We are the festive receptionists' mothers - we bring shepherds, aliens and travelling cribs to a nativity play near you

[mistletoemulledwinemoodlum]

This is our new festive thread ladies.

Mood - could you and dd do some role play stuff so she can get more comfortable with asking other kids to play with her? Just a thought.

Sorry I meant Aci not Moodlum!

It is tricky I think grammerpolice (it pains my pedantic nature to type that ).

DS (year 1) didn't get his books changed for ages before Christmas, despite me writing friendly messages in the reading record, along the lines of "please can we have more books, we are bored" but put slightly better. I spoke to a teaching assistant one day and his books were changed that day. Although I know they can always read other books at home, and that is obviously good, DS does get quite fixated on what school reading books he has, and as he is an eager to learn child, I would like him to stay that way.

I think I would rather appear to be a pushy parent than for DS to feel that his efforts were going unnoticed and then stopping making the effort IYSWIM.

Moodlum - I know the awkward feeling - some of my school mums actually went to the school themselves! They all seem to pick up the mind waves sending out information which the school does instead of letters. I'm not on the same frequency. Actually I am rarely in the playground, so have very little clue what is going on.

Uniform was OK though, there were luckily ironed shirts hanging in the cupboard.

I delegate the packed lunch making to my husband as he has to do his own might as well make one more - I get school dinners!

I remain unconvinced on boy having school dinners as they are not cooked on site, but shipped in from another school where they are prepared in the morning. Also don't want to pay £10 a week for him not to eat them! It's cheaper to make sandwiches for him not to eat. Apparently there's a bit of a rush on to get out and play, leaving time to eat the rice cakes and fruit bar, but not enough for the sandwiches. Unless they are tuna.

Grammerpolice - we had a letter home which had a maths "target" of counting up to 10. Hmmm. Books are cracking along now though, we get a new one twice a week.

Aci - hope your daughter is OK and the friendship situation improves.

Oh no another pedant

Still no books at all here.

I am nice. And don't correct people. In fact, DS has been correcting me recently. Over the die/dice conundrum. He won't let me say one dice....

I do have a spell checker on firefox which helps

Thanks all. They do have a buddy bench but I think dd is shy about using it She is having a lot of wee accidents too. Things went so well last term - none of this would have surprised me at all if it had been last Sep but I wasn't expecting it now.

I'm sure dd would be delighted to have just one special friend. It seems that she plays very well one on one, but is not chosen if there is a choice, basically. Dd and I are both new to the village too. I might ask to speak with her teacher tomorrow (if she's in - she was off today).

We do school dinners. They seem good and dd thinks they are 'delicious'. Especially the puddings

I also saw the numeracy target of counting to 10 and thought Not that that isn't fine as a target - but dd and quite a few others can do so much more and love to play with numbers. Seems such a waste of their enthusiasm.

The counting to 10 target wouldn't have irked me quite so much if it hadn't been described as an "individual" target.

He can already do that. So not much of a target.

Have to rofl at idea of counting to 10 being an individual target. Or individual. Or any sort of target. Maybe they mean more than count. Lets hope so. Maybe they mean there is ability to play with the number and do basic maths with it.

Oooh this is where schools loose it in children, all the love of finding stuff out and learning. Target reached - tick, ignore further potential as league table sorted.

It is a worry. Especially if individual targets can't respond to the fact that my kid can multiply and divide, and is doing better than me quite nicely figuring out fractions, but can't read cat.

SHall we just have a thread school? It'll be lovely. I'll do....er.....nutrition.

Acinonyx - I'm sure you have and anyway what the hell do I know, but we stalked invited a few children over. Just one at time for playdates. If you notice a nervous child, or a tearful one, or anyone not in the pack - invite! We paired up with a little boy very like dd1 is disposition and it was a Godsend. They get on well now, and I think feel they have a secret bond as they know each others toy collection.

Noah, I am a fellow pedant although sometimes I post on here in a rush so make typos. It is a very intentional mistake based on a Mumsnet thread which is now in classics. Someone from another parenting website got really arsey when a Mumsnettter had a go about her grammar and said "who do you think you are, the grammer police" . So the sic at the end is the key. Sorry to those who have heard that story before.

Aci - love the idea of a thread school. Please add ds to the register.

I fear the counting to 10 target is not hiding something else more complicated. It might stretch as far as counting out 10 items rather than just reciting but even so.

The one that makes me laugh is the print goes from left to right. Ds had a nursery teacher who raised this target but he could read simple sentences at that stage. I was at the time.

I remember that thread

Still frightened of you all though. I can't spell and know nothing of grammer grammar or owt like that.

Have arranged to see teacher later re lack of reading book changes and questions about what ds actually learns in there for numeracy and reading given his starting point. What do I say please - anyone?

Was thinking of "he is really keen and loves the books and words but would like them changed more [true]. Also I just wondered how reading is being taught to take account of different standards. Does he get to read individually [happened once so far since Sept! So I know the answer but need to tread carefully]?"

Sound ok? I shall probably forget all that and get flustered and mumble. How pathetic am I?

I did know about the reason for your name .

I'd say that sounds a good start - I would probably also start getting flustered and mumble.

I need to have a discussion with DS's teacher about a few things - there were various things to do with the class going on before Christmas that I'd like to discuss more (sorry for obliqueness but got found in a previous name by another mum in DS's class and so still feeling a little affected by that). But am sure I will waffle when I do get round to it.

DD has another small friend coming here after school. It is at least good for my tidying standards (ie making sure that people can get into her bedroom )

I'd play on the 'starting point'. That he came to school in a different place to others. So the message is not

Now look here. You do nothing. Step it up

More like

I know am deluded mother of very bright child who I think will sit exams early ...please bear with me. You know how he came to school being able to read a good amount of words [implies they do they they might not] well I wondered how that was going. Is he still moving forward? He's asking to read Dickens Snail and the Whale to me and I don't know if I should encourage him to move up the levels so quickly.

Whadyathink?

[implies they do even though they might not]

Acinonyx, I think it's a very good idea to speak to the teacher. She ought to be aware of your dd's difficulties - and surely reception is mostly about helping them to learn to navigate group situations?

At any rate, that's our school's perspective, and I fully approve. It sounds as though it operates quite differently from a lot of yours, which is interesting. Dd isn't being given words to learn or numeracy targets or anything like that. Instead their homework is much more project-like, so they can interpret it however they want and it is I suppose mostly about the process. It's an excellent school (rated 'outstanding' by Ofsted) and I trust them.

grammer - do you think it is possible that your teacher has a similar perspective to our school's? Maybe she isn't placing that much importance on learning words etc? Might be worth investigating if you will be having The Chat. Fwiw, I think dd is getting on quite well with this approach. I don't have the impression that she is being 'taught' very much (though of course a 5yo's account of what goes on during the day is a bit of a fractured version) but somehow she does seem to know more and more. And I think (anxious fingers crossed) that she is getting better at socialising.

Oh bother, in the process of adding things to my post I seem to have made it sound as though I was saying our school is better than all of yours. That wasn't what I meant. I have put sentences in the wrong places I think. Sorry.

I'm going to speak to her teacher today and hope my friend can keep dd in the play ground. There will be another mummy waiting a turn after me so I will need to be quick.

We don't have lists of workds or anything like that but dd's books do get changed up to twice/week. I think it's not too much to expect to get books changed at least one/week and 2 twice/week is about as much as we can manage. IIWY grammer I would definitley ask for the books to be changed regularly.

Do they have a library they can choose books from? Dd chooses a book every 2 weeks from the library.

OOOOOh Goooood we don't even have books!!

But school has best results in the area and rates as mostly goods odd satisfactory so they must have a plan.

Aranea - I didn't read that in your message at all. If the schook gets outstanding reports rhn it does and there it is.

Acinonyx - I'd talk about the social thing for sure. If only to reassure yourself, you may hear good things. The teacher would want to know, I think.

Aranea - didn't sound like that at all.

It's all well and good having alternative, new fangled plans which might well work fantastically, however some schools need to be better at communicating this to the parents who usually do expect the 3Rs, albeit in a play-based way. Sounds like Aranea, your school is pretty good at this.

If they are properly doing EYFS this is hard for parents to fathom and then they should have learning goals for each child. I've no idea what ds' ones are. And yes for them to change his book more than the current 'now and then when we get round to it but we might forget for a week sometimes' type of approach. He finished his current batch of tricky words two weeks before they broke up for Christmas. 'Tis just a bit crap imho.

Anyway will stop ranting and boring about this. Hope chat sorts it out later.

That's a really interesting post grammerpolice. I am going to mull that over for up and coming parents eve.

Does anyone here know what their dc's learninggoals are? Or when they are set?

I think schools aren't always great at communicating. Having had DS in the class that DD is in now, I have a pretty good idea of what is likely to happen. We also od have booklets telling us what will happen over the terms and get weekly letters in the home school diary saying what they are going to be doing the next week etc (think the home school diaries came in part way through DS being in that class).

Have no idea about learning goals for DD (a little early I would say for her of course) or DS actually. I think there is generally a parents' evening some time this term.

They are cracking on with jolly phonics letters - did c and k today (and I was given a lovely rendition by the two small girls here).

Speaking of which I have hardly seen them for about 45 min. Which is good in a peace type of way, but I am wondering if I should investigate a little bit...

Actually, I think this is at the bottom of how quite a few of us feel.

I'm in half a mind to raise it with the head. They are trying so hard to do the EYFS thing properly but haven't actually told parents much about the approach or shared each child's profiles. A recipe for parents thinking their child isn't learning anything and being disgruntled with the school.