When it seems as though your child's teacher just doesn't like/care about them

[Flightattendant25]

I'm probably overreacting. But I got to school late this afternoon - went out at nearly ten to three, hit traffic jam almost immediately, got to school (about a mile away) at 3.22.

They come out at 3.15 and although I was at school by 3.17 I couldn't get a place as it was raining and everyone was using cars, also got held up allowing people to cross in front of me. (I thought we would be early until we got stuck).

I am rarely late for pick up (or indeed for drop off)

Ds was standing totally alone except for one little girl in his class. She looked Ok, he was sobbing just standing there in an EMPTY playground, crying.

Previously on another occasion I was held up, the teacher assured me they would never leave the kids alone in the playground. He could have run out or anything, he's only five.

I'm so fed up about it. maybe she had to go urgently or something, I just feel so helpless because I couldn't do anything about it and he was so scared.

Thanks Melissa, it is unacceptable and I'm trying to take your and Mollie's points on board so I'm prepared to argue when the chance arises.

We're in the south east btw.

I emailed last week after a meeting in which I wasn't sure any progress was made (about something else) and got a reply within 2-3 days.

The school webpage has an email address for every teacher however I am not sure they are used too much. Saying that the head had asked me to email in some photographs I took one day, and I emailed these to the class teacher - no response to that either. I thought a 'thanks' might have been nice.

They also use parentmail for all newsletters etc and I am fully signed up for that - doesn't appear to go both ways though. Bit rubbish, again.

Just to add more evidence - in all the schools I've been involved with, reception and KS1 children wait with a teacher until they are handed over to a parent. At our school, Reception children stay in the classroom and are let out only when their collector is actually there. If a carer doesn't turn up (for example the time when I forgot it was my turn to pick up ds and 3 - count them 3 - of his friends) they are taken back into school and wait in the office while the secretary phones the offending parent - she leaps into the car and drives like a lunatic to school full of grovelling apologies.

What happened to youd ds is VERY wrong.

Thankyou Seeker, it puts it into perspective and I'm quite angry that they just abandoned him now. (plus the other little girl, who did get taken with the 'duty' teacher)

I just can't believe they were that busy that they couldn't wait 3 more minutes. Had I been maybe 12, 15 minutes late then obviously they might have needed to hand him over to someone else but 7 minutes? The playground was only just cleared and the gates were still open, we passed quite a few parents/children still leaving as we went in.

The more I think about it the more I reckon they knew I was his mum and just didn't want to speak to me - possibly due to the issue we had had the previous week, although thatw as completely resolved they perhaps think I am a pushy parent/troublemaker and didn't want a one-to-one opportunity in case I came out with some other problem...that would be maybe 3 times I've asked about a problem since we started there. Hardly every day is it.

Either that or they are really horrible and just like to see small children suffer...she put on some sad music the other day that made them all cry!!

I wouldn't worry about being classed as a pushy parent. I had one issue with ds's school not long after he started that ended up in my writing a letter to his teacher (in reply to hers). I sent the letter in with his reading folder and the same morning I was invited to a meeting with the head 'at my convenience'. The meeting ended up being with his teacher, TA, head of pre-prep and the head. I was pleased they were addressing the issue but I was a bit worried I'd be labelled as I'd been pretty critical. Nothing could be further from the truth. Other than feeling a bit awkward for about a week after I have gone on to develop really good relationships with all of those in that meeting and even had his teacher confide personal info to me.

Your ds's welfare is paramount and they have to address this issue now. Hope you hear something today.

OoooKay.
We have an email.

I'll c&p it for you as it's long and quite good. The only trouble is it doesn't fit at all with what Ds said happened.

Here you go:

Hi mrs BIF
I am so sorry, I do not get around to checking my emails in school on a
daily basis and in the meantime a week has gone by since you sent that
message.I went to see Mrs Head this morning after reading your email
and she told me she had forgotten to tell me you had already spoken to her
on Wednesday.If anything like this happens, please see me immediately the
following day. You had every right to feel concerned and I was very
worried myself when I read your message. What happened was this: after
school I stood waiting on the playground as usual. When there were only a
few children left, Mrs Yr2, who was on duty after school, came to
collect Ds, girl and 2 other children. She told them to come with her
while she went to close the parent gate and chatted to them. Some other
parents were there and so some children walked over to their parents. The
gate got stuck and Mrs Yr2 told Girl and Ds to wait on the
playground and went quickly into the school building to get Mr Yr5 to
help her to kick the gate shut. We think you must have arrived at that
very moment. Mrs Yr2 then came back and closed the gate with Mr Yr5
and took Girl to the office. Mrs Yr2 was very upset when I explained
your email to her and she would like to apologise for this. She could not
have been away for very long, but obviously Ds still felt deserted.
Please reassure Ds that there is always a person on duty who will not
forget about them. I tried to catch you on the playground this afternoon
but you had already gone, so I thought I'd quickly send this message to
you to explain what happened and to apologise for the delay!

Yours Mrs thing etc etc.

I went to ask Ds whether Mrs Yr2 had been with them, or whether she had taken them to the gate. He maintains that at no point was he handed over to Mrs Yr2, he did not go to the gate with her, and there was nobody with them until I arrived.

What do I do now? I've emailed back saying thanks and that although the accounts do not tally, I'm unsure who is right, so I shan't make any assumptions. And that I am sure they will not allow it to happen again although it might be an idea to have back up in place in case the duty teacher does get called away which will be inevitable occasionally.

I think they are suitably worried and have taken note - that's all I can do besides getting very angsty with them and I don't think it's necessary as they're already quite scared.

I shall keep a close eye.

"Mrs Yr2 told Girl and Ds to wait on the
playground and went quickly into the school building to get Mr Yr5"

She has acknowledged that your ds and the other girl were left alone in the playground. You have it in black and white. Surely it is a breach of procedure. If I were you I would ask to see the written procedure and I would be taking further (to the head). It doesn't matter if your child was left alone in the playground for one minute or five. She should have taken them back into the classroom to wait at the very least or preferably taken them with her to find MrYr5 (if there was no one else who could mind them).

It is hard to say that ds is right and the teacher is wrong so I would focus on her acknowledgement that the children were left alone and presumably out of her eyesight and hearing.

Thankyou; you have put it very concisely for me. I was getting a bit baffled by all the hoo ha.

Yes - even if she was on duty and did take charge of them when the teacher left them, she still went into school without them to get Mr Yr5. That is clearly very wrong and should not have happened.

I think from the number of 'apologies' and 'Mrs whatever was really upset's in that email, they have realised that the children were in fact left unsupervised for a short time. (At least five minutes, I suspect more)

and that they are completely aware that it is a breach of procedure, and are trying desperately to cover their collective arse.

They have fucked up basically, and they know it, and they know I know it.

Thanks again for your help x

Oh yes - and another point. They think I arrived when the gate was open, and she was inside getting Mr Yr5...who then came out with her to close the gate.

Well, when I got there the gate was certainly open. But mrs Yr2 came (back out?) into the playground maybe 4 or 5 minutes AFTER I arrived, and then disappeared with Girl, perhaps to the office - while I left by the gate, which was by then apparently shut.

This is just silly. They're making it up!

I am in agreement with Mollie, you have it in black and white, do not whatever you do delete that email, and call the head of childrens services for the LEA, you have already spoken to the Head and the teacher has responded to the email, and IMO, both of their responses were a total waste of time and completely unacceptable. It does not matter how long those children were left alone for on the playground, it only takes ONE minute for a child to disappear into thin air. Those children should have either been taken with the teacher on duty when she went to find the Y5 teacher or taken to the office and dropped there while she went to find said teacher. The children take priority over that gate. I would be absolutely furious, and certainly would not let this go

Really?

I'm struggling a bit, as far as I'm concerned they are covering their backsides while displaying due courtesy and remorse.

I'm not interested in legal retribution or anything. I just want them to be more careful. Do you think it's really best to take it further? I'm just not sure what it would achieve - but not having your experience I wouldn't understand this sort of thing.

I think perhaps their attitude is too casual and they needed pulling up on it but I would feel a bit heavy handed getting the LEA involved - I just don't know. Sorry, hope I don't sound dismissive of your views, I'm not, it's just more extreme a response than I anticipated.

If you think I really ought to involve higher powers then perhaps I will.

Part of me is wondering about the age thing...I mean, the older children don't have to be let go individually by a teacher, so at what age do they consider this inessential? This is where I am having trouble as afaik it is a matter of teacherly discretion and voluntary on their part to make sure each child is handed over properly - ie they don't have to do it.

It's a grey area in a way and I can't fight them over a grey area. Half of me feels like I should be aplologising to them, for being late myself - and thanking them that they usually do hand him over properly.

Do you see what I mean?

I would want to see the written policy. The only apology I can see in the email is for the delay in responding to you.

What concerns me most with the teacher's response is the lack of acknowledgement that what happened was wrong.

The head/teacher has not confirmed that steps will be put in place to ensure this doesn't happen again. I assume that is because as far as they are concerned there was a teacher on duty and that was enough for them to comply with whatever policy they have.

The fact that the teacher and two young pupils weren't actually together at one point completely escapes them. There is no acknowledgement even that the teacher made an error in judgment in leaving two children in an insecure playground (gate that wouldn't shut) alone.

Of course it is up to you what you do and whether you decide to take it further. If it were my ds and I got the response you did then I would. The furthest thought from my mind is anything to do with 'legal retribution' (and I'm a lawyer). I would just want to be reassured that my child is safe at school.

I would write to the head (copy in the teacher as a matter of courtesy) to ask for a copy of their policy and for an explanation on why they think it is acceptable to have done what they admit they did. You could also copy in the chair of governors. Personally I wouldn't involve the LEA at this stage (or hopefully at all).

I don't think it is a grey area. Your child is 5 and has to be handed over by the teacher to whomever is collecting him. A contingency plan must be in place in the event that whomever collecting that child is late/forgets/doesn't turn up. The fact that there would be a different policy for older children is irrelevant imo.

Thankyou very much. That sounds like a sensible plan.
I have searched through the prospectus i was given and there's nothing in it about late pickups. So perhaps there is no written policy though I shall ask for it and see what they say.

and yes, she does seem to want to gloss over the dodgy bits, 'please reassure ds that someone is on duty' isn't really helpful is it - considering he was left crying and alone.

He could have escaped, quite easily particularly if the gate was unlocked.

I'll have a think about the rest and decide what to do - thanks again. HE was so much less complicated!!

I supply teach and I always make key stage 1 children show me who is collecting them before they go, I tell them they are to stand by me until they can show me someone. I do that even with year 2.
Year 3 onwards I just let go on the assumption that they know what to do if the person meeting them is late. This is how the schools operate anyway. A 5yr old shouldn't have been left on his own.

This is completely unacceptable. I teach Y1/2. I and the Reception class teacher escort our children out at the end of the day. The children then have to stand with us until we release them individually to a designated person. If we have any children left, for whatever reason, we take them back into the classroom with us.

In retrospect, I think the idea of writing to the Head whilst CC'ing the teacher and the Chair of Governors is a great idea, it gives them the opportunity to respond in a written form to your inquiry, and then depending on their response, take it from there. I think any child who is of infant school age needs to be seen off to who is collecting them, and definately should not be left unattended in a playground for even a second. Imagine what would have happened had you shown up to pick him up and they did not know where he was?? They would be singing a different tune then.

It does not even seem that they think that this is an issue as well, as Mollie said, in their mind, they seem to think that since they have a duty teacher assigned, then that is ok, nevermind the fact that the duty teacher was more concerned about the flippin gate as opposed to the children in her care.

Heck, I am so upset about this whole thing for you, I would even write the letter for you!

i actually think it is not enough to write to the teacher. I would telephone the head. I would say this is a very serious breach of health and safety. don't think you are over reacting. i am a teacher.