Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Rough school - does it matter

90 replies

Feelingsensitive · 04/07/2010 14:49

This follows on from a post last week so excuse slight repetition but I feel I have fine tuned my thoughts a bit now. DD is currently as a school we are happy with (nursery) in every sense (good results but not results driven, nice grounds) except its in a rough area. I dont have much in common with the other mums but DD seems happy and has made some lovely friends. We have now been offered another school in a 'better' area. Lots of boden and cup cakes going on IYKWIM. However, the grounds are nothing compared to the current school. It has excellent results which I imagine is due to them being more results driven.

I feel uncomfortable with the rough element of DDs school but I question whether thats my problem and in actual fact it doesnt matter?

Any thoughts.

I like to think I am somehere in the middle - not scummy or yummy. Quite obviously a snob though

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

HappyMummyOfOne · 04/07/2010 16:45

Swearing, arguing and dogs around the playground would definately put me off. I dont like swearing around children.

Like Expat, if you have more in common with parents from the other school then it may mean you become more involved with the school/pta which is great.

If I had to choose between better results or nicer outdoors then results would win every time. Plenty of time outside school to visit parks etc.

overmydeadbody · 04/07/2010 16:50

Personally, I wouldn't send my DS ot a school that I considered to be rough. But I am a snob.

Children like to fit in. They don't like being different. They don't like their parents being different form all the other parents. So I would rather my DS went to a school I felt he fit in to, rather than go to a rough school where he felt he needed to change to fit in.

overmydeadbody · 04/07/2010 16:52

and, as a teacher, I have taught in enough rough schools to know I don't want my DS going to one.

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 16:53

That's a massively sweeping statement @overmydeadbody

In my experience, children are incredibly flexible and will accept and get along with anyone and everyone...as long as they have good role models in their parents.

overmydeadbody · 04/07/2010 16:58

In my experience, children are incredibly flexible and will accept and get along with anyone and everyone...as long as they have good role models in their parents.

I agree with that, hence why I wouldn't want my DS at a rough school.

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:00

I don't think you've understood my point

Do you only let your children mix with other middle class children from 'naice' homes? Do you only ix with the Bodenites?

God, I am glad I live in London sometimes.

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 17:02

I'll stick my neck out, I wouldn't want my kids at a rough school.

Part of why we moved out of the city we were living in is because we couldn't afford to rent but in areas where the schools were rough (and not even cheap rents!).

I don't have anything in common with people who swear, argue, drink to excess, etc.

And I abhor dogs .

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 17:03

I swear on here, and once the kids are in bed. But they don't hear it off us.

Don't live in London, either, and would never want to.

Horses for courses.

I see nothing offensive in the OP's opinion.

She perceives the parents to be rough/chav/ned/whatever, she doesn't want her kid to go there, fair enough: send 'em someplace else.

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 17:04

Oh I have a Boden top, it goes nicely with mu PB trainers!

(it doesn't really, but I do own both things)

overmydeadbody · 04/07/2010 17:05

No reasonabledoubt, of course not.

I'd just rahter he went to a school that wasn't rough, where there wasn't a lot of difficult behavoioural issues, where people didn't swear as a norm

My choice.

Strange that you assume the only alternative to a rough school is some middle class school full of bodenites . There is much more to the world than just 'rough' or 'middle class'.

mrz · 04/07/2010 17:06

I've only taught in one school I considered too rough to send my own children to and a number of middle class leafy suburb schools I felt the same about

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 17:07

I prefer G Star Raw trackies myself ..you can fit a can of steel in the pocket

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:07

There are some quite confusing attitudes on this thread.

I understand wanting a good education and pleasant environment for your children - who wants swearing, drinking people hanging around in the playground?

But the OP didn't say the school was a bad school. She actually said her DD was really happy, the school was good in every way and set in lovely grounds etc - just in a 'rough' area (still don't understand what that means in this context).

I find it really sad that people want to mix with 'those they have something in common with'. Does that extend to race and religion, or is it just social class? Not all schools in poor areas are populated by beer-swilling thugs and ASBO kids. The vast majority, in fact, are not.

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 17:08

But why Expat?

I don't really believe the swearing/drinking thing admittedly, I think it was made up as there wasn't enough agreement.

As I've said, DD's school is in a mixed area, but not many middle class types, and she's really happy there.

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 17:08

Steel? Stella*

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 17:10

'I find it really sad that people want to mix with 'those they have something in common with'. Does that extend to race and religion, or is it just social class?'

No, and that's a ridiculous assumption to make.

I wouldn't want to hang around people who show up at the school yard and swear, argue, bring their fecking dog no matter where it was.

That just makes me a person who doesn't want to hang round that or send my kid to a school where that's what the gates are like.

We're working poor. We live in a council flat.

It's only one building, and the school nearby is a mix as far as income levels.

But people don't show up and swear, argue or bring their damn dog.

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:10

I work in education too, by the way@overmydeadbody (although not primary school age children). The scariest schools I have ever encountered have been 'outsanding' selective schools (but that is a whole other thread!).

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:11

But you are not addressing the OP@expat. You are making up a fictional scenario (which does sound dreadful). The OP did not describe a school like that. Far from it. She described a good school, set in a poor area with parents who don't look like bank managers.

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 17:11

Why what, muggle? I wouldn't want my kid at a school where parents show up in jimjams or swear, argue, bring their dog.

I don't consider that acceptable behaviour in front of young kids.

I move away from it.

I'll continue to do so.

Because I don't want to hear it or hang round it.

expatinscotland · 04/07/2010 17:13

Well, the OP said people swear and argue in the schoolyards.

The damn staffie dog thing would be enough for me.

I can't stand that type of dog, I think they are dangerous.

ReasonableDoubt · 04/07/2010 17:15

I agree dogs shouldn't be allowed in the playground and a good headteacher would stamp out unsociable behaviour on school premises sharpish.

I just detect such undertones of snobbery in this thread and others like it. It unsettles me.

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 17:16

Why would you move your kids?

As I said, I don't believe the arguing or swearing thing, and she didn't say the dogs were in the playground.

I think she made stuff up.

If it really is a school with arguing and swearing, then yes, I'd move my DD too, but I find it hard to believe, plus she said her DD was happy and the other kids were nice and she'd made friends.

usualsuspect · 04/07/2010 17:16

It unsettles me too..but maybe its because I live on a council estate ..not many on MN do

daisymiller · 04/07/2010 17:19

I am not allowed to bring my charming pedigree gun dog into the playground so there are definitely no Staffies at our school.

I don't think there is anything wrong in wanting to spend time with people you have something in common with . That does not mean they are clones, but you have some shared ground.

muggglewump · 04/07/2010 17:23

No one is allowed to bring dogs in to out playground, and that's how it should be, of course, but she didn't say that was happening, though she will not with a Rottweiler or two and a few Pit Bulls thrown in for good measure.

Flip

1 2 3 4