We are the festive receptionists' mothers - we bring shepherds, aliens and travelling cribs to a nativity play near you

[mistletoemulledwinemoodlum]

This is our new festive thread ladies.

Hi ladies - sorry I can't keep up posting but I do read the thread.
grammar - There is very little info between school & home here too. If anything they seem to presume that all parents know the score as a large proportion of the class do have older siblings. Ok for those but not for the rest of us who are first timers.

My dd still hasn't had a proper reading book, she has a word tin that new words are added to twice a week. At parents eve in oct they said dd was in top group for literacy & to expect reading books home soon. They seem to have changed their mind, according to dd all the other tables have reading books but hers (the youngest ones) haven't had any yet. Dd has it in her head now that she isn't very clever

Aci - Sorry to hear your dd is struggling with the playtimes. My dd said yesterday that she didn't play with anyone at morning break so she followed the teacher round instead. They've not played out properly since before xmas because of the weather, think my dd tends to play with different kids in the playground to when she's in the classroom so think she's been at a bit of a loss. Also her best friend in her class is on holiday this week, dd often complains about said freind that she's too bossy & won't let her play with any others. Think this week will be make or break either she'll enjoy the freedom of playing with others or she'll be so pleased to have her friend back on monday. Know what you mean about the playground too, I'm a bit lost without said best friends mum. She is also an "outsider" so wasn't at school or is related to the other mums. She makes me feel normal, so suppose me & my dd are in the same boat this week!

Everyone else hi - better go & pick up my little one!

Poor you roundabout if all the mums know each other - that must be hard.

I would be about the tables being organised by age if your dd is ready for books.

Yes, my best mummy friend is an outsider like me too. I think my dd is like our dd's best friend!

I spoke to her teacher who was not aware that things had changed. We discussed some possible things she could do to help/encorouge dd to branch out.

On the way home asked her what she did at play time and after lunch. She said both times she sat on the buddy bench 'and I waited and waited but nobody came'.

There is a bit more to the saga but like a pp said - best to avoid too much detail, just in case.

I am thinking about inviting a new friend over. Thing is I am not feeling really up to it myself just at the moment. People seem to be doing unaccompanied playdates now and dd definitley isn't ready for that.

We have never had a playdate. Too much to ask of granny and grandad, I think - I don't get home until nearly 5pm.

I am surprised how well Boy has settled in really. Probably just me projecting my own primary school experience, and assuming it would be the same for him - which is daft really. He's not into football or rough play, but seems to have found some kindred spirits (and likes playing with the girls).

The "targets" thing is tricky. I am aware that he's still only four (just) and there's no rush, but it seems a shame not to encourage him in areas that he's keen on. The newsletter said "this term we will move on to counting in 2s and counting in 10s" He can do that too. And I'm not mathematically hothousing the boy at home, I just can't seem to stop him counting!

Acinonyx - they need to sort their buddy bench system out! Hopefully teacher will be on the case and help your daughter to feel happier at play times.

Did you see the teacher grammer? How did it go? It does sound as though there is at the very least a problem with communication.

Acinonyx, that is awful. Your poor little dd. It's obviously a very good thing that you've spoken to the teacher. They should be helping her. I'm sure you're right that inviting a new friend over would help. My dd is reluctant to do unaccompanied playdates, but others still come unaccompanied to ours and that seems to work fine. In fact I think she has had such a nice time with her unaccompanied friends that she is teetering on the brink of doing it herself now.

Hello roundabout! I hope your dd gets a reading book soon.... I would be furious if my dd was made to feel that she wasn't clever. It sounds very badly handled. Surely they shouldn't be aware of who is doing what within the class?

Golgi - your ds sounds really similar to mine who also plays with the girls and isn't into rough play at school (occasionally he'll get a bit 'rough and tumble' with his older cousin or his dad). So when our thread school opens maybe they can be best mates!

Spoke with the teacher. It was tricky as she was dashing off to a meeting and ds was constantly interrupting. Basically books and tricky words thing is solved (again not going into details as I might be identified if the TA or teacher are on here - unlikely but you never know!) The books will be changed more often. But we didn't talk about what he's learning in class and the way teaching is being done as there wasn't time.

She was very nice and is aware of where he's at but frankly the underlying message was she can't do much in class at ds's level so I need to do it at home.

p.s. Acin - hope things improve with dd - keep us posted. Do all the children also know each other from outside of school stuff in the same way the mums do? I bet that doesn't help.

Aranea & Aci - My dd had her first unaccompanied playdate last week. It was with her best friend in class (the fellow outsider) but still was a big thing as it's the first time she's gone to a new house with someone without me. The mum asked if I wanted to drop dd off myself or if she would be ok going home with them. I asked dd & was fully expecting her to ask me to take her there but she surprised me by saying she'd go on her own. She was very proud of herself about it & I was proud of her too as said friends house seems to be very full on, lots of older half sisters & teenagers hanging around. Not sure if she's be happy going with anyone else though. They seem to be so young to do that by themselves.

I forgot to kiss and cuddle DD this morning . She and DS line up in different parts of the playground and we go past her line first so she went there and I took DS to his line. Usually the youngest ones take a bit longer to go in but in the two minutes it took me to go to DS's line and come back they had gone in.

She did say when I picked her up that I need to kiss and cuddle her before I go to DS's line. Will try to remember....

I think because we're in a village and most of the children starting with DD have been to the village pre-school, they do know each other quite well. Possibly to the two (I think) other children and their mums we may all seem cliquey. Will talk to other people - am not the most confident person but can see it must be a little bit not so nice for them to feel outsider ish.

DD is quite happy with going on playdates. Mostly with her best friend although has been on others (without me). I still find it a bit odd, but she seems happy.

She said another girl in her class got her first reading book yesterday. I am worried about my competitive mummyness as a tiny bit of me was wondering why not DD (who seems to have more of a grasp of letters than DS at the same stage). But remembered (a) it doesn't matter (b) she will get one in her own time and (c) I am being a bit daft

Doctor this afternoon and then dentist with both children after school. DH has yet another evening function. Good thing I am quite happy to be on my own in the evenings.

Have waffled on about nothing quite impressively there

Noah - Sounds like your dd is doing really well. My dd has been happy to go on playdates to friends houses for ages but isn't quite so confident about others, I think it's not knowing the mums as she is quite quiet. lol at your competitive mummyness, I remember at the beg of term the teacher saying that the children will get a reading book or word tin when they are ready but not to be alarmed if it took a while for your child to get one. At the time I was thinking how silly to worry that your child is not the first. A few months later I was feeling the same as you are now, tbh still am a bit! My dd missed out on her goodbye kiss this morning too, I took her into to school early as she needed the toilet, when we came out the bell had gone & the kids were hanging coats up etc. I was just about to kiss dd goodbye when the teacher came up & whisked her off me, I think she thought she was being clingy. Didn't have chance to explain & so dd has missed out on her goodbye ritual of a kiss & hug (me) & then 3 kisses & a hug to my bump.

Grammer - Sounds like you got a few things sorted with the teacher. In my dd's class they stay on age tables until the summer term when they move around & it's all based on ability. I'm sure my dd will find it a huge trauma moving tables though!

Aranea - I think my dd is very conscious of what everyone else is doing as she desparately wants to be "normal". I was talking to another mum & her dd isn't aware of anything that the others are doing at all. I think it may be time to speak to the teacher about it. Dd did say that she will get a book once she learns a few more words - don't know whether this is her wishful thinking or what she's been told though!

Grammer-glad to see you managed to have a word with the teacher but boo to her not being able to do more in class with him...surely thats what she is there for???

Ds absolutely adores this supply teacher they've got and keeps saying he doesn't want "his" teacher to come back...that could be interesting! The supply one is lovely and a little bit more "fluffy" than his teacher so can totally understand why he likes her. He also loves playing with girls and absolutely hates rough play (apart from with daddy!) so can he join your gang too please???!!! The whole class has apparently been partnered up so they've each got a person to do stuff with and its boy/girl...most of the other boys were whinging and DS thinks its fab! He has made a lovely friend who is a boy very similar so they tend to do lots of stuff together which is nice!

Lol Noah on the competitive mummy thing...I have to keep reminding myself it doesn't matter as well!

DS has got a party to go to after school tonight and I don't honestly know why he has been invited as him and the little boy don't really get on so should be interesting!

Haven't done the whole playdate thing yet...well apart from playing outside in the snow but that doesn't really count does it!! Am working myself up to that one!

I am sort of waiting for things to go pear-shaped with DD - I do remember with DS he had wobbles after a few weeks. Have to remind myself they're not the same child but don't want to feel complacent about DD being fine at the moment.

Nearly time to go to school and then dentist. Need to drive to school so can drive to dentist. Feel a bit bad as it is less than half a mile away but don't drive there v often.

Most of the other children were at preschool together (as were the mums!) but there are a few like dd and she has tended to play with those kids - until they have branched out and dd hasn't. I think I am much more upset by the whole situation than dd is. Like dd though, I feel I've exhausted my enthusiastic bonhomie in the first term and fell no more like branching out into new mummy territory than dd does.

Grammer - I do think they could try a bit harder there. Dc are at school 6 hours/day so surely it is not too much to expect that they actually receive appropriate educational input during that time and it is not entirely left to the parents?

I am pretty satisfied with dd's school on this account (good job as we moved house, heaven and earth to get her in here) although I admit I don't EXACTLY know what she is doing. But I do know that they are doing some work in groups now (although dd has absolutely no idea that these might be related to ability) and has a good system for reading and books.

Also, as long as she is happy and not bored (which she isn't, and doesn't at all mind doing phonics etc) I will not release the educationally obsessed parent in me until next year.

I am concerned, with some reason, wrt dd's social skills. We are always being told not to worry our feathery parental heads about academic progress as primary is all about socialisation. Well then, I beg you dear school, get on and socialise my child!

Noah - that's great that your dd is loving school and I hope it continues indefinitely. I really expected problems last term but there weren't any - but the problems this term are no surprise really.

Acinonyx, oh bless your DD sitting on the buddy bench and nobody came
You're so right about the socialisation focus.

Wednesdays are when I go in and help out in DD's class. I'm really enjoying it more and more - it helps that I've sussed all the names now. And I find it reassuring as I can see DD being happy in the class - and she is just now too.
They had prospective parents visiting - I can't believe that was a year ago we went and looked around the schools!

No school today. Or at least not yet as there is no water in our village. And hence no school.

Think the children and I will invade my sister's house (about 15 min away and hopefully with water ).

Paisley - even more scary - the thought they actually finish in six months time and then a couple of months later will be in year one!

Aconinyx, your poor little DD. Oh lord, my eyes are welling up just thinking about it! Let's hope the teacher sorts things out. I'm so glad to have twins as my girls can be so shy I think they'd struggle to make friends if they didn't have eachother. They have been adopted by the bigger girls in school so they play with them at lunchtime.

Our school is full on with the three r's. And my girls are struggling to recognise simple words which the school feels they should have learnt by now. But they're only 4 and a half for goodness sake, one of my DD's was wearing a 3-4 year old jumper this morning and I thought how little it seemed to be a school clothing jumper...

Noahandthewhale - I feel bad all morning if I haven't kissed DD's goodbye. We arrived late last week and they ran in and I didn't get to say goodbye - felt a bit hollow and sad all morning!

School opened at 10. Luckily children were dressed - at 9:50 I wasn't but by 10:05 we were at school .

There are normally 11 in DD's nursery part of class - today there were 4 - 3 with older brothers or sisters. I am more impressed at the other one being there .

Have decided DD is not traumatised at lack of kiss yesterday as she nearly left today without realising I needed the kiss and cuddle. Luckily her teacher pointed it out

Noah - your dd is more robust than my ds who is still insisting on a set number of kisses at drop off. I hope I won't be doing this when he's 14! at you being the one who needs the kiss/ cuddle.

Similarly I'm shying away from playdates where I drop ds at a friend's house alone as I will miss him when he's been at school all day and want to catch up . Have given in to one next Tues but will feel sad.

Are any of you leaving your DC at birthday parties yet?

My girls are August babies and hate being left at parties and to be honest it's really nice to see them enjoying the magician/pass the parcel etc whilst I chat to the other mums. But I have a feeling I will soon be the only mum that stays!

Oooh, no, I don't think dd1 would be happy at being left at a party. Mind you, she refuses to play most party games anyway, so she may not be representative. Pass the parcel is about her limit.

grammer, I feel exactly the same as you about not seeing dd1 after school. She hasn't done an unaccompanied playdate yet, but she does do classes after school which I don't get to watch, and it feels very strange parcelling her off again when I've only just got her back at the end of the school day. And dd2 hates it.

paisley, how nice to be able to help out on a regular basis. I'm going in for a morning to help but have no idea what I'll be doing (apart from walking around with a limpet stuck to my leg presumably).

Noah - your dd sounds incredibly confident and relaxed about the whole thing! I hope it lasts. I know what you mean about the possibility of it all going wrong after a flying start - that happened with dd1 at nursery and then again at school.

thegrammerpolice - crikey I know! Year 1! I still feel like our lot are new.

Hatty, are your twins in a class together? They seem to like to separate them these days.

No, we had a couple of parties last term and I stayed. No playdates yet - no one seems to be doing playdates actually, so I guess all the mums are feeling pretty much the same.
DD keeps asking, "can so and so come to play one day", and I say "yes, one day" - maybe the summer term when it's lighter longer we'll feel more up for it.

What after school stuff is your DD doing Aranea?
I'm trying to get DD to join the African drumming group - I used to do it in a group with the same teacher and really miss it (It's quite expensive for me to go and I find evening difficult as DH usually working). I could perhaps stay on and help out at the school, which I'd love - but DD doesn't want to know at the moment.

How interesting, everyone seems to be madly playdating here. Dd1 does ballet and music, which sounds very Victorian now I've written it down! She has no natural aptitude for either, which is why I think it's great that she's keen to go.

DD does ballet and music here as well . And swimming. But we do have afternoons to do things in (although ballet is after school ie 4pm).

I still find the sight of her in ballet outfit quite amusing - she does not look exactly Darcey Bussell-like.