Comfortable income for family of 3 to afford private school for 1 child (mortgage 1282)

[Private2025]

Dh is set on sending our child to a private school. We live near an excellent state primary school and it is a faith school (we belong to that faith) but given the current political situation around gaza and antisemitism, we have some concerns (dont really want to get into it here). We are sending our son to the affiliated nursery so will see how it goes. The only schools better than this faith school are either CofE schools in places like Hampstead or prep schools.

We own a small 2 bed flat in London zone 3 bought in our 20s, mortgage 1282. Service charge 160, council tax 150, gas and electricity 85. Not planning to upgrade cos mortgage rates not likely to go down and what we can get for our money isn't much in London plus would prioritize school fees.

Planning only on one child (dh got a vasectomy). We have 4 more years till reception so would like to plan ahead.

If our combined nett income was 7400 to 8000 would that be enough for a 24k to 30k per annum school fees, assuming school fee inflation. We would also like overseas holidays twice a year but don't mind staying at Premier inn/ibis type hotels.

I don't want 2 kids and will be paying 2300 daycare after mat leave.

I think it's exactly because we have good state options ironically which causes us to consider private. Having good state options (which aren't just jewish cos jewish schools are oversubscribed too esp at secondary level and its lottery) means living in a very small radius which means we have to live in a small place and stay put. Which means we can consider private. And knowing its not the end of the world if he can't go to private secondary as dh had many classmates who came from private school backgrounds at jfs.

If we went for house over schooling we would be up to our eyeballs in mortgage debt and not able to consider anything.

If you did your state school research a few years ago when you bought your property I would take another look. Things have changed a lot.

Many CofE schools changed their entry terms a few years ago. You’d have to check the exact details but the one local to us went from 100% church and then on distance to only 50% reserved for church and the rest on distance. This has changed the school beyond recognition. And the falling birth rate and departures from London post covid have led to school closures which has changed catchment areas etc. It’s a very dynamic picture.

Our decision was not that dissimilar to yours (without the religious angle) and we decided to stay put and pay for private. I wanted to give you my honest reflections as you were asking about affordability. I would not make the same decision again. It’s difficult to imagine when you first have a baby how expensive children are in a city like London. Your money is not going to go far at all.

On the religious side you will know much more, but unless you are planning on a Jewish private school, I wouldn’t assume private schools are any better for Jewish students than (non Jewish) state schools.

@Private2025 i know it’s in Kingsbury now that’s why I said when it was in Camden 😂 I didn’t want to be too identifying for your thread. But fair enough, I think if you’re near a good state school and can’t comfortably afford private why go private, it’s not just the fees it’s all the hidden costs that come with it…

I monitor it every year. I look at the catchment every offer day.

Jewish primary schools generally do not have strict catchment (a jewish mumsnetter I know who lived in Borehamwood was considering a primary school in Kenton) but the one near me does (0.6 miles) as its very popular being the only progressive Jewish school in the UK plus the good results. The criteria is synagogue visits and getting the synagogue administrator to sign. student population is 100% Jewish...

Jewish secondary schools operate on faith based lottery (most jewish kids in the uk are fine with going to modern orthodox schools so will get into one of them, we aren't hence why we need to live near archer/fortismere as backup).

the headteacher at the Jewish primary school I was looking at gave us a breakdown of destinations- jcoss, jfs for the majority with a sizeable proportion going to archer and 30% going to independent schools.

Most Jewish mainstream schools are state (naima and kerem and immanuel are exceptions), I feel they perform well not because of the school itself but because the parents and kids are v motivated. That's just my personal opinion.

I do want a smaller nurturing school for my child hence my attraction to smaller prep schools. I guess if our salaries aren't enough, we need to push for promotion/higher salaries or wait until 7 plus.

I was thinking of putting my child in hendon prep for nursery, seeing if i like it and if the school isn't worth the money, then he can go state.

Smaller student to teacher ratios and I found on the whole the smaller preps I saw to be more nurturing. Re my local non jewish state school, a local childminder I was talking to said she also sent her child to brookland and she would allow him to skip school half the time because she believed that nothing the school taught him was of value, uk education is v easy etc etc and if the head challenged her on that she would go to war with him. She said there was nothing the head could do about her son's truancy, she would do as she liked.

London is mixed even in affluent areas (brookland is in hampstead garden suburb) so it's inevitable there would he students and parents like that..

I think what this thread has taught me that I need always to live within the catchment of good state schools (which for me means staying put unless I find something better) so there is always an insurance option if I need it.

Even if it's tempting to think that if you go private you can live in places without good state schools. You can't really.

OP, I have one child at school. He has a scholarship so fees are about £10k a year.

I saved three years fees before I enrolled DS, to protect against redundancy, unforseen expenses etc. I assumed 6% annual fee rise. I am also old enough that I could draw on my pension if I had really needed to.

ds is in the lower 6th now, so 6th year out of 7. My DS isn't interested in many chargeable activities and my extras bill is very low.

This year, DS' costs (above fees) are:
£1500 p.a. school bus.
£200 clothes
A'level field trip, £600
Calculator £120
Laptop £500

So £3,000 over & above the fees in a quiet year.

I would advise you to go state for primary and save up during that time if you want to go private for secondary. By the time your dc is 11 it will be more like 40k a year likely!

If the very high ranking state primary is not good enough I very much doubt you’ll like the Archer of Fortismere.

Realistically you should assume you’ll be going private for secondary too and plan financially on that basis.

True but I do still acknowledge that even though I don't think it's a great school compared to the prep I do think it's lucky I have it as an option. The kids are lovely and so are the parents and they are clearly v smart so my kid would have nice smart friends. Tbh I went to a selective school overseas and was also heavily tutored.

it wasn't my school that made the difference,my tuition in maths and science (my aunt was an excellent maths teacher and tutored me personally every week) was what enabled me to get into a RG university as well as being a prolific reader (I did v well in history, English, literature and languages due to being an extremely bookish child) so I got 42 out of 45 points in the IB.

My parents always bought me whatever book I wanted from a young age. But what I gained from my school were smart and nice friends who I still keep in contact with today though we live in different countries. I didn't have a great time at school though and I think I would have benefitted from a nurturing environment though in terms of results to IB level, I did decently and it wasn't because of the school.

I’m confused by people saying it’s tight .. it would be around 3k a month (on the basis of 30k a year fees + the £500/month additional that you said you were factoring in) with your mortgage and bills added that’s a total outgoings of £4600+ per month

So after school fees and household bills you have 2.7-3k disposable income. Most people would never have anywhere near that after bills, I think it’s absolutely doable.

Hmm . . . having a state option you wouldn’t realistically take up does mean you have to plan financially for paying fees at secondary though. I just wouldn’t kick that down the road.

The most important thing when choosing a school is that is the best fit for the child - not the best fit for the parents, not the best fit for the child you hope/expect them to be.

The best fit for the actual child. Their personality, their needs, their interests.

Your child is a baby. You don't yet know what their personality will be at school age, what their needs will be, what they'll like or hate.

Once you know those you'll know which school to choose.

Put the money away anyway, so it's there if you choose to spend it on fees, but I wouldn't make any judgements yet. Not least because in four years a lot can change in schools - a new head can completely change a culture for example, and, with a new inspection framework coming into play, there will be changes.

Most decent private options are selective at secondary level though. Surely there are prep school kids who don't get into into anything and surely the kind thing to do in that instance would be to send to a comprehensive (good one) and none of it would matter and he can start afresh. Even if I was a multi millionaire I would still choose to live in the catchment of a decent state school so my child knows he wouldn't be defined by an exam. After all it is an exam for 11 year olds.

Yes you’ll be fine. MN loves to tell you that unless you’re earning £500k you can’t afford private. It depends on your lifestyle. If keeping up with the Joneses is a priority and you drive expensive cars and holiday in opulence then you might want to crunch all the numbers. We have the same net as you, slightly higher mortgage and comfortably pay for one. Haven’t paid more than £400 a year in uniform as there’s an active second hand market in uniform. Trips are optional and not too expensive. Lunches are optional - packed lunches fine. We live a normal life. We didn’t move DS until upper primary and DD will move for secondary. We’d have struggled to put both through primary and secondary.

You honestly have no need to go private for primary.

You have an unhealthy obsessions with this @Private2025 . Looking at catchment offers every day when your child is 1 year old is bonkers!

If you do decide to go with a private prep and don’t like it (I assume by that you mean that it doesn’t suit your dc) then you can’t assume that you can simply get a place in the state school of your choice. If there are no spaces then they won’t just make space and welcome you with open arms!

We have always bought private school uniform second hand for a fraction of the new price* *

Well no I wouldn't say that. I would plan it in terms of school stages for example after prep and he doesn't get into the private secondary or it's not sustainable he can go to state probably the state faith school with archer as backup.

My ex neighbour tried to move for the last 10 years (and he has a house not a flat too in zone 3)! Lots of equity, lovely house, priced cheaply for nw london but just bad luck.

My mother in law too couldn't move for 7 years in the 90s and had 3 children in a 1 bed flat. Dh was actually sent to an ultra orthodox jewish school with no English or maths education because in his time there were limited spaces in the local state jewish primary school (though part of that was also his mum's eccentricity) and they probably did operate based on distance in those days too. She did tell me she tried to apply for the local school but they didn't accept him. To this day she doesn't believe in planning for schooling and laughs at people who do because ' it would all work out'.

He only received secular education when he went to jfs and spent years playing catch up (and was also v traumatised as were his sisters) which is why he is determined to do the opposite for our son..

So planning for 1 child and buying in terms of school catchment well in advance and checking if it still somewhat applied helped reassure me our 2 bed flat was still good to live in. I looked at it every year since 2019. Not everyday lol.

I feel sorry for your child, who it seems will be expected to excel at school, such high expectations, on a literal baby.

Nope I am mostly looking at non selective preps (though with good 11 plus prep given almost all private secondary are selectives). Including schools like dallington which are montessori based and I guess would be good for a SEN child. I will look at selective preps if child is so inclined.

In a sense the non selective prep is probably less stressful than the state school I would choose if we didnt go private. The head teacher (of my local state faith) at the tour said she had high expectations and children expected to excel. Even if they don't prep for 11 plus that state school seemed more like a hothouse with focus on a v narrow range of subjects to achieve the best results (hence why top 15 in the country). Indeed 30% of them did go off to independent school with the rest going to faith school (and based on dh's Alma mater majority will go onto RG)..

If I was just looking a academic results I would go state and not private because that's the main thing my local state focuses on. Private schools have to offer a bit more to justify the fees.

This is so true, by all means have opinions based on what you like and what youve heard, but until your child has developed is own self, you cant know which school will be best for them.Maybe they will be a piano virtuoso, love rugby, hate contact sports, be dyslexic ..... not all schools are for all people.