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Original poster

When it seems as though your child's teacher just doesn't like/care about them

68 replies

Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 17:27

I'm probably overreacting. But I got to school late this afternoon - went out at nearly ten to three, hit traffic jam almost immediately, got to school (about a mile away) at 3.22.

They come out at 3.15 and although I was at school by 3.17 I couldn't get a place as it was raining and everyone was using cars, also got held up allowing people to cross in front of me. (I thought we would be early until we got stuck).

I am rarely late for pick up (or indeed for drop off)

Ds was standing totally alone except for one little girl in his class. She looked Ok, he was sobbing just standing there in an EMPTY playground, crying.

Previously on another occasion I was held up, the teacher assured me they would never leave the kids alone in the playground. He could have run out or anything, he's only five.

I'm so fed up about it. maybe she had to go urgently or something, I just feel so helpless because I couldn't do anything about it and he was so scared.

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Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 27/04/2009 20:21

Yes - for all she knows, ds is still there...

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traceybath · 27/04/2009 20:25

I'd have been very cross too.

DS1 is in reception and we have to collect them from the classroom door which opens onto the playground. They are let out one by one once the teacher has identified that the parent is there.

Hope you get some type of explanation/apology.

melissa75 · 27/04/2009 20:30

I still just can't beleive it! How can his teacher have been so utterly stupid to let this happened. I cannot even remotely imagine leaving a 5 year old in the playground on their own. As I said, I do not let my pupils go with anyone other than a parent unless prior permission has been given, and I also do not allow them to just run off, they have to tell me that they can see whoever is there to pick them up (parent, grandparent, childminder etc...) Then I look to make sure I too can see them and then they can go. I had one situation where Mum showed up to pick up her DS and was late, I was already back in the class, and she came in and asked where he was. I told her he had gone with her friend, which she had forgotten she had given permission for the day prior, but it still made my heart drop for a split second to question myself to think who the child had gone home with.
I really hope that you go there first thing tomorrow morning and speak to the teacher and emphasise the shear danger of what she did, and I would also speak to the Head about it, to enquire what their school policy is

popsypie · 27/04/2009 20:36

At our school young children are always kept inside school until the parent arrives to collect them. They are then released one at a time. Late arrivals are kept inside and after a reasonable time has passed (ten to fifteen mins) the door is closed and they are kept inside the school until the parent arrives/is phoned. You weren't that late. The only thing I would suggest you could have done/would do if this happened again is to call the school to say you are running late but on your way. To be honest I would advise you to bypass the class teacher and call and have a quick word with the head about your concerns. Then this issue will be brought to the attention of the whole staff. It could have been one stupid lack of judgement. Even so, they should know better and you need to make sure it does not happen again. good luck

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 09:19

Thankyou for all your help, I tried to have a word with the TA this morning but she looked rather nervously at me and started an intensive conversation with someone else!

I'll wait to hear back - they might talk to me later or else I might get an email. I think I will see what they say just to make sure ds has it right and I understand what happened from their perspective, before going any further - saying that if it doesn't seem a satisfactory reply I shall talk to the head.

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melissa75 · 28/04/2009 09:31

flightattendant...let us know what does come of this...I am interested to hear what the outcome is!

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 09:45

Ok, will do.

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mummypig · 28/04/2009 09:57

I would be very bothered about this. To give her the benefit of the doubt, it is possible that the teacher did mean 'stay there until I come back out'. But then, wouldn't any responsible teacher have a word with you this morning, just to make sure you knew that was what had happened? I think it would be entirely reasonable of you to call the office today to say you were worried, and to clarify what really happened.

I'm sure the school must have policies about what should be done if a parent is late picking up. In fact they probably should have included this in the information given before he started reception.

My boys have changed school recently but in both schools, any kids waiting for late parents are taken to the office and are always with a member of staff until someone picks them up. I do agree though, calling the office if you are ever running late is a very good idea.

Also, I used to have a deal with a couple of other parents that if one of us was late the other would collect the kids. But we would always call the office to make sure they knew what was going on. The school would never release a child unless they knew the parent had agreed for them to go home with a different adult.

cluckyagain · 28/04/2009 10:00

I don't think it matters what was said or not said by the teacher - you don;t leave a 5 yr old on their own. They are ALWAYS accompanied at our school, NO MATTER WHAT. They have a duty of care and just because you are a few minutes late, I don;t think this would stand up to scrutiny from a legal or moral standpoint - what if there had been a stranger in the playgroud - nobody would have known.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 10:07

Yes exactly - they might have offered him to someone else if i hadn't turned up!!

In hindsight (and actually whiilst I was stuck in the traffic) I wished I had had my mobile phone, as I could have called ahead - though obviously I'd not have been comfortable risking using it while driving, and having set out with plenty of time to spare, for a journey that normally would take 5 minutes, I didn't anticipate having to.

It's supposedly an excellent school but it does appear to carry a measure of complacency with that.

I'll be interested to know what they say really.

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MollieO · 28/04/2009 10:07

I logged on especially to find out the latest. If the teacher doesn't speak to you today when you collect I would be calling as soon as I got home to make an appointment with the head.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 10:08

Thanks Mollie, I promise I will let you know when I hear anything. I'm not going to let it lie as I think it was awful of them to leave him crying like that.

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Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 10:09

The main thing is of course that ds is safe, Ok and happy to go back to school today - but I am not going to be happy till they explain themselves!

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coppertop · 28/04/2009 10:52

at 5yr-olds being left by themselves. Ours are only allowed to leave if an adult has arrived to collect them.

Even the KS2 children (who are allowed to leave by themselves) have at least one member of staff nearby in case of problems with pick-ups etc.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 28/04/2009 11:34

There was someone nearby-ish I suppose in the class 2/4 teacher who approached us afterwards - I guess she was just checking up because she saw us, maybe - I cannot for the life of me understand why the two teachers who were waiting with the rest of the class, just decided to bugger off like that though. They weren't in a rush, nobody came to get them for something urgent -apparently they just wandered off. Weirdness.

OP posts:
compo · 29/04/2009 17:50

hi Fight, any news?
what a nightmare time you're having at school atm! xxx

compo · 29/04/2009 17:51

lol I mean Flight of course,although fight might be a good nickname for dealing with your teacher

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 29/04/2009 19:21

Hello

er, well, nothing back from teacher so far

BUT I approached the head in the playground this morning, and asked her what the usual policy was - then explained what had happened the other night.

She apologised (she doesn't really do that, usually - so I was surprised)

and said that usually if parents are late there is one teacher on duty who is in charge of making sure everyone is collected - although the teacher in question might have to go off slightly to talk to another parent, etc etc. (which is what I imagine happened - the teacher who turned up a few minutes later was probably on duty).

She said that my son's teacher normally stays out with all the children until the last one is collected, so she was surprised she hadn't on this occasion as she thought she always did.

anyway - I've had an apology, she said we must hope it doesn't happen again, and she now knows something about ds's teacher that she didn't know before, which is a good thing imo.

I think having one duty teacher wandering around randomly is a bit rubbish considering the inherent risks, ie child running off, child being assigned to wrong parent/complete stranger etc etc. especially as she wasn't actually around at all as far as I could see when I arrived.

I hope this gets looked into and I'll update if I hear back from his form teacher. But the fact the head agreed it wasn't right, is a good sign I think.

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MollieO · 29/04/2009 23:25

Can't see how that works. Either the teacher is minding the children of the late parents or she is talking to another parent. She can't do both. If she has arranged a meeting with a parent then someone else should be covering the waiting children. If a parent asks to have an ad hoc word then either the teacher should do that in the presence of the other children or if that can't be done arrange for an alternative time for that parent.

Also not impressed by the head saying that 'we must hope' it doesn't happen again. If it were my ds hoping wouldn't cut it. I would want to know what are the procedures in place, whether they were breached, if so then what is being done to ensure it doesn't happen again. If no procedure was breached then I would want written confirmation that a procedure would be put in place and details of what that procedure was.

robinpud · 29/04/2009 23:39

Too tired to read the whole thread but for kids of this age the school should have an eyeball policy imo. ( ie kids of that age are not released until teacher has eyeballed the parent) Much safer, and builds relationship between parents and teacher.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 30/04/2009 07:00

No, Mollie, I have similar reservations. I'm still waiting to hear back from his teacher and at this moment I would guess she is 'planning' what to say so that it doesn't sound negligent and hopeless.

Once I have a clearer picture from her I shall know better how to proceed, but having approached her by email already, I didn't want to jump the gun and actually formally complain to the head without giving her a chance to respond (rather an extended chance, albeit)

Hope that once I've heard back I can formulate some kind of plan with your help

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MollieO · 30/04/2009 08:38

You sent the email on Monday so I would have expected a reply the next day. If you don't hear anything today I'd be off to the head.

Original poster
Flightattendant25 · 30/04/2009 09:53

Well, it's quite possible the head has already given her a bollocking for it. I plan on trying to speak to the teacher this afternoon if she is about - she wasn't this morning.

My guess is she only reads her emails a couple of times a week if that. I told the head I had emailed.

The longer they leave it before replying, the worse it looks for them, and the more likely it is they are crapping themselves trying to think of an excuse for what is at best a poor system, and thence possibly the more likely they will be thinking of a way to revise said system.

I don't want to give them any excuse to consider me unreasonable or annoying - I've said my bit, it's up to them to respond appropriately.

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melissa75 · 30/04/2009 12:13

Just in defense of the teacher and the emailing issue, how do you have the address for the teacher? Is it custom practise to communicate with the teacher via email? The only reason I ask, is that I RARELY check my school email account, I always forget it is there to be honest, so perhaps she has not even seen it? However if it was common practise at the school to communicate via email with the teacher, then I would have expected a response by now.
I agree with Mollie, I think the Heads response was totally inappropriate, "Lets hope"...are you kidding me? Hope for what? Hope for your child not to be kidnapped next time? I just can't beleive that the safety of those children are not her TOP most priority...because without the children, she would have no job, and I think it is disgusting that she does not realise this. Sorry to sound so harsh, but I find this whole thing competely unacceptable, and I am a teacher!!
Also, I agree completely with Mollie that if the teacher is responsible for watching children being picked up by late comers, then it is her express responsiblity to stay with those children. I too, have children who are picked up late, and parents want to come and have a "quick word" but I do it only if I have one child left, and I do it slightly away from the child left so they are out of earshot, yet not more than a metre away that I know the child is still there. If I still have too many children to see off, I ask the waiting parent who wants to talk to me, to please wait until I have seen off the children, as they are my first and foremost responsibility.
I think, as Mollie said, you need to have written confirmation of what the safety policy is for this school, and if you don't have it within a specified period of time, then I would be on to the LEA. It is just completely unacceptable

melissa75 · 30/04/2009 12:16

Flight...can I just ask where abouts in the country the school is?