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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Rough school - does it matter

90 replies

Feelingsensitive · 04/07/2010 14:49

This follows on from a post last week so excuse slight repetition but I feel I have fine tuned my thoughts a bit now. DD is currently as a school we are happy with (nursery) in every sense (good results but not results driven, nice grounds) except its in a rough area. I dont have much in common with the other mums but DD seems happy and has made some lovely friends. We have now been offered another school in a 'better' area. Lots of boden and cup cakes going on IYKWIM. However, the grounds are nothing compared to the current school. It has excellent results which I imagine is due to them being more results driven.

I feel uncomfortable with the rough element of DDs school but I question whether thats my problem and in actual fact it doesnt matter?

Any thoughts.

I like to think I am somehere in the middle - not scummy or yummy. Quite obviously a snob though

OP posts:

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usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 17:23

You don't want to mix with the poor people do you ....

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:24

I don't live on a council estate but I grew up on one and have lived in supposedly 'rough' inner London areas most of my life. I refuse to believe that anyone who happens to be in public housing is 'rough'. To me, it is just gross snobbery.

Maybe because I'm a Londoner , but I like living among and socialising with all sorts of people. I am glad that my DC have friends from all sorts of walks of life.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 04/07/2010 17:26

It doesn't matter what area a school can be in, you still run the risk of little 'Johhny' being bullied like there's no tomorrow. It's irrelevant whether the area isn't as well off as you would wish, those in poorer areas often have additional funding IIRC (this used to really annoy the middle class head of ds's first school).

Ds's lovely private secondary is in an area frequented with prostitutes, there's an electronic gate and a security guard, it doesn't mean it's a crap school though.

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 17:26

I'm glad my children grew up with all cultures ,some asian,some rough kids and even some from the big houses

Runoutofideas · 04/07/2010 17:33

I think the attitude of the parents towards education at each school would make the difference for me. If school 1 has plenty of children from families who care that their children turn up to school having had breakfast and a decent night's sleep, and the children have generally good behaviour then I would leave her where she is. If swearing and unpleasant behaviour is commonplace in the homes of most of the children, and the parents don't appear to care whether their children are happy and progressing in school then I would avoid it.
Similarly if school 2 seems to be full of mainly well behaved, polite, happy children and you feel your child (and you) would fit in better then go for it. If the children seem hot-housed and pressured then avoid it. I don't think it has to be a "rough" vs "posh" thing really...

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:38

Sort of agree@Runoutofideas - but poorer areas do tend to have more children with behavioural issues / SEN. Doesn't make them worse schools, or mean that their parents don't care about them.

taffetacatski · 04/07/2010 17:39

agree with runoutofideas - for me its parental interest and care that are important beyond what the school does

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 18:29

Well, the school where we were zoned for had plenty of swearing and arguing at the gates, I know because I used to pass them on my way to work every day. And the secondary school had a dire pass rate for standards, and only about 4% of pupils achieving 3 or more highers.

So, yeah, we moved.

I just dare anyone who thinks that makes me a snob to come and check out this place.

I grew up in a huge city with many, many ethnicities, cultures, religions, etc.

So what?

Tolerant people come from all walks of life, it's not the exclusive domain of people who come from large cities.

ra29needsabettername · 04/07/2010 18:41

ReasonableDoubt I like you.

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 18:52

Why, thank you .

fluffles · 04/07/2010 18:57

i went to a very caring and aspirational catholic school which drew from a lot of 'rough' areas - but being a catholic school it had a huge catchment area which included 'nice' areas too. it was a good mix and good for everyone to mix with such different families.

however, some schools are limited by the aspirations of the families that it caters for.

those who say they don't know what a 'rough area' is are being disingenuous - everybody knows when an area feels 'rough'.

however, if the OPs daughter is in the school then they must live in catchment so do they live in this 'rough' area? or not? do all the kids live in the 'rough' area? or is it mixed.

personally i'd send my kids to a mixed intake school (would prefer that to a very homogeneous intake) but i wouldn't send them to a school where their home life and our aspirations (for eg. the possiblity of university) would be very different from everybody else and where they'd really stick out as odd-one-out.

blinks · 04/07/2010 19:41

i totally agree with fluffles- all this 'what does "rough" mean?' shite-

what do you think it means for gods sake.

why so obsessed with defining it?

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 19:45

Rough = council estate on MN

hth

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 20:20

Yep, I concur with Usualsuspect.

Council Estate is a Bad Thing on MN

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 20:26

Well, yeah, on MN I guess.

I was just putting it all in the context of a place with shite results, people who argue and swear and bring fucking dogs, which I hate, to the gates .

All that other shite like tatts just sort of flies over my head because I'm foreign.

I like trackie bottoms because they're comfortable and don't get soaked as easily.

But I don't like the jacket part cuz they are overpriced.

southeastastra · 04/07/2010 20:30

in my day all the poshos went to school with the 'rough' kids it worked shock horror - mn is so right on in all other areas in life yet encourage segregation for children. it's crackers.

cory · 04/07/2010 20:38

a couple of points:

a) a rough area does not = a rough school

(some schools in rough areas are positively inspirational and immaculate on behaviour because they have strong headteachers and engaged staff)

b) rough clothes do not = rough behaviour

(plenty of tracksuit bottoms round this way, and some swearing as part of parental every day language, but parents tend to insist on kindliness towards other people and hard work (plenty of swearing on MN when it comes to that, and I've still met some kindly people on here)

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 20:40

I went to school in a mixed area and lived in one of the 'big houses'.
My parents moved to get us into that school, as it was great.
My brother used to take the piss out of me for being friends with 'council estate kids'

It didn't ocur to me to choose friends based on where they lived, and I was allowed to have anyone back to the house.

My brother is still a stuck up snob, Tory through and through and didn't invite me to his wedding last year as he'd die if his friends knew his sister was a single parent on benefits.

I don't see him often but he does cat's bum face at my job now. I'm a cleaner.

MollieO · 04/07/2010 20:49

Doesn't it depend on the teachers? I looked at our local state primary for ds. Catchment area is a mix of council and private houses (some very expensive). I discounted it because I didn't like the head - she didn't like dcs who came from my ds's nursery and was against the 11+ (we are in catchment for that but out of county). That and the poor teaching was enough for me to chose an alternative.

As for rough clothes I see more tracksuits at ds's private school than I do at the local state school .

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 20:49

He's lucky he sees you at all. You're a bigger person than I am, because if my brother did that (didn't invite his own sister to his wedding out of 'shame' she's on benefits) I wouldn't pee on him if he were on fire, much less see him.

bathtime · 04/07/2010 20:49

what runoutofideas said!! spot on!

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 20:51

Yeah, we were living in a more exclusive area before DD1 started school, and the headteacher was a cow. The P1-P3 teacher (composite class) was a straight up bitch.

We moved into here because of the school.

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 20:53

I'm so glad we don't have the 11+ system where I live

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 21:01

I only see him because of my Dad Expat.

He doesn't come here often (he lives in London), so it's a couple of hours for lunch and that's it.

I don't like him at all.
My Dad is 85, and though he's a pain too, I do what I can for him.
He was in hospital last year, I spent all my savings (£150 which is a lot to me) visiting, my brother earns a six figure salary (works for Earnst and Young) and took 6 months to visit.

Oh he's a knobber.

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 21:04

I hope you've told him he's a prick and the only reason you see him is because of your dad and that after he dies, you hope to never have the misfortune of clapping eyes on him again .

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