tutor for a six year old

[sprout2]

I am looking for a tutor for my six year old son to help with his numeracy, writing and spelling. I have looked for tutors in the past, and have not found them particularly engaging.

I really need someone who will make learning fun, and will in turn build his confidence in the classroom.

I live in Walthamstow, so a tutor living in east or north london would be ideal.

Well, it's a bit like how some people are naturally good at encouraging their children to speak but others could do with help from a Speech and Language expert.

Or you can consult a Dietician if you are concerned about how to help your child eat a varied diet.

Perhaps, reading that back, it should read encouraging their children to learn through play. But lots of people don't do the things described on this thread (doing a recipe with their child to help maths skills, playing rhyming games etc). What's wrong with trying to get some help to learn these approaches? Of course, the school should be providing the help... but this may be one of the things I suggest.

I suspect anyone who is so concerned about their child's education that they pay a tutor would almost certainly do those things at home already, Umlellala. The parents I know who don't do those things would certainly never pay anyone to do them.

Actually, lots of parents don't play with or talk to their kids full stop. This may seem unthinkable to you, but sadly, it is true. Would far rather see parents begin to play and talk with their children than pay a tutor to sit with them for an hour doing some textbook work.

I'm with you on that one Umlellala. I'm still wondering why the op didn't come back and answer my earlier question, whether she'd discussed this with the school?

Well, that's not necessarily true and suggests a limited experience, Feenie. Some parents search for a tutor because it's what they know- as a teacher I can suggest more appropriate things.

Anyway, going to leave this thread now as you have a picture of me that is very incorrect and I am going round in circles trying to correct it. If I tell you I am a teacher in Pupil Referral Units (for excluded kids) and work in Hackney and East London, does that change your view somewhat?

Why would it seem unthinkable to me?

My point is that the parnets who don't bother playing or talking to their children would not be the ones who would bother to pay for a tutor to do that for them.

Actually, this is starting to make me angry now. Before we know where we are everyone will be getting tutors in to teach them how to play with their children. It will be one more sodding thing to make people (for people read mothers) feel insecure and unsure of their parenting, and to make people who can't afford it feel guilty that they are letting their children down.

We have been paying a third year teaching student (specialising in key stage 1) to give two one hour long tutoring sessions to our ds (just 7) for the past 4 months.

He is a child who his teacher says has great difficulty sitting still and concentrating in class. The classroom environment really didn't suit him. He was starting to play the fool and to fall further and further behind in his literacy and numeracy. His self confidence was suffering badly and other kids were starting to call him stupid.

Since having this extra one to one help (to which he is fully able and gives his full focus with no problems at all for each hour) he has turned into a different child. He is buzzing when he comes out of his session and sings and dances around so very proud of himself.

His tutor is fantastic and they play all sorts of games, usually made up on scraps of paper or involving moving around the whole living room. The other day he was busy measuring everything in sight and we now have labels he has written saying eg 'shelf 50cm' stuck on absolutely everything!

And the poor bloody kids who don't have anyone to play with them or talk to them or sing with them still won't, while the angst ridden "worried well" will be helicoptering even closer over the heads of their little hothouse flowers. Bah!

And my 'limited experience' would be 15 years teaching and 12 years of co-ordinating Literacy, making me acutely aware of Speaking and Listening issues.

'some could do with a bit of help and guidance from a professional'- Umlellala, are you tutoring the child or the parent?

I've a sneaking suspicion much of the tutoring is for the parents' benefit - to have a child who is better at literacy, better at numeracy, on a higher reading level..... I sometimes worry about where it's all going to end and what will happen to the poor little mites who are dragged round from club to club, tutor to tutor....

My son went to an open day at Oxford Brookes last week. He was the only 17 year old there without his parents. They're nearly adults! I think it's time to let go of the apron strings.

Well we're getting a tutor for a few hours each week, for our 6 year old son, during the summer holidays.
Ther'es football club etc but no brain club (as someone on here once called it) and thats what he really needs.
Yes I play and talk to/with him but I have other children, housework and the like and can't give him the one on one attention he would dearly love(thst where the guilt lies) so we are arranging for someone else (with fresh ideas and a differet approach) to come and spend some time with him.
I don't see how it's much different to taking them to riding lessons or ballet as it's something he will enjoy. I definitely don't shunt him around from one activity to another and why should I feel guilty about parents who won't/can't provide something similar or should all those parents who arrange different activities for their children feel guilty too.

Umlellala I'm wishing you lived in Norfolk

You are paying someone else to 'spend some time' with your son?

That has to be one of the most genuinely sad things I've ever heard on MN.

There are good reasons for having a football club. Something to do with needing 9 other children, a football pitch and a coach who know how to teach children to play football. Ditto ballet, riding and karate (obviously without the football pitch bit.

A 'brain club" for a 6 year old is having a friend round and making some fairy cakes, or planting some sunflower seeds or lying on their backs in the garden finding pictures in the clouds. Do you really want someone else to hear your child say thoughtfully "Does that cloud look more like a cucumber or a willy?"

feenie you didn't interview them because they had a degree in play? do you know exactly what play is?

Yes thanks. I also shortlisted and interviewed our play therapist.
The person concerned in this case had a degree in play, but didn't meet other criteria for shortlisting.

Just flying back to say that actually I agree. Am a hippy, learning-through-play, anti-homework type of mum/teacher. I don't like the idea of continuous 1-1 tutoring AT ALL for kids. If you read my initial post, you'll see that's not what I was offering.

By limited experience I meant perhaps in the typres of schools and parents you have encountered. FWIW most of my parents have not been middle class hothousing types. They have been normal working class parents, who are concerned their children is not achieving and go about looking for a traditional tutor. Of course, there are many parents who don't care at all about education or playing with their child as you say. However there are parents who don't know how to play and foster a love of reading/writing, but still value education.

As I said, the school should be helping.

What I do is really about building confidence and losing the fear of reading/writing etc. I assess the child, work out a few strategies (eg one of my tutees wouldn't read to me but read to my daughter, and began to enjoy it), build the child's confidence and yes, help the parent continue from there (including realising that 'SATs' etc are really not worth worrying about) - and to save their money. Usually two or three sessions. I feel too guilty charging my proper consultancy rate, and like a more informal approach anyway.

Hope that clarifies things.

That should say 'parents who don't realise the value of play' rather than don't know how to. I think we all know how to play

I am with you Umlellala...I think, unfortunately, those that either do not live or work with the clientele that you do (and thus so do I) do not truly understand the issues that some of the families in very low socio-economic areas need/require.

It just makes me pissed off that people automatically assume that being working class or living in difficult circumstances means you don't value education.

Who said that? Think it's you making automatic assumptions, Umlella. Unless you are referring to Melissa's last comment.

For the record, I also teach in low socio-economic area.

I never said that parents who didn't already talk/play with their children couldn't pay, I said they wouldn't pay. If you don't see the importance of doing it yourself, why would you pay anyone else?

If teaching is that bloody easy why do we bother paying and training teachers? I am personally dyslexic so and cannot hear many phonic sounds, so I pay someone else to teach my son, the same way I pay an accountant to do the books for my business - I can do both but I?m not an expert and I can tell you I want the best for my son - we do loads of other things together - I gave up a very well paid job to be with my kids and we are a very nerdy/bookish family but despite all this he has just not got reading . A month of head sprout and tutoring has fixed this!!!!!! So shoot me!

Also yes, the school should be helping - but even the best teachers in the best schools have finite time and resources. If my child is struggling and I chose to help him by paying for a tutor, can some one please give me some empirical evidence that an hour a week is going to damage him psychchalogically for life. Show me some study or expert saying this, not just some jump on the band wagon ?? preachy ?? opinions some of you have that seam to have more in basis in that you wouldn?t do it rather any real evidence why a parent should not?

In a lot of studies (look at the reading facts section on headsprout .com) Its been shown that 6 is the best point to lear to read miss this and it can become quite difficult

Sometimes a different way of doing something, a different approach a different ??voice? can make all the difference.

"If teaching is that bloody easy why do we bother paying and training teachers?"
I have no idea who you are addressing, Welshwoman.

I can understand why you choose to pay a tutor to read with your child, but the discussion had moved on to hiring tutors to talk and play with their children.

Feenie, you should listen to yourself - afraid you're starting to sound a bit too self-righteous. Don't be so quick to condemn someone who pays someone else to spend time with her child. It may be a good thing that she's recognised her shortcomings and is trying to deal with the problem.

Oh yes
"Sometimes a different way of doing something, a different approach a different ??voice? can make all the difference. "

I have a rule that if you visit me you have to teach one of my children something. Whether it's that butterfly is a cabbage white, how to do a plait or what hello is in dutch I don't care. I just think other people have as much to give as I do and he gets both this way.
In our case we're doing it during the holidays so there is no problem about him being tired after school and also plenty of time for us to spend time as a family, one on one or whatever split we decide.