shameless boast-ds has had his poem he wrote at school entered into a national competition. come tell me what you think of it! (he is dying to hear your opinions!)

[belcantwait]

he is 10.

here goes:

Going to the beach

I went to the beach on a windy day
BUt the colour had died. the magic was grey.
The tide had paused, but the wind still blew.
Inside me the anger grew and grew.
Then, when i was fit to burst,
I had not seen the very worst.
The dark swept over and covered the sea.
The only person there was me.
Above my head, a monochrome sky.
I lowered my head, and started to cry.

[proud mummy emoticon]
what do you think??? he values the mn opinion!

I think thats really good, well done to him!

thank you.
of course now he's been entered he is CONVINCED he will walk away with the bloody prize!

well he should!

good luck to him!

I think its amazing. well done to your ds!

V v good. You are right to be proud, and so should he be.
Good luck with the competition.

I think it is brilliant too...well done young man!

It's brilliant [although got a lump in my throat as emotional today]

He is very emotionally mature.

Oh well done to your DS. I was dreading this being a thread about that farking vanity publishers who do the My First Poem 'competiton' but this is completely different. Good luck.

Good luck to your DS in the competition. He's talented.

What a lovely poem.

How lovely

Sallright.

That is super.
Like solid, I was dreading it being one of those vanity comps, so I am glad it is not.
Fantastic poem.

Well done! (smile)

Sorry -I meant

Wow! First class poem - he deserves to win with it!

How lovely that he is so creative. I'd be proud too.

Brilliant! (and I'm a teacher so that really counts )

That is a lovely poem, really good. Best of luck with the comp.

Its an excellent poem but I hope you're not going to the seaside for your summer hols

'The magic was grey' - thats a really good line.

Wow - The rhyming format makes it innocent and child like thus making the sad, dark and meaningful content even more powerful. It made me shiver.

What a wonderfully talented boy!

It's excellent - I can assure you that my 10-year-old would have no idea that a word like monochrome exists!!

Fantastic!

I'm a teacher too, and used to teach kids your DS' age - not many of them could have produced something that mature at aged 10.

Good luck in the competition .

wow

I think it is about the end of childhood and beginning of the teen years - noticing for the first time the negative side of life and not liking it.

I'd like to know from the poet if I am right.