Has anyone taken their dc out of private school due to financial problems

[cba]

We have three children, year 3, year 1 and nursery due to start reception in September.

We have been having financial problems for a long time now due to dh business. I am also pregnant with number four.

I am just so upset that we struggle each month with the fees, more often than not we are late with them. It is really getting me down.

dh says things will pick up, but I am getting really depressed about it. My dc love their school but I am sick of the constant worry of are we going to have enough money to pay.

The state school for which they are eligible if they have space is round the corner from their current school. I feel that this is cruel as we would have to pass the current school each day and possibly see the kids there as well.

What would you do? Have you been in this situation? Will it really effect my kids badly?

Please even if you havent got anything constructive to say just to talk would be nice as I havent got anyone to talk to in rl.

It's working this way for us aswell mrsjammi. It's such a relief not having to find the fees every month aswell.

People never plan to fail they fail to plan and then try to justify their actions afterwards.
Good luck to the OP but if it was me, everytime the eldest 3 children got a B instead of an A i'd be blaming myself for not putting him/her first.

"if it was me, everytime the eldest 3 children got a B instead of an A i'd be blaming myself for not putting him/her first."

I'd be doubting the honesty of the 'A's from the previous 'customer-is-always-right' school

I don't think an A or a B is everything. Even at a private school, not all children can get A's and B's. Just because you pay for it, they can't work miracles. Money doesn't buy brains!!

Every situation like every school is different, if the OP said her children were miserable, the school is miles away, the school is pants all of those are valid reasons to move them.
As is not affording the fee's but if it's the 4th baby pushing them financially over the edge then as I said before I would remove that problem before anything else.

As I said before, this is a short term problem and a new baby, in the longe term, won't affect what's happening now. The new baby won't be starting school from birth now will it! Who's to say what's going to happen in 4 years time??

If my dd got a B instead of an A but had a loving brother to support her through the difficult times in life, I'd consider that a bargain.

In my family, it's my fourth brother who is the rock we all lean on, and that includes financially in cases of emergency, as he is the only real money maker of the lot. And as I seem to remember, he didn't leave school with all that many A's.

And in a family I know, the 4th child is a car thief who they have to visit in jail every month, I'm afraid you cannot generalise about that any more than you can say children in private schools all get A's, all siblings get along, new babies bring joy, abortions cause depression.
It's a gamble either way.

exactly. you cannot know if getting all A's is what your child is going need in life or not; lots of people are successful without them; what if you terminated to get a child a better chance of getting A's and they still only got B's- wouldn't you resent it?;

you cannot generalise about the happiness brought by A's only, or the negative effects of changing schools, or the negative effects of less mummy time, or of less money for that matter

It is a gamble either way. But if the OP has not already thought of termination for other reasons, this seems a remarkable frivolous and shallow reason.

So you deal with what you already have three children in a school you choose and you move heaven and hell to keep them there or else you go ahead and live with the consequences whatever they may be better or worse.
I know that I would get rid, take extra hours, get a bank loan whatever but I would not let my children suffer for a mistake I'd made be it a pregnancy or not saving up school fees.
Mine are in state at the moment, the best in the area according to ofstead and The Times and yet not a patch on the local private.
However I wouldn't move them until I have at least two years of fees saved in case exactly this happened.
It's not their fault if I fuck up so why should they pay the price.

well, just possibly, the OP does not think of her pregnancy as fucking up

and we don't know that the children would suffer from changing schools

isn't that just you- generalising?

Lots of people move to different places while their children are young, some even emigrate (we thought of it last year, but decide against it), most children have to change schools anyway when they get to secondary (or even between infants and junior) and depending on catchments may not end up at the same school as their friends. They don't all end up traumatised.

Deciding to move a child out of any school is a tough decision and it isn't necessarily down to money. Sometimes school's don't work out. Why should the OP spend the next x amount of years worrying? If you've not been faced with this dilema yourself then how can you possibly know what a difficult decision it is? I don't think you have any right to talk on here about 'getting rid' as you are clearly not nor ever been in the OP's shoes. I really don't think you know what you are going on about. The OP is in a vulnerable position and you appear not to be concerned about the fact that you are advising her to terminate a pregnancy. You are not seeing the bigger picture here, it's irresponsible of you to advise this to someone you don't know, someone without a family and guidance beside her. You are in your own little world so know nothing about the OP. It's irrelevant whether this pregnancy is planned or not, you have no right to suggest that she terminates to keep her other children at a private school that is probably not benefiting them anyway. Parents do tend to do all they can to keep their children at a private school anyway but there really is a time when they have to say 'enough's enough'. If it's stressing the OP out this much she needs to make alternative arrangements, not terminate her pregnancy to keep her other children at that school. This is madness!

This seems to be Frivolous-Reasons-For-Termination Day. Just dropped back from the other thread where a poster appears to suggest that children with visual impairments should be terminated because they would never have survived in the hunter-gatherer times.

Assuming they like the sibling, i'd swap my sister who lives in the USA and we see never and both my brothers for a bag of chips, so you really cannot generalise at all.
I think she needs to put the needs of the existing children first end of.
What about the fact that the eldest 2 have had the benefit of years of private education and then she has to tell the youngest 2 sorry you didn't get that privilege.
And it's obviously important to her DH otherwise he wouldn't have started down this road in the first place.

what I am trying to say is, she doesn't know for sure what the most important needs of the existing children are

it is not always the case that the child's need is to stay put and not have an addition to the family

I would advise OP not to give her children a private education if she can't really afford it. My Bil's wife was determined to give each of her four children a private education. Things were fine when my Bil's business was doing well. Then Bil's business went downhill. His wife however was determined that the children should remain in private education despite the fact that things were bad financially. They eventually lost their home and ended up living with myself and my DH. This has caused so many problems in the marriage as Bil is angry with his wife for forcing him to continue privately educating their children. Myself and my dh can afford to privately educate our three Dc's ,but are not convinced that it is value for money. After having witnessed the situation with my bil i am so grateful that i didn,t go down that route.