Quite pissed off about this, am I being daft?

[FlightAttendant]

Today ds1 went abck to school and was really looking forward to it.

I went to get him at 3.15 and he was absolutely busting to tell me about the 'thing' that had landed in the woodland bit of the playground.

I followed him and a large crowd of grown ups and children was standing around this thing, which looked to me very much like a huge air conditioning unit half buried in the ground, with a slightly blackened tree next to it.

I have to admit I immediately thought it was a kind of set up, for fun - there was stripey tape all round it and nobody allowed to touch.

Ds told me that it had apparently 'crashed' last night, and was from a satellite or spaceship or similar and it even had the voltage written on it!

He loves this kind of thing so was utterly serious and really quite blown away by the idea. They had spent all day finding out about it and someone from the BBC had apparently come and interviewed a witness, with a microphone but no camera.

There is nothing on the BBC website. The newsletter just arrived and there is a large paragraph about it - 'We hope the children enjoyed the 'space mystery' today, our project this term is all about space' etc etc...

I didn't know what to do, so stupidly, probably, I told ds it wasn't actually from a spaceship, and he started to cry

I mean is this just like the Father Christmas thing we do with them, or is it actually rather cruel of them to lie about something so potentially thrilling - I have probably done the wrong thing but he would have found out later anyway no doubt and been MORE upset.

He is insisting the newsletter is wrong and is very cross and fed up.

Can anyone talk me down, I really don't need another confrontation with the HT...I am just so sad for him.

Please stop worrying about bulldozers FA.
Concentrate on UFOs

'Oh don't be so silly, it's just for fun, it's not real - grow up now and don't be a silly girl. You're a big girl now'
Now you're just projecting your view of what teachers may say to a child - as if.

'coddle their darlings'
There's a hell of a lot of hysterical (in both senses of the word) PFBness about this thread - maybe not from FA, whose reaction is more understandable at least.

i disagree Feenie on both counts.

I don't see any PFBness and please don't let me off for having AS! i neglect him witht he best of them

I'm not projecting at all - that is exactly what my teachers said to me.

Haveitallmummy if those things you mention came to the attention of my child and upset them then I would expect the adult in charge to comfort them and guide them through the emotion.
I wouldn't think it okay if the adult in charge deliberately gave them a picture with blood on or a sad book purely to provoke a reaction. I still can't get over this comment in mrz link
"we could see how shocked and perplexed they were. It was a fantastic first reaction."

By FlightAttendant Wed 06-Jan-10 13:44:24
Yes of course Mrz. He's not thick. But he was swept up in it and desperate for it to be real, if you had seen him at 3.15 yesterday you would have been worried about him finding out he was being told a story too.

He was gasping, couldn't get the words out, he was just so so thrilled.

I'm afraid I'm the type of parent who would encourage the excitement and suggest we went home to find out more rather than worrying about him being upset but I accept you know your son far better than I.

Newsflash - teaching has changed in the last 30 years! I would hate to teach alongside some of my old infant teachers.

Seriously, no one would say that now, FA.

As you can see FA things at school have moved on! Granted they are still a few teachers who would say those things out there. The majority of teachers though have an excellent handle on everyone in their class.
I'm sure if a teacher said that nowdays. The head would be onto them in no time at all.

Definition of shocked (Cambridge):
shock verb (SURPRISE)
/ʃɒk//ʃɑːk/ v [I or T]
to make someone feel upset or surprised.

Suggest you are confusing shocked with the former definition, juule.

'Oh don't be so silly, it's just for fun, it's not real - grow up now and don't be a silly girl. You're a big girl now'

FA - I can assure that this is definitely not how I would ever deal with a pupil's worries, concerns or fears. TBH, would be devasted if anyone ever thought I would.

Things have, IMO changed since we were at school. Children are very open IME - especially for one off stuff like this. Maybe they do trust their teachers and TAs more as we try to be more approachable these days. We give them opportunities to talk in groups and one to one in schools now, and in primary this can be so benefiically.

Not PFB-ness Feenie, I just dislike the way children are sneerily referred to as 'little darlings' at times. I think it's unecessary.

great point juuule
"we could see how shocked and perplexed they were. It was a fantastic first reaction."
it's as if they can't put themselves in the children's shoes, they can't empathize with how the children must be feeling, they are only onlookers from the outside

Hmmm...I hope you are right.

Mrz, thankyou for that - though I am still of the opinion that encouraging a child to get more and more excited might precipitate an even harsher eventual fall.

I think it's called 'getting their hopes up'.

I told my mother about it just now...she of the degree in educational psychology...she said it was cruel. I'm glad she agrees with me, though she is far more pfb about him than I am - but she has a great imagination, and supports the idea of school, just she thinks it's wrong to play a hoax on children.

I can't think of any justification either.

juule - with regards the shocked and perplexed comment. hat do those two words actually mean to you/ What images are you conjuring?

I have a feeling that what I see from those words are different to yours.

I see children sanding intrigued, curious, a bit puzzled, excited, some a bit , and maybe the odd few a little unsure - but being supported by their TA and/pr teacher, and being gently coaxed to explore what it is, and being reassured that there was definitely nothing that could harm them.

Why would I be confusing it Feenie?

What makes the former definition less applicable than the latter?

By FlightAttendant Wed 06-Jan-10 14:09:02 "it's wrong to play a hoax on children."

It was not a hoax it was a wonderful exciting day to kick start a wonderful exciting topic.

I'm not even going to go into some of the scenarios we have used which thankfully our parents enjoyed as much as the children because it may tip some sensitive souls over the edge.

Hulababy I think it's probably the way it's being perceived as a great 'result' by the teacher involved...that's really manipulative.

'Ooh let's make the children feel this' in other words.

I think maybe causing children to feel a certain way is being thought of as a means to make them learn, or open their minds to it etc.

I don't think that's fair.
There are other ways, genuine ways, without resorting to this stuff.

What's your definition of a hoax then Mrz?

I have this: to trick into believing or accepting as genuine something false and often preposterous.

Because staff thought it was a great first reaction, Juule.

If the children had been upset, rather than surprised, the staff wouldn't have thought so. Obviously.

Hulababy what you see would probably tie in with my view of perplexed. It's the shocked bit that disturbs me. And I don't go along with the view that shocked only means surprised. It has a much stronger meaning than that to me.

mrz
so it actually gets even worse (or better) depending on ones's viewpoint

Yes shocked and surprised are totally different things, I would suggest a combination or surprised and either upset, or at least unsettled.

combination of

By claig Wed 06-Jan-10 14:18:22
mrz smile
so it actually gets even worse (or better) depending on ones's viewpoint

put it this way I don't think you or flight would cope if your children were in my class.