School is the only private school that is integrated within the town to allow walking. Mixed prep, single sex secondary and then mixed again for 6th form. Lots of beautiful property walking distance of the town. Also school coaches to wide catchment area if you wanted to live elsewhere. Close to motorways and good service to London.

St Albans is a town with a similar set up - lots of private schools to choose from.

St Mary’s (girls) or SPF (mixed) in Cambridge fit your school criteria if your husband can work out of Haverhill? (Though 1.5m doesn’t go that far in south Cambridgeshire and the traffic into Cambridge is very congested.)

I'm not sure you are going to find much of a community - most parents with children at private schools have to work to afford the fees, and at secondary tend to be very hands off.

Lots of day children commute by train/bus rather than parents dropping off.

Also I would be careful about how rural you live - I have a teenager and the complaints about why we moved out of central London are endless. She loathes being in the countryside.... and to be fair I don't blame her. Nothing to do and way too much antisocial behaviour for me to be happy with her going out locally, so she just spends weekends going into London to see her friends.

I’d go out to Suffolk with an easy commute to Ipswich. Lots of great school choices around there and tonnes of house for the same money as someone like Kent.

I was just coming along to suggest Reading - there’s the Abbey, Queen Anne’s, Kendrick and also the possibility of Reading Blue Coats and Shiplake which are now co-ed.

Interestingly the prep my girls went to which historically sent most of their year to the Abbey predominantly chose other options (many Blue Coats) this year and none of the girls went to the Abbey, which is a first.

If you live in Twyford (one stop down the line from Reading) there’s a great community, country walks on the doorstep and loads of lovely countryside nearby. Also has a decent Waitrose, a small Tesco and lots of restaurants. Even a vineyard!

From Twyford there’s also the possibility of getting into Wycombe High (albeit it’s a slight trek to the nearest school bus) if you sit the Bucks 11•+.