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Original poster

Quite pissed off about this, am I being daft?

373 replies

FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 17:59

Today ds1 went abck to school and was really looking forward to it.

I went to get him at 3.15 and he was absolutely busting to tell me about the 'thing' that had landed in the woodland bit of the playground.

I followed him and a large crowd of grown ups and children was standing around this thing, which looked to me very much like a huge air conditioning unit half buried in the ground, with a slightly blackened tree next to it.

I have to admit I immediately thought it was a kind of set up, for fun - there was stripey tape all round it and nobody allowed to touch.

Ds told me that it had apparently 'crashed' last night, and was from a satellite or spaceship or similar and it even had the voltage written on it!

He loves this kind of thing so was utterly serious and really quite blown away by the idea. They had spent all day finding out about it and someone from the BBC had apparently come and interviewed a witness, with a microphone but no camera.

There is nothing on the BBC website. The newsletter just arrived and there is a large paragraph about it - 'We hope the children enjoyed the 'space mystery' today, our project this term is all about space' etc etc...

I didn't know what to do, so stupidly, probably, I told ds it wasn't actually from a spaceship, and he started to cry

I mean is this just like the Father Christmas thing we do with them, or is it actually rather cruel of them to lie about something so potentially thrilling - I have probably done the wrong thing but he would have found out later anyway no doubt and been MORE upset.

He is insisting the newsletter is wrong and is very cross and fed up.

Can anyone talk me down, I really don't need another confrontation with the HT...I am just so sad for him.

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juuule · 05/01/2010 18:32

I agree with you, too, FA.
I would have told them that it was pretend. Probably would have explained that bits do fall off satellites but usually burn up in the atmosphere or something (would check my facts beforehand).
I'm sure some of mine would have been worrying that something big might fall on the house or them or hurt someone.
Think deliberate, premeditated fabrication isn't particularly a good thing in a school where most children will believe what the teachers tell them. And once the child finds out for certain that it was made up then perhaps they might be less likely to have much faith in what a teacher tells them.

FA, sorry to hear that your ds has been upset by this and I probably would mention it to his class teacher.

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 18:39

thankyou very much for being nice!

I have only just dared look at the thread again...

Sorry to be such a girly wuss about it, I was just in from ds' dancing and very knackered and then him sobbing about the blardy satellite was too much.

It's because of his reaction to the truth that I think it may have been misguided of them, iyswim - if he had kind of known it wasn't real, and not likely to care much eitehr way, then fair dos, obviously.

Make believe is wonderful but it has to have the element of suspension of disbelief, I son't know if that's the right phrase but they have to have a little bit of doubt, or kind of know you are kidding...I think this was just delivered in a way that was slgihtly off the mark.

Maybe most of them were fine about it. Ds really cares about this kind of stuff though.

Anyway I'm not going to go storming in or anything but I will need to have some kind of word so they know he was upset and can clear it up with him.

Thanks again for all the advice.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 05/01/2010 18:46

I think that imagination and pretend play are the most wonderful parts of childhood.
Sorry OP, YABU...but we live and learn as parents

mrsruffallo · 05/01/2010 18:48

He's upset because of what you said. You need to sort things out, not the school.
Please don't go to there.

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 18:50

How do I sort it out though?>

suggestions welcome!

OP posts:
juuule · 05/01/2010 18:53

He's upset because he found out that what he believed was a wonderful event was actually fake.
I agree that imagination and pretend play are a great part of childhood but that's not really what this was. The child accepted it as truth. If anyone was to give the game away surely the school could have done that even if it was at the end of the exercise.
Something just doesn't feel right about what's been described.

juuule · 05/01/2010 18:56

I'd enlist his class teacher to help with explaining the situation to him after letting her know that it was causing difficulties between you.

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 18:57

Thanks Juule, I'm relieved you and some others understand...it deffo doesn't feel right to me, I'm prepared to accept it was a misjudgment on their part and have no problems with the Father Christmas thing or tooth fairy etc etc.

But he is nearly 7 and not thick. I have been edging him into the land of 'maybe mummy is father Christmas, possibly, because she does keep the presents in the same place as him' etc etc

But it is very gradual and he half knows. It's not out and out fibbing.

I can see what they were trying to do but I think saying he was upset because he found out the truth is a bit off...of course people are upset if they feel they have been deceived. It doesn't always make perpetuating the deception justified though.

I wonder if I had gone along with it, when they would have fessed up and how he would have coped with his tears at school.

OP posts:
skidoodle · 05/01/2010 19:04

Imagination and pretend play are wonderful for children.

Of course these children aren't using their imaginations, they are believing untruths elaborately constructed for them by their school. They don't know it's a pretence, so they're not involved in pretend play.

Isn't reality interesting enough for the morons at this school?

juuule · 05/01/2010 19:09

Skidoodle has hit the nail on the head.

JeremyVile · 05/01/2010 19:18

Aaaw Flight - I'm really sorry ds was so disappointed.
I actually think this is a nice thing the school have done but I would probably feel just as upset as you, because of ds being upset iyswim.

Hope he (and you) feels better soon.

pointydig · 05/01/2010 19:23

This whole 'stahed event' thing seems to be HUGE in england. There have been threads about this before.

I find it slightly odd.

QOFEisinatizz · 05/01/2010 19:26

I'm with skidoodle.

What was this actually intended to teach the children? 'Things' do not generally fall out of space.

There's enough amazing and wonderful stuff going on in space - way more than they coould possibly cover in a term. Why can't they teach the children about something real, something useful - no less interesting if taught well, and no less wondrous.

As a child that would have terrified me tbh, precisely because I had a very active imagination. I genuinely would have lain awake at night worrying that something could fall on our house.

pointydig · 05/01/2010 19:27

Things can fall out of space. And the project could have taught the children a lot.

claig · 05/01/2010 19:34

Agree with wherechaostheoryrules and the minority who think this is odd. They are acting a bit like "the boy who cried wolf", the kids will end up losing trust in the teachers. What happens when there is a fire alarm, and the smarter kids have wised up and falsely think that this is another prank

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 19:35

They will be 'doing' space all term...astrodome, everything. Apparently.

Sounds great, and I can see what the idea behind this was but tbh it wasn;t well thought out.

I can tell that just by the way he reacted to what I said.
Never heard of the staged thing before, would be interested from a teacher's PoV if it is the new big thing.

OP posts:
juuule · 05/01/2010 19:36

I've not come across the 'staged' thing either and am also wondering if it's a new thing.

QOFEisinatizz · 05/01/2010 19:38

There've been threads about it before.

One school staged an alien spacecraft iirc and the headteacher spent the week walking round with a fake cut on his head

JaneiteIsAWimpyTeacher · 05/01/2010 19:40

I am a teacher. I do things like this (when I have the energy). Somebody will have spent part of their Christmas holiday planning what sounds like a lovely activity and I'm surprised people can't see the value in it. Schools are supposed to put learning into 'real' contexts and since they can't actually take the pupils to space etc this is a way of doing it.

Chaos Theory - I so disagree with you - but you express yourself so eloquently.

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 19:41

Here we go

I feel lucky reading this.

OP posts:
QOFEisinatizz · 05/01/2010 19:42

Past thread

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 19:44

and another

I want to know what the reaction of the kids was tbh.
It seems they were told itw as fake in this link. Our lot weren't.

OP posts:
juuule · 05/01/2010 19:44

"real" contexts?

Original poster
FlightAttendant · 05/01/2010 19:46

Blimey Q that is appalling

Is it all down to the TES that these events are becoming so fashionable?

I wish they would stop it.

OP posts:
HaveItAllMummy · 05/01/2010 19:47

FA - do you have AS? I never knew that (oh, sorry, I have namechanged as I don't want my MN name to be found out by the marketing depts that will read the bus campaign thread, but I am here a lot )

Role-playing is a good teaching method - it doesn't aim to lie, but to put the children in the position of 'what it', to use their imaginations and responses to think through all the different aspects of the encounter, and the things they discover for themselves then get learned with more impact and understanding.

Could you stick with the Newsletter's version of things and tell him it is in fact, a mystery? And that if he follows the clues he will find out all about it?

Don't beat yourself up about it.