Girls school recommendations in South for move back to UK

[NomadicNest]

Hi! I'm not completely sure if this is the right place to post or whether I should be in the housing category but hopefully this is ok.

We are facing a move back to the UK related to my husband's job after living overseas for all of our adult lives. I have some trauma related to living in the UK (which I am hoping to work through as much as possible) that is making me feel very apprehensive about the move back there, with our 2 daughters aged 9 and 8. We are moving from a place that I love, where we feel very settled, which is traditional, very safe, clean, convenient (a short walk to school, lots of amenities), has great weather and a very strong community around the school. I'm trying to find the best option I can for us in the UK, but I'm looking for advice because although British, the UK feels alien having never lived there as an adult.

My husband would need to be in London one day a week but the other days he could work from a regional office in Bristol, Tunbridge Wells, Gloucester, Bournemouth, Reading, Ipswich, Haverhill, Leicester (or even Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle) and even a day or two from home possibly.

I'm looking for a private school, with slight preference for girls only, which is academic and nurturing. We would love one where they could start now in prep school and continue in the same place. I'm not sure whether to consider Grammar Schools because one of our daughters has ADHD which can affect her performance and I would like both girls to go to the same school, so for now we are looking at private. I'd like a school with a high percentage of day pupils because I work from home and loneliness is a real concern for me, so I want to be sure that I can build community through the school with other parents living locally. We'd love to be able to find a house 250m sq plus with a decent sized garden close to the school but with access to a good high street with a budget of 1-1.5 (I'd like to renovate if at the lower end of budget). A great reformer pilates studio is a must for me (mental health) and a gym is a plus. Greenery locally and countryside for walks within a drive are a must. Safety and a sense of traditional community are really important to us.

We have been looking at Tunbridge Wells but not sure of good private school options for girls there, Benenden, Burgess Hill Girls, Cheltenham Ladies, Bath and Bristol, Roedean and Brighton College (possibly too intense). I liked the feel of Benenden from the website but wasn't sure if it would work with 90% of pupils being boarders. We aren't considering London.

We have to make this decision very quickly for work reasons and I'm trying to set myself up for success and a create a positive mindset around this potential move as much as possible for the sake of my family as well as myself. It would be great to be able to find a place and school to get excited about, rather than feeling fearful. Thank you so much for any advice on areas and schools, any suggestions much appreciated.

@Pinkmoonshine Thank you, this is good advice. We have some connections in Sussex and London but not a huge amount as we have been based abroad. I have been trying to think about my preferences but Im worried about coming across as spoilt or asking far too much if Im honest! The dream wishlist probably includes a pretty affluent area, safe, with a mix of great high end and highstreet shops and independents, an aesthetically appealing town and house, with a decent sized garden so we can renovate the house and grow a garden. Id love to have a community that's international, educated and liberal as we've been lucky enough to live in a lot of international capitals. I'm aware this sounds very demanding. We have ruled out London as we don't think we have the budget, especially as we probably need to factor in private schooling.

@Readyforslippers It sounds like 2 hours one way though? I dont think my husband is up for that...

Just based on the person who mentioned York.. we live in Newcastle and my husband and a fair few people we know commute to London once a week as there is a super fast minimal stop train so actually it is lots faster than a shorter commute further south. He works in the reginal office up here and then goes down most weeks.You would be able to get a large house in a very nice area for your budget and Jesmond, which is the area where most of the Private schools are is leafy well heeled pirates territory.... just an outlier for you!

Pilates...not pirates not that scary up north!

@clareykb Yes, I know Newcastle well and do really like it! I think it's too far for my husband but will spk to him further, not sure what pirates territory is though? Typo?

@clareykb Haha I see!

I also recommend Cheltenham, which is close to Bristol.

Through my work, I know UK independent schools very well, and Cheltenham Ladies' College is in a league above the vast majority of those mentioned. It is at the pricey end fees-wise, but the facilities and quality of teaching are exceptional. Pastoral care is exemplary. Lovely town centre location, beautiful buildings, with a very strong parent community for the day girls and boarders.

@NomadicNest I hope you find a school for both DDs that you are happy with - as well as your return to the UK. I wonder if your husband works for a global insurance company, given the locations - Tunbridge Wells does have a number of schools in the area that would fit your requirements. Anyway all the best to you.

St Albans!!!!!!

Ok. It fits everything you are looking for other than that!!

The issue with GDST is that it is often in an area where there are other schools which can cream off the top. eg my school once came top of the league tables but now the local boys private school that wasn't as good but had better facilities is co - ed so parents send their DDs there as music/sport etc is better. They aren't St Pauls GIrls or Wycombe Abbey or Cheltenham Ladies but they are decent schools where girls are happy and do well and are not the most expensive fees wise.

Coming back to this.. you could look at prep schools in area as kids only 7 and 9 . There is Dulwich Prep in Cranbrook or Saint Ronan's in Hawkhurst? Both would give you good school communities to start you off with people and then you can see how kids/ your schooling ideas develop over the next couple of years. You have lots of options at 11 both state and private, day and boarding. Houses will be more in line with your budget than T Wells. Issue with girls only education is that it is a declining field. Good luck

Look at the school of St Helen and st Katherine in Abingdon, Oxfordshire. Wonderful place. starts from yr 5. Live in any of the lovely villages around Abingdon down to didcot or towards oxford, your husband can work in the reading office. Excellent friendly community around the school and interesting parents because of proximity to oxford.

If your younger one needs somewhere for a year before starting, the manor prep literally next door is nurturing and happy. She could either move at year 5 or stay there for a couple more years and go to St Helen’s at year 7 as will many of her class. Don’t think you can do better frankly.

You will be hard pressed to avoid planes or motorways in Sussex.

It's coed but Ardingly was a good all rounder. Quite a few pupils went to a local prep first then came for secondary. I understand you want them at the same school but would the same school be right for them both.

@NomadicNest I can help narrow down the options for Tunbridge Wells/Sevenoaks schools - please PM me! You really need to decide on what type of school will suit your child and go from there. There are lots of options in this area, but they're not all right for every child. Catchments only apply for the Grammars or state options. There is so much to consider - send me a message and I will try to help you narrow a few options down!

Tunbridge Wells would likely be a good fit. Sacred Heart School in Wadhurst would be another to consider for the primary years. Mayfield Girls (East Sussex) is a 15 minute drive away and has many day girls. It’s a very happy and creative school that achieves fantastic results despite not being highly selective.

Definitely reccomend Woodbridge or villages to the North of Ipswich.

Amazing village primary schools in that area, fantastic quality of life, and some brilliant fee paying independent schools too.

You have Ipswich School in Ipswich proper, Woodbridge School (which I hear is really good), and Ipswich High School which I send my girls to which is south of Ipswich in a place called Woolverstone Hall. My girls really love it there but I know you can't really go wrong with any of the independent schools around here.

St Albans doesn't help your regional office point but does meet all your other criteria I think (albeit you'd be at the higher end of your housing budget). St Albans High for Girls is v good.

Not sure if you are sorted now but seems to be being added to. Can I suggest looking at Sidcot school Somerset who have a decent track record with children with some additional issues let’s say, my friends dd attends who has adhd and dyslexia but her other dd hasn’t and also suit well. There’s a direct train to London from Backwell station in the morning and Bristol is in easy reach of the places you could live and attend the school. Bristol itself has good private schools but you may find it too urban.

My cousins when they moved from India to England were lucky enough to go to Cheltenham Ladies College as their father got a job there. A friend of mine has just moved near Cheltenham from Bristol with her DH and toddler daughter presumably for good private schools (she’s a lawyer).

Id also recommend Cheltenham, if you live in one of the villages to the east your dh could get the train from kingham.

Rude question but how academic are your dcs? That makes a difference.

I second this. Woodbridge is a fabulous town, only 8 miles from Ipswich if your dh can work there, and there's a train station in Woodbridge.

Woodbridge School is excellent, as is Ipswich High School. They are both co-ed but very good pastoral care. IHS has the most fantastic grounds. One of my friends teaches there and says it's lovely.

My daughter went to Barfield just outside Farnham - Absolutely outstanding school then achieved a scholarship to Priors Field School (thank you Barfield) - Also absolutely outstanding - just outside Godalming. The two schools are about 20 minutes apart, both Godalming and Farnham have great rail links to London. There is loads of green space between but if you found a house just on the Farnham side of Godalming that could work well for school runs and travel to London (option of two lines). The main thing is both schools have incredible standards of care for their children and support them to become happy and confident. The drama and art at Priors Field is simply incredible.

St Catherines in Godalming? Has a prep and senior school (prep v well liked in particular) but would also be near Guildford High (if you had a super academic high flier) and Tormead if you wanted a different secondary options. If one of your dd was then insistent on coed down the line Charterhouse now taking girls too. Godalming is a lovely area with boutique shops but Guildford has main town amenities. Pretty villages nearby like Ripley etc