Quite pissed off about this, am I being daft?

[FlightAttendant]

Today ds1 went abck to school and was really looking forward to it.

I went to get him at 3.15 and he was absolutely busting to tell me about the 'thing' that had landed in the woodland bit of the playground.

I followed him and a large crowd of grown ups and children was standing around this thing, which looked to me very much like a huge air conditioning unit half buried in the ground, with a slightly blackened tree next to it.

I have to admit I immediately thought it was a kind of set up, for fun - there was stripey tape all round it and nobody allowed to touch.

Ds told me that it had apparently 'crashed' last night, and was from a satellite or spaceship or similar and it even had the voltage written on it!

He loves this kind of thing so was utterly serious and really quite blown away by the idea. They had spent all day finding out about it and someone from the BBC had apparently come and interviewed a witness, with a microphone but no camera.

There is nothing on the BBC website. The newsletter just arrived and there is a large paragraph about it - 'We hope the children enjoyed the 'space mystery' today, our project this term is all about space' etc etc...

I didn't know what to do, so stupidly, probably, I told ds it wasn't actually from a spaceship, and he started to cry

I mean is this just like the Father Christmas thing we do with them, or is it actually rather cruel of them to lie about something so potentially thrilling - I have probably done the wrong thing but he would have found out later anyway no doubt and been MORE upset.

He is insisting the newsletter is wrong and is very cross and fed up.

Can anyone talk me down, I really don't need another confrontation with the HT...I am just so sad for him.

I think this thread goes to show how little (some) teachers really know about kids.

Thanks Getorf - I felt like that too!

May go straight for aibu next time...

Zephirine I am laughing out loud at that comment, and will keep it in mind...I may even write it on a post it note.

It sounds a great idea to me-I want my DCs to have magic and imagination in their lives.
I bet the work that it inspired was fantastic.

Well Pisces I hope mine have both of those elements in their lives already, without the need for contrived 'activities' involving media or the emergency services!

Phew - having felt last night that I was the only person who wasn't shocked and appalled at the idea of make-believe in the classroom, I now see there are others who feel the same way. Thank goodness for Hulababy and co!

Link to my favourite poem which I think says such a lot about that sense of wonderment that many children have and unfortunately some adults try to kill.

Ok, I have read most of the thread, although not every post in entire detail. I have also spent the afternoon in A&E so I apologise if I haven't read things properly.

I am a teacher, in Reception. We do this "kind of thing" at our school. The approach we use is called 'Mantle of the Expert' and is similar (although possibly not the same) as what the op describes. It works on the premise of the children acting as experts. By assuming the role of experts they aquire knowledge far quicker than they would ordinarily because they "need" the knowledge in order to carry out their roles. There is always a commision (a job to be done) and there is always a client to do the job for.

The crucial part that the school in this instance seems to have missed out is explaining to the children about "stepping into a story." This is the terminolgy we use with our children from reception up to let them know when we are embarking on this type of work. The children at our school have been castle restorers, deep sea divers, fairy tale problem solvers, fire and rescue service - the list goes on and on. However - they do know it is not real. We never let them believe that it isn't. However, we don't sit them down and say "today we're stepping in to our story" but by the language we use it is apparent it isn't real.

The reasons for using this approach are complex. But they include - children developing their problem solving, collaboration, and communication skills. Providing real purposes for children to write and not just because the teacher told them to. There are often chances to use and apply maths too (we recently had children measuring the playground to see whether the boat we had would be big enough to move a whale). Children often operate at a much higher level in these situations because the constraints of them being themselves are not in place. Shy children become extrovert; reluctant writers suddenly decide a very important letter must be written; different leaders come to the fore; children suddenly reveal knowledge you never knew they had.

However, it is a very difficult teaching method. (The teacher has an equal status with the children for these sessions so they can be hard to manage). It truly is exciting for all involved and children retain the knowledge too in a way they don't with more traditional methods.

I understand some of the concerns expressed about this teaching as it is so different from what we experienced at school. However, I do object to being called a moron etc. Of course, as in every profession, there are teachers who are incompetent. However, most teachers I know work extremely hard to make school as interesting, fun and thought provoking as they can.

In this case it seems to me the school hadn't quite got the balance right. Maybe you could help them learn from it. Seems an innocent mistake to me. I'm sorry your son was upset.

Thanks for explaining 'mantle of the expert'. I mentioned it briefly way down the thread but it was lost in the uproar!

Janite, it's not a case of trying to kill it, it's when it encroaches on reality and genuinely frightens them. Ds1 genuinely thought he was being taken away to Spain!

The wonderment and make believe of childhood is indeed precious and we should preserve it it by NOT INTERFERING WITH IT.

I don't think the school was using the Mantle of the Expert method which can work well but in my experience doesn't allow children to fully develop empathy.

Coldtits - sorry, I haven't read the details of your ds but the child in the op seemed to enjoy the activity and wasn't frightened by it at all, as far as I can see.

Yes, I think we all agree that your ds's case was bananas, Coldtits.

Mrz, I think it is like anything really, depends how it's done. I would say our children do have plentiful opportunities to develop empathy because of the client and commissions we choose to use. We have had children very concerned about the Big Bad Wolf (we used a different angle in the 3 Little Pigs - Mrs Wolf had had babies and he needed to get food for his family). They tried to offer him a vegetarian diet but he couldn't eat it and they deliberated for ages about how to satisfy his dietary requirements.

I have also seen our roughest, toughest kids "handle" animals carefully who needed to be rescued as part of another commission.

I'd be interested as to why you think mantle doesn't provide opportunities to develop empathy. Although, I accept this approach may not have been being used in the OPs school.

Mantle of the Expert sounds brilliant - I really want to learn more but it isn't appropriate for the children I work with

Why isn't it appropriate superbunny?

Here's a link

Thanks Sara, I can see clearly the difference between your schol's approach and ours.

I think they simply didn't research it properly. I am sure no harm was intended but I do wish they would be more careful.

Janeite I object to your supposition that I 'try to kill' ds' sense of wonderment and so on.
That's very upsetting to me. I try very hard to make sure he has plenty of nice things happen and things we can't always explain, and an appreciation of the beauty of the world...I'm not sure how to prove to you I have his sense of wonderment near the top of my priorities, as you probably won't believe me.

Of course the fact that is your favourite poem would preclude anyone else, me particularly, from appreciating and loving it too

How special does that make you feel?

...and I am not shocked (surprised) or appalled by the use of make believe in the classroom - indeed I believe it to be vital - but the kids should know they are doing it. At least on SOME level.

Please, please just think around your prejudice and understand that I value these activities when used correctly. As Sara explained, the 'stepping into a story' part is crucial. Without that you do run the risk of children being confused or indeed upset...as evidenced by what happened at our school, and not just to ds.

Can you not see that? Or is a little bit of deception and disingenuity neither here nor there as long as they get their creative moment? it's the comedown we are discussing as much as anything.

I can't understand why you told him it wasn't a space ship-he would have realised it eventually and been pleased that the school had some fantasy-rather as you look back and are so grateful that your parents gave you the magic of Father Christmas.

"The thing that is bothering me right now is that they are going to be showing off about this to ofsted, without any reference to the fact that several children were distressed by it."

Flight, IIRC, parents have the opportunity to write questions/comments to the Ofsted inspectors when the inspection is being carried out. You could do this.

Have not read all the thread but would like to add my support - am all in favour of "hey kids, let's all pretend," but not conning them.

I liked Sararara's description of her activities but the last bit about the apologia for the Big Bag Wolf made me rofl - sounded like something from Viz: Skinheed crossed with the Modern Parents.

I just remembered that the most famous alien invasion stunt was the 1938 Orson Welles "War of the Worlds" radio broadcast.
Worth reading the wikipedia article
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_War_of_the_Worlds_(radio) to see the extent of the panic and mass hysteria that it produced in adults.

When a similar stunt was staged in Ecuador, it initially caused panic which soon turned to anger and rioting when the public found out that they had been deceived. The rioters killed the producer's girlfriend and his nephew as well as other people.

If these stunts can produce this type of behaviour in adults, it makes you wonder what they might be doing to some young impressionable minds.

sararararararah, that "mantle of expert" sounds excellent. It makes learning so much fun because it wraps it up in play and brings it to life. The fact that they know it isn't real, doesn't seem to reduce their enjoyment at all.

As you say the fantastic thing about it, is that it takes the children out of themselves, just like acting does, and lets them play roles which can transform shy children.

I bet they all look forward to going to school everyday.

Janeite, I too resent the insinuation that anyone who voices criticism towards such teaching methods is out to kill children's sense of imagination and wonderment.

Perhaps you haven't noticed, but the discussion here has moved away from a simple black and white, towards the point where people are considering when and how it can be a good thing and when and how it is problematic.

Your contribution however goes back to the level of "every such teaching activity is good and anybody who doesn't agree is an evil grown up out to destroy childhood".

Pisces, I just wrote a long reply but it was eaten by the internet snow monster I think.

(no imagination, moi?)

Basically I think I told him because on some level, I knew the school would - or the older kids would - and the illusion would very soon be shattered anyway.

I guess anticipating this, I wanted to preempt it but ensuring he was on my lap, being cuddled, when it happened, and that we could discuss it, and I could comfort him.

I didn't like seeing him being strung along.
My initial thought seeing his little face so excited about it was not 'oh how sweet, he believes it's real, aren't children gullible innocent'
it was 'Oh shoot, he is going to be SO cut up tomorrow, I am going to have to prepare him'.

It was almost like finding out your friend's husband is sleeping with the au pair, and knowing she's gonna find out in the next few days - do you take her to one side and say 'Look, this is going to hurt but...' or do you just sit back and let it take place randomly when she is not somewhere she can let out her pain?

I know what I would do.

His reaction was strong and it lasted about 10 minutes. In this time he sought to counter my statements, saying that no, the newsletter was wrong, they are lying, the HT is lying by saying it's not true, and 'if it's not real they're stupid idiots' and 'I'm going to kill them'

all this time crying.
He was OK after that, and a big cuddle, and played with his brother till bedtime...and in the morning, he had got his act together and had a strategy, which was to tell his friends it wasn't real. He felt he was in control and most of them already knew.

I am certain he would have cried and cried and been absolutely gutted if he hadn't had a bit of advance warning and been able to let out his disappointment in a safe place.
So no I didn't prevent him being upset but I helped him save face, imo.

Sarararararah's description of "Mantle of the Expert" sounds a much better idea due to explaining to the children about "stepping into a story".

FA - the 'darling-coddling' comment was not directed at you, but geneally at some of the other assertions on this thread about teachers and schools, and particularly Juule wanting specific activities warned of in advance. i think this would be completely reasonable fo children whohave SEN of any relevant kind, but the general tone of a whole raft of parents on this thread sounds totally neurotic and over-protective.

IF children are genuinely terrified with following trauma then that is one thing. Bit worrying and projecting that it might or would happen as a result of things that are actually quite well managed by the experienced professionals is another. I accept that some children are sensitive and get upset about certain things at school - actually, I did too. I do now in my life as an adult. But findoing some things upsetting or perplexing...and then realising that Inhad survived and the world goes ion is a vital part of developing a resilient and secure place in the world, IMO.

FlightAttendant, great example about the au pair. It takes great strength and a very caring soul to be able to absorb the pain, frustration and rage of someone else, in order to help them cope, rather than letting events unfold in an unpredictable way, which may even have dangerous consequences