How to talk about DD's abilities without sounding irritating/precious

[clemette]

Dear all,
DD (4.5) starts full-time in reception in January. She is almost the only one that won't have been to the school pre-school/ attended part-time this autumn.
The pre-school that she is at keep stressing to us that her abilities are unusually high for her age, but TBH I am not sure if they are. She can count to 100, count back from 30, count to 20 in French, can do addition and subtraction, read simple words, write clearly etc etc Most of this she has learnt a her very small pre-school.
Anyway, we went to the open evening for her new school and the reception teacher was talking about how they were working with the children to identify shapes. I was wondering whether it was worth phoning the teacher to talk about what DD can do, or whether I should just trust their professionalism to see that she might be a little beyond what they are doing with the majority.
I don't think she is G+T particularly (and working in secondary education realise that children often even out eventually). I also don't want to present myself as an ultra pushy parent, as we have really tried not to be and let DD develop as she will.
I just wondered if anyone had any advice?
Thanks.

Shut up and wait.

Give it til the first parent's evening (usually about 6 to 10 weeks into it). Let the teacher find her own way with your DD and then let her report back to you at parent evening. If she/he doesn't seem to have cottoned on to your DD - have the chat then.

In my experience, a half way decent reception teacher will have her sussed fairly quickly.

I agree with Doodlez. At least give the school teachers chance to assess dd for themselves
They will soon see if she has abilities above the norm for her age group. You will come across as a pushy parent if you contact the teacher IMO. Give them a chance to assess her and if you feel she's not being challenged enough once she's well into reception, then you can ask to speak to someone about things but I expect you'll probably find that they will be on the ball.
You'll get feedback at the parents evening and if there's anything that needs to be done in terms of advancing her further, they'll speak to you about it.
Not sure if there's anything you have mentioned that makes my chin fall to the floor in amazement but it sounds like your dd will do well if she's enthusiastic.Hope she enjoys it!

Most primary schools arrange for all parents of new children to have a meeting with the teacher before the child starts. If this isn't standard at the school, I would certainly ask to meet with the teacher and just go over classroom routines etc but also (as nonchalently as possible) ask about how the teacher and support staff cater for children with differing needs and - not to say your daughter is a genius (although she sounds pretty switched on to me)- how they keep pupils challenged.

The teacher will probably ask what your child's particular strengths and interests are and I don't think you should be afraid to say.

Thank you. I think I am definitely suffering with all of my experience being in the secondary sector, where we meet so many children in a day it often takes TOO long to assess their true ability. But I will hang fire.
Madamefreckle, they don't have individual meetings, just the hour info evening today and a 2 hour visit (when 60 children will be in reception!) I think it is because almost every child has a term part-time before going full-time, but she won't have as we both work full-time.
Thanks for the responses - my brain seems to have turned to anxious mush as school starting approaches.

The pre-school will send on a report of where your DD is up to.

There's far far more to reception than the academic side so I'd be more worried about the social side at this stage - so will she be overwhelmed, make friends, be happy. Really hope she loves it though. Good luck!

Agree with all the other advice.

FWIW, my DS is just a couple of months older than your DD, and he can do all the things you listed. I definitely don't think he is G+T! He starts school next year also, and the curriculum leaflet we got said that they would spend the first term learning to count to 10, then 20 etc, and writing basic letters. I have no doubt that they will see that he (and presumably many other children that will be in his class) can already do these things, and maybe give them a different task. Isn't that why there are teaching assistants in each class, to help the children who are struggling/finding it too easy?

I wouldn't worry.

DSM, if you are lucky, the things you mention will happen. On the other hand, my DS who was a decent reader before he started school came home in despair half way through Year 1 saying they had spent the literacy hour doing 'ch'.

The joys of whole class teaching for lit/num hours was enthusiastically embraced by this school, so for 2 of the 4 hours learning a day he sat about doing things he had been able to do for three years.

We moved schools.

For a child who is interested in learning there is plenty to keep them occupied in infants. They don't spend all day learning to read/write and numbers. Going on my dcs' reception classes your dd won't be the only one at that level.

The pre-school should send a report to the reception school. I don't know how efficiently this happens, but it should happen. My ds1 changed school part way through Reception (we loved the previous school, but moved house) and although they sent a report to the new school, I think the new school chose to depend upon their own assessment instead. It took about one month for them to find his level. It was very frustrating at first for him to be sent home with books far below his reading ability, but we read them so that we could sign off his reading record, and then read something else more to his liking. Once they found his level the books leapt up - no making him work through the levels - and he was much more challenged and interested.

If after maximum half a term you or your dd are not happy with the level of work she is doing, then talk to the teachers. But give them a chance to work it out for themselves first.

I could have written your post in about August (ds started in September but is the same age as your dc).

I don't think what she can do is off the scale but it is probably 'ahead' of average.

I echo what others have said. I know from personal experience that your probably keen to ensure she learns at her pace etc. and that's understandable but you need to trust the teacher and be a little patient for a few weeks while they're all settling in, while the teacher gets to know where they're all at.

The first few weeks ds (very similar to your dc when he started except a bit less able with writing and a bit more able with reading from the sounds of it) didn't learn anything new in academic terms but he had a fabulous time doing fun activities, settling in. I'm glad the teachers didn't rush it.
By about half term they had got to know him and started sending appropriate level books home, didn't make him do the tricky words he already new and ensured he was learning. Of course the whole class stuff is often about something he already knows but it's done in such a fun way he isn't bored and the teacher says she differentiates a bit by asking the ones like this slightly harder questions.

My advice is be a little patient and it'll be better in the longer term, and be realistic - she won't sit learning new academic things all day that are perfectly atuned to her level but she should still progress.

Message withdrawn

The pre-school haven't even asked which school she is going to!
Have people found a difference between how "state" preschools manage this, and how pre-schools in private nurseries do it?
Note to self - ask at nursery later!

clemette honestly relax for now. Let her start, then see if she's happy and thriving. You'll more than get a sense of the school when she's there.

I don't think that your child sounds exceptionally able. A lot of children this age can add/subtract etc.

I am sure that reception will work it out fairly quickly.

I know that our dds reception pretty quickly worked out the capabilities of everyone and - though they go on about phonics - the better readers were quickly well into reading schemes.

We're a term into year one and a few children are about to become free readers.\

As for state versus private pre-schools. We experienced both and they follow the same curriculum. But we always saw pre-school as a chance to socialise and play and weren't really bothered about what they did as long as they were busy and happy.

Lol - I will try to relax!
All of her friends started other schools in September so I have had a few months of second hand information, which has probably contributed to my fever pitched state (as has my own control-freak personality).
Also, DD's behaviour has deteriorated dramatically since her peers left nursery and she has essentially taken on the role of "helper" with the little ones at nursery. I am sort of pinning my hopes on the fact that a new challenge may cheer her up a bit!
Thanks to everyone for their replies.

Just re-read my post and I meant knew not new and you're not your. And I call myself the grammerpolicesic??!

Let the teacher have the pleasure of discovering what her new class can do and what they're like. If you go in pre-empting her discovery of what your daughter can do you might look as though you see yourself in the driving seat and that you'll be breathing down her neck all year. Not a good first impression!

Obviously if as time goes on you feel her needs aren't being met then you should raise that, later on though.

She will be fine! I'm a primary school teacher and can tell you that if she is indeed G&T then she will have an IEP (Individual education plan) which will be written by her teacher and seen by the SENCO/INCO and yourslelf and signed by yourself and your daughter. Children all come into school with baseline assessments, in order for a school to do well in OFSTED inspections they have to show that they are 'adding value' therefore if your daughter fails to make the expected progress this looks very bad on the schools results so don't worry it won't happen!

Let the teacher get to know her new class. I am sure whe will pick up on your daughters capabilities and will be given differentiated work (If you can call it that in Foundation!) she will probably be taken out for small group work too with a TA with other higher ability children.

Thanks again. Can i just stress that I don't think she is G&T (I am not a fan of the label even if she turns out to be very able). I just think she is bright, excited about school and desperate to find out new things.

I really wouldn't worry about it-the new intake will have a huge range of abilities-the teacher will be assessing them.

clemette - I think to start with the "school" thing in general is so new that it's a challenge in itself, and agree with the advice to give it a while to let her settle in.

The boy started in September, and is loving it. Although we've had no books home yet, at all, and he's spent a lot of time doing t-t-t-t- and a-a-a-a- (phonics sounds, which he knows already, as he can read simple words) - he is having a great time, isn't bored at all.

He's learning all sorts of new skills like "getting changed for PE" and "how to play in the playground with all the big children". That'll do for the moment.

Am keeping an eye on it though - teacher at parents' meeting said "we are going to start adding and subtracting one soon" and I thought hmmm.......he might get a bit bored there.....but I'm sure he'll let her know.

rosierosanna - eh??? all three of mine have been on G&T register and I've never once seen an IEP for them because they're G&T (we've never even officially been told, it's just been mentioned in passing at parents' evenings/annual reviews - both boys have statements)

clemette - I hope your dd enjoys reception - most kids have a blast, but if she stays 'ahead' you may need to keep on top of things as she goes through the school

Mimsum - There doesn't have to be an IEP in place but it seen as good if there is. Teachers don't actually have to write IEP's unless there are external agencies involved, ed: Dyslexic child has someone come in each week for 1:1's or a child has SALT. That may be why your children haven't had one. At my school we do things by the book so we write them for all children whether they are what we call SA+ (school action plus, outside agencies involved) or SA (school action)or SC (school concern). To be honest it's just paper for papers sake but looks good when seen by inspectors etc. So don't worry!

I'm a primary school teacher and can tell you that if she is indeed G&T then she will have an IEP (Individual education plan) which will be written by her teacher and seen by the SENCO/INCO and yourslelf and signed by yourself and your daughter.

That's complete and utter nonsense.

It never ceases to amaze me how little most primary teachers know about G&T and how misinformed the others are.

Being on the G&T register does not automatically mean that she will have an IEP.

Being on the G&T register does not mean a DC will get anything at all.

And large numbers of schools operate illegally in that they do not even identify the G&T pupils in the school.

Just thought I'd mention that in case people reading your post got complacent and thought they could trust schools to do the right thing for their G&T DC!