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Primary education

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Original poster

WWYD - am Catholic and want DS to go to a Catholic School but don't go to church 'enough'

33 replies

LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:29

I am Catholic, went to Catholic schools, DSs are Baptised and I do go to Church but this school says you must go at least two times a month for the past year. I have depression and find it hard to go - and I go because I want and not just to get into a school. Applications are Sept or Nov (can't find definate info) and it has a tick box for criteria - you have to tick if you meet this. What can I do? I am a practising Catholic and it means alot to me that he goes to this school, but I haven't "shown my face" enough Shall I include a little note? Just not tick it? If I don't tick it, he is 'just' a Baptised child from a non practising family - far down the list. I am so worried about this - I don't want to have to write a note saying that I'm ill etc.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 06/07/2009 16:32

Can you speak to your priest and ask his advice? Does he know that you are ill?

MaryBS · 06/07/2009 16:32

I would speak to the priest, and see if he'll write you a letter supporting your application.

AMumInScotland · 06/07/2009 16:33

Does your priest know you well enough, and your circumstances, to vouch for you as a "regular", even though you've not been as much recently? I would have thought they'd make some concession for people in that kind of situation. And personally, I'd tick the box and then wory about the detail later!

bigstripeytiger · 06/07/2009 16:33

Does the school have any other criteria eg special circumstances?
It sounds like you dont meet the criteria for attendance, but have reasons for that that the school might consider?

Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:40

He doesn't know I'm ill, not alot of people do. I am so embarrassed to bring this up. I have re-read the admissions form and it says you must prove evidence of worship, I guess that means the Priest writes a letter? He will recognise me, he is always chatting to DS1 when we do go...but I have only lived in this area for a few years anyway, I think my previous Priest may have passed away.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:42

I see nothing for special cicumstances - just in the event of too many applications in any catergory it comes down to distance.

OP posts:
JesuslovesCatholicSchools · 06/07/2009 16:44

truth is you could go unless depression regularly renders you physically disabled on a sunday. you need to make an effort. Sat night is better than sun morning imo.

But theres no doubting that its hard

Wheelybug · 06/07/2009 16:46

you will probably have to have a form filled in by the priest to say you meet the criteria. I amc of e and didn't meet strictly meet the criteria for our forms but I spoke to the vicar and he concluded we did fit (it was 2x month for 2 years and we'd attended for 2 years albeit with a yrs gap in the middle plus even in the last yr we'd had one period of non attendance due to dh being seriously ill in hospital.

If you#ve been going longer than the year and the prist knows you he may be willing to sign off. Particularly if you explain the circumstances.

Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:47

It actually affects me every day.

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Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:48

Thanks everyone, I'll just see him when he signs (or doesn't sign) the form - I can see where he signs now online.

OP posts:
JesuslovesCatholicSchools · 06/07/2009 16:49

If you can't get out of the house - then you should be in receipt of benefit for your disability.

if this is the case you can ring the priest and ask for communion - maybe have a chat at the same time.

pasturesnew · 06/07/2009 16:49

Priest could give you dispensation for missed masses I think if you ask. Also you could ask for sacrament of anointing the sick, it's not just used as "extreme unction" these days.

verygreenlawn · 06/07/2009 16:49

Is there a Mr LadyOfWaffle? I just wondered if you were a single parent and whether that would make a difference to your being able to attend church. Does it say one parent or both have to attend twice a month? I've had friends in a similar situation and they used to take turns taking their dcs to church so that one of the parents was able to go every week - obviously harder to do if there's just one of you?

Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:52

Jesus () I get DLA it's that ... disabling.

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PortAndLemon · 06/07/2009 16:53

How often do you actually go?

pasturesnew · 06/07/2009 16:54

Also no reason for your illness to go on the form, if priest is satisfied you are Catholic then his word should be enough that you are a practising Catholic for the purposes of the form.

If your DC can't get into a Catholic school, it's not the end of the world. Times have changed, first holy communion preparation is usually done mainly within the parish now rather than at school (and they don't even dress up for it any more - boo!)

I am practising Catholic but round here it will make no diff at all to schools for my kids as effectively all the church schools are closed clubs due to siblings. I think maybe 2 spaces per intake are actually free and assume they go to looked after baptised Catholic children.

Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:54

There is a Mr - he worked weekends until the last month and still does frequently & is non- Catholic, but the criteria is for at least one parent to be one.

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 16:56

varies - weekly if I am OK, then maybe a spell of once a month if I'm not...

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verygreenlawn · 06/07/2009 16:58

OK, so if you're effectively (at weekends) the only parent who could conceivably take your ds to church, I think that should be something you tell the priest - ie it's harder for you as a family to meet the criteria, surely?

Can you put on the form "no but we attend regularly" and then speak to the priest in confidence? It's not like you're asking him to lie or anything, just to say there are extenuating circumstances.

pasturesnew · 06/07/2009 16:59

Sounds OK for the school form then as if they take the average attendance, looks like you will be at 2x a month anyway. Appreciate you don't want to be dishonest but I don't think you would be in that case.

luckywinner · 06/07/2009 17:02

I haven't read your whole thread but I just wanted to let you know a friend of mine, who suffers from depression, included a letter from her psychiatrist with regards to her son's school application to a oversubscribed school. She is also catholic and of exactly the same view as you. She enjoyed going to church but was concerned that she had not attended enough. Her son has a place at the school starting September.

I think it is such a shame it comes down to numbers when proving your faith. It is the same at our school. But then that's another thread.

Original poster
LadyOfWaffle · 06/07/2009 17:10

Looking at the form I will physically have to give it to him to sign, so will have a talk with him then. Hopefully they school don't ask for 'proof' then (which I have) , it's quite degrading

Thanks everyone, got months to go yet so will try not to worry for now

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PortAndLemon · 06/07/2009 19:20

If you go a mixture of weekly then monthly then you probably do meet the twice a month criterion on average, particularly if you make a big effort to go weekly between now and September. So then you could just ask the priest to sign your form and you'll only need to discuss your depression or special circumstances with him if he raises an objection.

1dilemma · 06/07/2009 21:03

There have been some recent threads on this apparently priests/vicars etc have way of stating your committment so it is apparent how 'strong' it is to the admissions people!!!!!

One of our local Catholic churches has recently added a register just for those who need to get forms signed for school admissions although they do have a very logical argument that should the priest move on how will the replacement know

(Although it is a very good school!)

pastures it's worth checking if you want to go to a Catholic school, our LA publishes how many are admitted in each category and the number of looked after children is tiny most schools in most years don't have any IYSWIM

zanzibarmum · 07/07/2009 16:01

Admissions panel would need to be convinced by the evidence that your depression is so severe as to prevent you from attending. If your husband (or Mr) works weekends who looks after the DSs - again not clear why there are no mass times on Sun and Sat evening that would not work - though that depends on the medical evidence

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