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Original poster

When it seems as though your child's teacher just doesn't like/care about them

68 replies

Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 17:27

I'm probably overreacting. But I got to school late this afternoon - went out at nearly ten to three, hit traffic jam almost immediately, got to school (about a mile away) at 3.22.

They come out at 3.15 and although I was at school by 3.17 I couldn't get a place as it was raining and everyone was using cars, also got held up allowing people to cross in front of me. (I thought we would be early until we got stuck).

I am rarely late for pick up (or indeed for drop off)

Ds was standing totally alone except for one little girl in his class. She looked Ok, he was sobbing just standing there in an EMPTY playground, crying.

Previously on another occasion I was held up, the teacher assured me they would never leave the kids alone in the playground. He could have run out or anything, he's only five.

I'm so fed up about it. maybe she had to go urgently or something, I just feel so helpless because I couldn't do anything about it and he was so scared.

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cornsilk · 27/04/2009 17:29

That's awful and shouldn't have happened. Poor ds.

Twims · 27/04/2009 17:30

YANBU - if it was raining the children should have been inside - in the classroom or office - either with the secretary, nursery nurse, or teacher.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 17:31

Thanks I wasn';t sure., I thought it was just me being overreactionary again.

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Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 17:33

Once I had him, a different teacher wandered by and said 'Oh are you taking ds' - she actually asked first if I was taking the little girl, but I said no I wasnt her mother.

Maybe I just timed it in between teachers but I thought his class teacher would be with him - there are two tAs as well, any of them could have stayed with the last two children . Really sad sight.

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cornsilk · 27/04/2009 19:31

Just re-read your op - he's only 5!

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 19:38

Yes, five. He did once try and run out the gate one morning, when I left him there a bit early. He's a good boy but he loses rationality when he panics.

They ought to know better, I have written another email just now asking about it and will see how she wriggles out of this one.

I'd have thought after last week she would be wary of getting me in a state again!

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Greensleeves · 27/04/2009 19:39

poor little sausage

I would be really annoyed about this. Speak to his teacher and ask her why it happened, tell her how upset he was and ask how they are going to ensure that this doesn't happen again.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 19:45

Thanks Greeny...the thing is I have a real problem with sending him to school at all, knowing this kind of thing regularly happens (or did when I was a child, at least) as it really makes me feel terribly disempowered and almost as though I am relinquishing him to someone's 'care' who just doesn't care.

I know I probably have too high expectations/ ideals about teachers and I try to temper them, but this kind of thing sends me into a spin and I just want to take him out

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melissa75 · 27/04/2009 19:46

Not only is that a sad situation, but an extremely scary one. Your childs teacher is responsible for them until they are with a carer or parent at the end of the day. I am actually by your post. If God forbid your child were to wander off before you had picked them up, the school/teacher would be liable. I am so paranoid letting my pupils go at the end of the day, I do not even let them go with another parent of a pupil in my class where I know the Mums are friends unless I have had express written permission or the parent has phoned the office to give verbal permission. It is too scary of a world out there to be so lax with a child. Glad your DS is ok, but I would be in at that school so fast tomorrow morning to find out what on earth happened.

stillenacht · 27/04/2009 19:51

As a teacher in a secondary school who would wait with her pupils if we took them to a show or something until all parent sturned up (and we have had parents over an hour late for pick ups) I think that is disgusting of the class teacher not to keep the child within the classroom and supervise them until you got there - regardless of how long ittook. Where on earth was his teacher?

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 19:51

Thanks Melissa that helps reassure me in a way - although it would seem our school isn't as great as it would like to think. I wish we had you as his teacher

The fact that the other teacher wandered along and took charge of the situation after a few minutes was better than nothing - but she still almost gave the little girl to me to take, without knowing anything about me - we've never met even briefly.

If he had just been stood there I would have assumed his teacher had just gone a minute before, or was keeping an eye from somewhere like a doorway - but he was literally sobbing, his little face was bright red and screwed up.

Oh I am getting worked up again.

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Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 19:53

Stillenacht, honestly I have no idea where she was.

I didn't look for her, i was too concerned with getting to ds so he could stop crying (it took him a few minutes to stop)

She didn't appear in that time so I presume she was not watching or she would have come over to defend herself/ explain.

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hippipotamiHasLost20Pounds · 27/04/2009 19:53

Definately find out what happened. I have never ever, in all my years of collecting from the primary school ever seen a child unattended. Absolutely appauling (sp) and the school needs to explain itself.

TheApprentice · 27/04/2009 19:54

As a teacher I am quite shocked by this. I have taught in numerous schools (I do supply work now) and have never been in a school where the youngest kids (infants) have been allowed out the door unless there is someone there to pick them up. (I did once have a child run off unseen by me and give us all quite a scare until he was found, but that was part mistake by me, and part disobedience by him).

I have lost count of the times I have said at going home time, "remember children, you are not allowed to go until someone comes to pick you up", and with the very little ones we would look through the window and call the names out as the parent or carer arrived.

Please do contact the school over this, it could be dangerous, and also its horrible for your ds to be so upset.

stillenacht · 27/04/2009 19:55

I think it is utterly disgusting that your son wasn't by her side - even if she had to go to the loo she should have taken him to reception/office area. We wouldn't do that with 17 year olds after a trip so i shouldn't expect it to happen to a 5 year old at the end of a school day.

I would be v v v

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 19:56

I'm wondering what could have been the reason now - maybe she left the other teacher (the one who came along after) in charge of the line - no, she has her own infant class, and besides she was nowhere near them.

I don't want to overreact. I just don't like to see him crying and not 'attended' iyswim.

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stillenacht · 27/04/2009 19:57

I would have a chat with her about it tomoro - there must be some reason but it really isn't on.

hippipotamiHasLost20Pounds · 27/04/2009 19:57

Am also shocked teh other teacher tried to give you the little girl. At the dc's school you only 'receive' your child once the teacher has made eyecontact with you and nodded. Ie the child stays with her until she has seen you. And you can only take someone else's child if in the morning the other child's parent/guardian has written it on the class collection-time clipboard. If you are meant to collect another child and it is not on the clipboard you do not get to take that child until the office has phoned the parents and asked for permission to hand you the child.

Your ds's school failed badly - make sure they explain.

Hope ds is ok now

TheApprentice · 27/04/2009 19:58

Most schools I know have a system wherby if a child has not been collected after a certain amount of time s/he is taken to the office where the secretary will make a phone call to see whats going on. If the teacher cant look after him/her then the secretary or a support teacher would do so.

SuziSeis · 27/04/2009 20:00

in keystage one the children are released by the class teacher on a one by one basis on arrival of parent

i think it sounds illegal tbh

MollieO · 27/04/2009 20:00

Surely they most have a policy for late pick-ups? I would ask to see that. If they don't then you should ask why they don't. Not every parent is going to be on time every day. Ds's school will look after younger children until the older ones leaving time and then if they aren't collected by 4.05pm they are sent to after school care (and parents are charged).

In the circumstances you describe I would have expected to collect ds from his classroom or if not there (if his teacher had to rush off) then the office. If it were my child I would be kicking up one helluva stink. I would speak to his teacher and if s/he can't adequately explain the lack of supervision then I would be taking it further to head of year and/or head.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 20:03

Yes usually they all stand in their line, with one or two of the teachers/ta's. They say 'I see my mum' and the teacher says 'Ok' and the child goes.

This is getting weirder. I just asked ds about what happened. (he is Ok now thanks!)

He said they were all waiting as usual with the teacher and one of the TAs. all the children had been collected apart from him and the girl.

Apparently, the teacher just walked back indoors with the TA. First he said she didn't say anything, then he remembered she said 'stay there' before they went in.

I don't know if this meant 'stay until I come back out' or 'stay until mummy comes' but eitehr way it's a bit crap.

We didn't see her again before we went, so he could have disappeared and nobody would have known.

Silly bint woman.

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MollieO · 27/04/2009 20:08

That is completely unacceptable, either version. If there is no teacher with them, even if she is inside the classroom and only a few yards away, they are unsupervised. We have the same collection system as SuziSeis describes - children aren't released until teacher sees whoever they are expecting to collect child.

What happened to your ds is unacceptable and especially so if they know about him trying to run out of the gate previously.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 20:11

Ok thanks. I'll see if she speaks to me tomorrow, not sure when she gets her emails.

It took about 3 days to get an answer last time. But at least I have said it now, I hate waiting to say something as I get too nervous.

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MollieO · 27/04/2009 20:13

If it were my ds's school I would expect the teacher to ask to have a word with me when I dropped ds off the next day.

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