Anyone regretted move from state to private?

[BridesheadRegardless]

Hi, we are thinking of doing ths for our DS2.

He is 6yrs, a very young 6, in Yr2, and was not ready for school when he started.

He has been given an IEP to address his literacy which is lagging behind, but we feel the school are not sufficiently addressing this and he feels that he is the 'rubbishiest' in his class.

So, there is a local priavte school which will take him into a Yr1 class of 10 pupils and give him extra support. We will be commiting to privete ed long term by holding him back a year but I think this is the biggest help he could have and the advantage of being the oldest instaed of the youngest will be HUGE for him.

Anyone done similiar and found it's out of frying pan onto the fire? Or encountered problems I haven't thought of?

All opinions and advice greatfully received.

You have very hard decisions to make and I don't envy you. I would hate my ds to come home every day and tell me he was rubbish and I would be desperate to get him out of that environment. I do agree with other posters, though, that maybe you are pinning a bit too much hope on keeping your ds down a year, in a totally new school, as being the solution to all his problems. I would look into alternative state schools too, first - look for a school with a happy atmosphere where the children's level of attainment on leaving school is higher than would normally be predicted given their level at entry (ie their added value score), rather than what their SATs results are and whether they have an outstanding OFSTED report. Good SATs results and outstanding OFSTED reports guarantee a very middle class intake of already-performing-above-average children, they provide very few guarantees of anything else - certainly not a huge tolerance of the tiny proportion of children in the school with any form of academic difficulty (whether temporary or permanent). Just because you made a mistake in your choice of state school the first time around, it doesn't mean the only choice left open to you is to pay for your child to go to private school. Look at several options before you decide. There are state schools out there that will deal perfectly well with your ds in his correct year group and will make him feel good about himself and his achievements. (And I was just wondering - is the state sector always that rigid, and when did this start, as I went to a state primary and clearly remember a couple of boys staying down a year to help them catch up with their reading - the problem only arriving at the end of primary school, because I think they were required to go on to secondary school at "the right time"?).

Polly, if the date start date was flexible then decisions could be made on the basis of each childs development and readiness.

So the ready to go bright little buttons would start earlier along side the slightly older but less ready so didn't start last year ones.

yes the age differences would be slightly wider, up to 18mths, but it would reflect the childrens development and not just their age.

You'd only end up in a class with someone 14mths older than you if you were really ready for it and they needed more time.

I don't see how that is unfair on anyone.
Childrens development varies that much in the early years.

the children in his current class are only his 'peers' due to arbitary cut off date. In reality the child in his class who is 6mths older is no more his peer than the child in the year below who is 6mths younger.

Rabbitstew I understand what you are syaing about another state school, and if I could turn back the clock that's what I'd do choose a diferrent state school, but now the lure of smaller classes and a more personalised eductaion is very compelling.

ps some state schools mix their years, anyway - ie the older half of reception have lessons with the younger half of year 1, etc.

Yes but brideshead who is supposed to make these decisions about who's a "bright little button" who should go in early and who is whatever the opposite of a bright little button is who should go in late? I think the answer is to be much more supportive of summer borns within the present system. Various ways
a) abolish the two tier entry. In our LEA the post feb birthdays go in a term late. They get a term less of a reception and the older ones are further benefitted by having a term being taught in a class of 15.
b) not set tables as early as they do. This early streaming is bonkers as it seems self-fulfilling. My ds was on a lower table when he started due to coming in a term after the older ones had had a whole term of phonics. He is now on the top table because he's a cocky little sod who is convinced of his own genuis but a more reticent child might have stayed further down for their whole career (and likewise one of those autumn borns might have become clever just because they were told they were early enough)
c) acknowledge the additional difficulties that summer borns may face and give them the necessary support early on (but not in a way that makes them seem like they're on the "rubbishiest table" see point above).
d) all of us acknowledge that children's development is variable in the early years and everyone on mn and in real life ban the phrase "my dd/ds is very bright" if they're younger than 11. They're not bright, necessarily, just developmentally ahead which is mutable.

Not all summer borns are behind those who are older in the year. It can be that the older ones are more emotionally immature than the younger ones. It is hard on them as being the oldest they are expected to be more mature when that isn't always the case.

Fair points Polly and these would help to ease the differences and difficulties for many children. I still think some flexibility at the discretion and agreement of the parenst and school would really benefit alot of children though.

Mollie, not all summer borns obviously, but a statistically signifcant amount.

Statistically summer borns are likely to do less well academically with the difference diminishing as they rpogress thorugh but still there even at A level.
Less likley to suceed in competive sport (see freakeconomics for intersting chapete on professinal sports peoples birthdays)
More likely to be excluded.
More likey to be referrde to Ed Psych and have SEN.

These things do not happen becuase october born children are intrinsically more clever than summer borns you know.

There are many many exceptions to the rule of course but the bias and disadvantage is clearly there.

It does seem to be a recent thing though. When I was growing up being a summer born was seen as an advantage. My brother is end August and my parents considered it a good thing as he could have an extra year at school if he needed it (he didn't).

If I was making the change you are contemplating I would want to know the specifics of what the private school can offer and exactly how they would support your ds. For example does the class have a TA as well as a teacher? Is the plan to teach ds completely in class or will there be 1:1 as well? What is the cost? (£32/hr at ds's). How often would his progress be reviewed? Who will be involved in supporting him - teacher, TA, SENCO, anyone else? At ds's school some children are referred to a counsellor for emotional issues (thinking of your ds's lack of self esteem).

Don't be blinded by the difference in class size, there is a lot else to question. Your ds has an IEP what will the private school do with this? What is their relationship with the LEA? Will the LEA offer support? (unlikely ime).

If you can do private all the way through I would do it. We put DS2 (dyslexic and really struggling) back a year when we came to Oz and that year made all the difference to him (Y3). The school goes right through to Y12 though, so I knew once he got in he could stay until the end and I wouldn't have to argue about him being out of year going into high school.

I don't think class size is the be all and end all; what you need to look at is the ethos and support offered. Although our school is private the classes aren't particularly small, especially years 3-6. What I consider worth paying for is the difference in attitude - kids who are struggling are nurtured and supported rather than being dumped down the back of the classroom, and I do say that from experience - DS1 was an August born dyslexic child which is a recipe for disaster in the UK.

I think MollieO and evensunnier have good points. Just remembered my SIL who teaches in a private prep saying she often can't help the kids who need individual support and there's no extra support available. I'm sure each private school is different, but it's definitely worth checking.