vegetarian child having school meals - have I been naive?

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

In thinking that the school can provide my son with a vegetarian meal every day...

My son is 4 and cannot be expected to ensure the ingredients of each meal are veggie - that is up to the school. But the very first day he has a school meal he comes home saying he had jelly for pudding - not generally veggie (although it is possible to make jelly w/out gelatine). He couldn't remember the main - but I think that was something cheesy.

So I phone the school for some reassurance - expecting them to say 'oh it was veggie' 'we have x system set up to ensure dietary restrictions are catered for' instead she sounded unsure and said she would speak to the kitchen and asked if i wanted someone to accompany my son at school meal times to ensure he got the right options.

I did not think children in reception would be left to their own devices at lunch anyway, do I have to go back to giving him a packed lunch every day?

What are other veggie parents experience - am i expecting too much?

give him a packed lunch, or let him have what he wants from the school dinner. if that's jelly then so be it.

Think packed lunch is probably the safest option, but I'd expect most schools these days to offer Halal/Kosher food and the easiest way for caterers to do that is to do a veggie dish.

If you aren't a veggie then you have no idea what is in the food.
That has been my experience.
Nobody really cares enough about it, and mostly they are too busy.
And then if your kid gets meat/gelatine etc, they usually jsut say "but it's only a little bit" or "doesn't really matter"
Or they suggest that you are a hypocryte if you wear lether shoes.

been there, done that, got the (hemp) t shirt.

In the end, at this age, if you really don't want meat or meat products then you ahev to be responsible fr it yourself.

Sorry- i sound blunt- but it makes life easier once you realsie that other people don't understand and don't care particularly about it...

hth

I would (well I already do) go for packed lunch as well + I do also tell my dcs that if their friends offer them something they never had with me before, they should politely refuse.

DSs school have photos of children up in reception (they eat separately) with captions like "Hermione - no meat or fish". They have similar pictures for higher years but I think that is for allergies only.

I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be happy with my child having the veggie options at DSs school. Rather than being a vegetarian version of the meat meal, they end up being something like "cheese flan". I keep meaning to complain even though it doesn't affect my children.

My school does a veggie option everyday. Children are given a coloured sticker to wear so the dinner ladies know who is a veggie, veggie/fish etc....seems to work..

At my DDs school we get a menu sent home - it is on a recurring 4 weekly cycle, and each day there are 3 choices (including 1 vegetarian). The children then pick which meal they want in the morning. The system does rely on children picking the correct meals though. If a vegetarian child decided they fancy trying meant then they would be able to (or having non-halal food when thier parents wouldnt like it).

blimey - so i am asking too much! I don't mind blunt answers but I am disappointed that schools haven't moved on from when i became veggie nearly 20 years ago and ended up with a cheese roll every day at school!

ds will be very upset as he was actively campaigning to have hot meals at school - so he could next to his best friend!

Still think the school should have a procedure for this sort of requirement though - it is not exactly rare nowadays to be veggie - and we should be respected1

i think the major problem is that people who aren't veggie really have no need to think what is in the food.

Most people don't knw jelly is made form pork or beef, there's no requirement for them to check.

So.. even tho' the pictures are there, the actual dinner ladies won't have a big feel for what food is where TBH. They are busy and it really isn't do important to them.

And then sometimes i think there are the people who randomly get the hump if you have a different belief system and who have no respect for it- and they really don't give a stuff what goes on the plate.

Lunch time is bewildering enough for the little ones- and adding a whole set of rules for them to take responsibiltly for themselves too is a bit hard i think.

My ds1 gets packed lunch and loves it- he has what he knows and we write him a note every day. I feel safe that he's not eating melted pigs and he has a nice nutricious lunch.

I'd take the responsibitly back and not expect anything tbh.

And how nice are you, SD, thnaks, on behalf of vaggie kids

I would have thought in primary school at least - that i could ensure he gets the veggie option each day - at secondary level i am sure it will be very different and then ds will be responsible for choosing his meal - and I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

vaggie kids

Oops makes some v. good points there.

But I do feel for your ds on wanting to sit next to his best friend. Have never understood why some schools separate children based on what they eat. Why on earth do they do that?

Maybe you could ask the school for a menu and go through it with you Ds in the morning, I find that if you really trust a child they usually behave the right way. Mine have a Packed lunch for several reasons, halal/vegetarian is only one aspect. If they really wanted hot meals I would give it a try with the older ones, not with Ds3 because he eats very little and I would be worried that he actually does not eat at all if I could not check the left overs.

Maybe the school solution is not so bad after all , to offer someone's help to let know your son what he is allowed to eat.

Our school tries quite hard on the veggie options and is open to suggestions, but I think they wouldn't spot things like jelly. My dds are not strict veggies anyway so they eat jelly. we get menus in advance and they choose which meals to have school dinners for and which to take packed lunch for, which does mean you can avoid meals which are suspect. My dds have about half veggie school meals and half packed lunches, which works quite well.

fennel, could you explain more (sorry for hijack) I wanted my Dcs to be able to have sometimes, maybe twice a week, a hot meal, but not everyday but the school's head refused. How did you get about it?

Our school lets the children decide on the day. Menus get sent home half-termly and the children sign up every morning to school dinner options or packed lunch. There's always a yoghurt/fruit option instead of the main pudding, though I would imagine the yoghurt could have geletine in it.

We have found that veggie school lunches can be a bit problematic, at one time the options were very adult-veggie-oriented - lots of mixed veg spicy mixtures, which my dds don't really like (they are fussier than I'd like). There can be too much focus on cheesy-stuff, which not all mine like and isn't that healthy. but the school does try. we have a school chef at the moment, the school opted out of the local county school system, and it is more flexible. our chef would respond to a parent on this sort of issue, but a bigger system covering lots of local schools might not.

Well the school called back and the kitchens weren't aware that ds was veggie I have to write 'a note' for the dinner ladies to pin up in the kitchens

the jelly was ok though

It is all very well saying they can't be expected to provide a veggie meal for my son at school - but what if he was on free school dinners am I expected to accept any old crap because I have no other option - I am coming over all jamie oliver abouit this now!

I am emailing the school governors now i think

I think the veggie kids having school dinners are a rarity as many parents with veggie children put them onto packed lunches to save bother, and also I know quite a few veggie parents who just let their children have the meaty dinners (whereas we aren't strictly veggie but I really don't want my children eating cheap factory farmed processed meat).

So the veggie kids do stick out more than you'd expect, given that there are so many vegetarians around

I sounds like a really good system for parents and children, but must be a bit complicated for the school chef to order the food supplies if he does not knoe who of if anyone is going to eat at all before the morning? It is nice to see that some school care enough though, to offer such great options!

I also have the option of choosing which days to have a school meal so will in the meantime adopt that - once we have got through this week. I am annoyed because I know that ds admisson forms stated he was veggie and the teachers definately know so i thought that was covered - my mistake clearly.

suggest the sticker system - works here (as long as child doesn't peel it off!)

Our school now have a system where you choose your week's meals on a Monday and there is always one vegetarian option available to tick. You have to have whatever option you signed up for so there is no swapping on the day.
Up until last year there was a bizarre system whereby you had to send a letter to the school stating your child was vegetarian. They would then get the vegetarian option each day. However, no non-vegetarian children were allowed to have the vegetarian option, which was incredibly pointless and extremely annoying. When I pointed out to the school how illogical this system was, they changed it. Try asking if you can have a chat with the kitchen manager about how the system operates, there may be a simple way of ensuring your child gets the right option.

thanks for your replies everyone - I will go and have a nice cup of tea and chill out about this now I have had my rant - thank you.

How wise bigmouth! I have just finished my cup, can I have a refill?

ohh, tea and toast for me