is private REALLY better?

[ChuppaChups]

just out of interest, i would appreciate some OPINIONS on this area as i am seriously considering the move to private from state. The main reason being is we are now financially able to do so.

So, is it better and why?

Thanks

morning everyone!
Please confirm this with me seeker- if your child did not fit in at a state school for whatever reason and there was a fantastic private school down the road which you could afford & which you knew would be able to help your child, you would say NO?

When I briefly relented over an independant education I did so for religious reasons. Having taught in a faith school I felt they paid lip service to providing a Catholic education and I could see the attraction of an independant Catholic education where she would be immersed in her faith. Dp just wanted dd to have the best which in his opinion at that time was an independent education. He now sees that dd gets a quality education and a wealth of life experiences here through the state system and through him being at home enabling her to do lots of activities.

You could say we have bought that advantage, although we live on my standard teachers wage and his small part time wage, so we are not talking great wealth just simple living.

It is interesting, a friend told me that ST Paul's and all these top schools select the parents as well as the child. Tells us something about the importance of parental input.

Parents who are lucky to have a choice should also be sensitive to the fact that some state school parents don't have a choice so when we talk about state schools esp to our children . One of my daughter's friends told her all sorts of things about state school education in relation to which I had to disabuse her.

karise - I don't know, of course, how I would react if my child was really very unhappy. . What I hope I would do is explore all the options the school could provide, then if necessary try another state school. I hope that I would be able to sort out whatever the problem was.

I wouldn't sacrifice my child for my political beliefs on this issue, if that's what you are asking - in the extremely unlikely event of the only school my child could possibly be happy at was a private one, then I would have to go down that route. But I just don't think that would happen.

It can happen as we found out to my horror!
I was all for DD going to the local primary & have worked with them for 3 years to try to make things happier for my DD- some children just need the smaller class sizes and more attention than state is able to offer! I feel very sorry for anyone in our situation who cannot stretch their finances!

All I'm saying is that it's very easy to make judgements about people's choices when you don't know the effect particuluar schools have on whole families!
I do know of a couple of state schools out of catchment where I think she would be happy- I would not move to get into them though as I don't think this would be very fair on others!

"All I'm saying is that it's very easy to make judgements about people's choices when you don't know the effect particuluar schools have on whole families!"

I don't think I was making judgements,was I?

Karise, it was, I'm afraid, you, who said earlier in the thread - "I think the longer a bright child is left in state, the more they will fall behind their potential."

If that's not making judgements about people's choices i don't know what is!!!!!!!!

karise Fri 24-Jul-09 19:45:03

I think the longer a bright child is left in state, the more they will fall behind their potential.

This does not sound like a parent who would be happy to educate their child in the state sector whatever the location.

I have a bright child who is thriving in the state sector but I don't rely on the state sector to do everything for her. We know she is a maths and science whizz so dp does a lot with her, we take her to museums things like the Edinburgh science show. She loves arts and design so my sister paints with her, I make clothes with her. She is interested in history so we take her on lots of trips, read with her.

I know there is good in the independent sector, I nearly used it myself. There is also good in the state sector but often relies on parents to top up. It is very often possible to create for your child the best start in life by putting in time and effort.

seeker- given all the other constraints that we fae in day to life (moving house, job, other DCs etc.), one doesn't have as much choice over schools as your reply to karise suggests.

Over all I do admire your principled stand. I would go along with it if ALL others did but not prepared to do if others are able to "jump the queue".

I also have two bright children who are thriving in the state sector. To imply that children can't flourish there is quite frankly bonkers.

For many, many parents (far, far more than this thread implies) state is the only option available and to dismiss the entire state educational system as unable to meet the needs of bright pupils is to deny the bloody good work that schools and teachers up and down the country are doing every day for a whole variety of pupils, including extremely bright ones.

Seeker - you speaketh sense, as always. FlatCap - why, so do you!

Feenie - if you're still around, thanks for your earlier comments.

I actually said in my experience...
It is due to our current situation that I have come to this opinion in our area!
I will not apologise for this opinion & if you have a fantastic state school which could cope with our DD I still believe you have a rare gem!
If you remember I also explained that not all bright/g&t children fail in state, just the specific kind our DD has..

janiete- so the state system fails nobody then? Maybe in an ideal world but certainly not in Britain! Most of our disaffected teenagers are bright intelligent people who have just become lost in a less than perfect education system. Sad, but that is life!

Back after the f1!

karise did you say what you teach?
and has your DD actually started PS yet?

karise- yes F1 comes first

I didn't sy that - I say that it doesn't, as a given, fail bright children, which is what certain comments on here (your own included) have implied; as though only private education will allow bright pupils to meet their potential.

Did you justify your comments about how peris are better than normal teachers at all? "I am a peri by the way often dreaded by primary teachers for waking the children's brains up & making lessons too much fun"

Of course the state sector fails people, no system is going to suit everyone. I also know there are some awful state schools in this country, I have flogged myself to near death in one.

But I have friends whe have been failed by the independent sector and other friends whose children have been failed by the independent sector. But I would not say in my experience the indendent sector fails children. I would recognise that is one or two cases out of thousands.

I am a teacher who chooses to teach in the state sector and a parent who chooses to educate her child in the state sector ( and I am lucky to have that choice), it is therefore not surprising that I am a believer in state education. I hope I would never assume a school is better simply because it is fee paying or state funded. I prefer to judge schools individually.

I am very proud to teach in a school that provides an excellent education and life experiences for all of its pupils regardless of their family income or background. We take pupils from council estates and huge houses with swimming pools. Infact I often sit and listen to to my tutor group in wry amusement at the diversity within one room and love to see them mixing. Of course there are things I would love to improve in my school, but I have colleagues who teach in independent schools and grammar schools who would also like to improve things.

I don't think it's a case of the State system or the Independent system failing children it's down to individual schools not suiting individual children. We all want the best for our child/ren and it's very easy to get a blinkered opinion that all schools are the same.

Not better or worse just better suited

janeite and others are quite right to keep pointing out the skewed nature of the debates on here which make private/state look like a simple "choice" with about 50/50 support.

In reality, 93% of people use the state system and the vast majority have no "choice". The answer is not to giver people more "choice" but to give people a system where such spurious "choices" are unnecessary.

very good points Unquiet dad.

karise - hope you aren't supporting Alonso! Bad day at the office. Lewis going well and the helping Button's case. Will have to have a F1 thread for the next race.

Just for reference

those regional statistics again

If anyone has anything more recent than 2006 please shout.

I want the system changed but whilst the system as it is, i am willing to risk wasting my money; this summarises my position.

Unquiet - some of the experts/ususal suspects on this subject should prepare a "Commonly Argued Positions" proforma bust up on this subject and post it whenever it comes up.

The OP says "is private REALLY better?" I met my best friend at university. We were doing the same course, although she was a couple of years below me. We got the same GCSE and A Level results (A Levels were same subjects bar one) and both ended up with 2.1s for our degrees. Her education, prior to university, cost her parents thousand of pounds. My schooling came courtesy of the state system. Therefore, I can say that IME, the answer is no, private is not REALLY better.

I much prefer the state system-I think it is very good to have a social mix at a young age.