Comfortable income for family of 3 to afford private school for 1 child (mortgage 1282)

[Private2025]

Dh is set on sending our child to a private school. We live near an excellent state primary school and it is a faith school (we belong to that faith) but given the current political situation around gaza and antisemitism, we have some concerns (dont really want to get into it here). We are sending our son to the affiliated nursery so will see how it goes. The only schools better than this faith school are either CofE schools in places like Hampstead or prep schools.

We own a small 2 bed flat in London zone 3 bought in our 20s, mortgage 1282. Service charge 160, council tax 150, gas and electricity 85. Not planning to upgrade cos mortgage rates not likely to go down and what we can get for our money isn't much in London plus would prioritize school fees.

Planning only on one child (dh got a vasectomy). We have 4 more years till reception so would like to plan ahead.

If our combined nett income was 7400 to 8000 would that be enough for a 24k to 30k per annum school fees, assuming school fee inflation. We would also like overseas holidays twice a year but don't mind staying at Premier inn/ibis type hotels.

You are focussing too much on income - look at your outgoings as changes to those are more within your control

We don't have a car and we will stay in our flat. The mortgage is fairly small for london. We bought a flat when on 75k combined and we didn't have pay increases for 2 years and lived quite well though admittedly just a couple then.

A north London private school will not be nurturing they are hardcore and for the most part the parents have a LOT of money. Fees are going up hugely each year and honestly, it’s not worth it when there are really good state schools where you are, many of which are of no faith. I wouldn;t even consider it and unless you’re prepared to put your child through ridiculously intense tutoring from year 3 you’re not going to be going down the grammar route for QEB. I’ve been through state, private and the same faith as you’re talking about and from your previous posts I know which faith school you are referring to. In the nicest possible way, you’d need to have your head examined to not take a place there. It’s a lovely school, it’s politically balanced, it’s academically great and there are nice kids. DOn’t waste your money

I agree with others who have said that it’s tight. I’m a teacher at a private school, and our fees just keep rising every year faster than wages are growing. You should consider the actual amount that you’ll have to pay in 5 years time when your DC starts, all the way to 15 years time when they’re at the end of their schooling.

I think you’ll have to up your income, and seriously consider that you won’t be able to travel, eat out etc. You will live a very frugal life to make this happen.

Also, as others have said, don’t underestimate the additional costs. My 2 DC will attend my school from this coming school year with no tuition fees. However, the extra costs are coming out to be sooooo expensive. Some compulsory, some ‘optional’ but your kid is an outcast if they don’t do them. Youll probably have to increase that £500/month number. The most recent addition for us has been the ‘non-compulsory but every student does it’ STEAM and robotics programme, at £2000 per year, per child. Plus uniforms, trips, camps, sports… I’ve drawn the line at the stupidly expensive, fancy, catered hot meal, and my DC will take a packed lunch, like all the other ‘poor kids’.

A wise colleague who has her DC at the school on the same arrangement as me, told me that she is really struggling to keep up with the other families. Her DC are now teenagers, and the difference in means between her DC and the other kids is really apparent. My school has many families with serious money, and students with lesser means, e.g. scholarship students, school leadership’s kids, or even those on corporate fees, stick out like a sore thumb. Bear this in mind when you make these decisions.

state primary I would choose would want them to go to the secondary school in the same faith

The parents choose secondary for their child
Not the school

If you want to pay a large proportion of your income on school fees it is your choice

I agree with this. Take £2500 out of your income every month and put it into a savings account. It’ll soon become clear whether taking that amount each month from your disposable income leaves things feeling tight or not.

If nursery costs are £2300/month to start with add a couple of hundred to the savings account and keep increasing it as you begin to get free hours. If you go private this becomes your safety buffer in case circumstances change.

Worst case scenario you decide against private school and have a nice amount in savings.

And I would factor in at least another £1000/year in extras. Uniform can easily cost £500. Lunches, trips, music lessons, bus fares can be significant - even in junior school.

You absolutely do not need to go private for primary especially if you are by one of the best state schools.

Also, OP, a rough calculation if you invested the £2500 over the next 15 years, instead of spending it on private school, amounts to approx £750,000.

It’s worth asking yourself the question: Why am I spending this money? What am I hoping for my DC to get out of the private school experience? Could I not spend, e.g. £250,000 of that money on extra curriculars/clubs/tutors/etc., and then give my DC £500,000 as a house deposit?

then I realized that the state primary I would choose would want them to go to the secondary school in the same faith

What has the state primary got to do with secondary school choices YOU make for your own child?!

Wouldn't it be quite hard to persuade a child that he needs to go to x school if all the friends are going to end up in this faith school cos what the parents prioritize is a faith based education.

Not at all
So many children go to different secondary schools - private and state, religious and not. Some move house also. Such worries when your child is only a baby. I think it my children's classes of 30 at primary I can count at least 10 different schools that they went on to.
Don't worry.

I think you can do that no problem.

I would use the state school until the end of y2 at the earliest, or possibly up to the end of y4 if it's going ok. Honestly your child is not going to be harmed by learning the basics of reading & writing in your state faith school and will remember very little of those years. Put the fees budget into savings in those years and you will manage the rest of the schooling years much more comfortably with drawing down a fraction of those savings each year

Realistically, there are hundreds of thousands of families, if not millions, who manage to make ends meet with a total household income of £30,000pa so yes of course it's possible to pay £30,000pa in school fees out of a net income of £88,000 (£7400 per month) and be perfectly comfortable on the remainder. You won't be the richest but you certainly won't be the poorest. You'll be fine if you manage your expectations.

Why are you viewing scjools 4 years before he’s due to start. It could have closed by then?!

Honestly? I’d move.

I know the schools and the areas you are writing about and they are lovely many of the schools you’ve referenced are great.

but the absolute madness and tutoring and whole culture around school admissions is toxic- as evidenced by you worrying about secondary fees whilst you are on maternity

If that’s per year, £500 can’t even pay for the extras nice to haves in a state school in a leafy suburb.

Per month.

Even if nothing works out financially, I can still send my ds to a school which is in the top 10 to 15 non selective state schools in the country. I don't think there are many schools in the country that are better than that.

My dh's mum couldn't even afford his bus fare and my dh cycled to school at age 11. She couldn't even afford his school meals but he went to that faith school and then went to a RG university.. i wouldnt send to that exact school but the school i am sending is similar albeit more progressive. There isn't a catchment at secondary level but you do have to stay in a certain area as there are coaches and buses. I live in the correct area for that

I was thinking of that but isn't 7 plus more competitive.

@Private2025 what I would say from a mum that has sent her kids both to private and state, with private schools everything is a premium. And everything is on top. I have never received a bill with solely the fees. Hasn’t happened and don’t think it will. And also you need to think about factoring tuition if your son is academic and has then high expectations.

Private school isn’t going to solve your worries where you live.

You also don’t have enough income to buy the luxury of not going through the stress of entrance exams at 7+ or later. That’s without the worry of one of you losing your job, illness, any other unforeseen issues with your baby (who knows what educational needs he may have).

The fact you’re having to ask the question, and are indeed asking it the way you are, suggests that you only have hearsay and local third party knowledge. Do the research yourself. Visit the schools, speak to the teachers and administrators. You’ll stand a better chance of finding the right school for your particular school. And do your maths assuming the absolute worse in terms of income and outgoings. If nothing else recent history has shown many people that their forecasts weren’t stressed enough.

I am assuming the absolute worst. I have visited 3 schools and the last school did convince me. Previously for a long time, I was 100% on state school until 7 or 11 or even beyond and chose where I lived on the basis.

The 7400 to 8000 is nett income.

I used to live round that area and I suspect I'm the same faith group. The state primaries do a very nice job. Yes there's a bit of cultural insulation, but the alternatives have their own issues.

If you start with private primary it will likely set them on the competitive treadmill. They will be aiming for the more elite schools. We couldn't have afforded that, but I wouldn't have wanted it, and at this age you really don't know if DC will be suited to it.

Honestly OP, you could have a net income of £20k per month and a mortgage of £500 and half of MN would still tell you it’s too “tight” for private school. Based on your income and the outgoings as you’ve described them, it’s very doable for one child.

Just to flag, you’d be lucky to send him to a grammar unless you move out of London.

Your North London options are QEB and Latymer and even for exceptional children they’re very difficult to get into.

I’d probably assume you’ll stay on the private path until Woodhouse and yes I think you could afford it. Personally I doubt it’s worth it for primary though given you’re not wealthy.