vegetarian child having school meals - have I been naive?

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

In thinking that the school can provide my son with a vegetarian meal every day...

My son is 4 and cannot be expected to ensure the ingredients of each meal are veggie - that is up to the school. But the very first day he has a school meal he comes home saying he had jelly for pudding - not generally veggie (although it is possible to make jelly w/out gelatine). He couldn't remember the main - but I think that was something cheesy.

So I phone the school for some reassurance - expecting them to say 'oh it was veggie' 'we have x system set up to ensure dietary restrictions are catered for' instead she sounded unsure and said she would speak to the kitchen and asked if i wanted someone to accompany my son at school meal times to ensure he got the right options.

I did not think children in reception would be left to their own devices at lunch anyway, do I have to go back to giving him a packed lunch every day?

What are other veggie parents experience - am i expecting too much?

Am surprised by the strange responses about whether or not you can control what goes into your kids' mouths...
well, initially one can, and does.
You don't give babies salt laden fat laden food do you?
and toddlers usually don't end up with kebabs and chips in most houses.
All the time, every day parents make choices for the kids.

With my family, as time goes by, i talk to them abotu if they want to eat meat. i say that if they do then that is fine, but let me know and i'll cook some for them.
I would be blody astounded if on a tea date one of the mums fed my child meat if they knew he was a veggie- what sort of respect is that?

At parties bith my 5yr alod and 3yrs old know what food they want/like/recognise.
Ds2 asks if sausages are veggie- usually not, and then says he doesn't like either anyway

They will amek their own choices later, and they will be able to think through the way we live and how animals get used...

I will let them eat meat if they want to- but i will wait until i see that the decision is one they understand, and certainyl won't let them eat cheap crap meat just because an omnivore thinks I'm being controlling or precious about it. {sad]
FFS who ndo you think you lot are?

I will teach my kids to behave responsibly to the animals and their environment and make well thought out choices.
Not just shove a crappy trukey twixzzler in because I'm deprivingthem of something that it is deabteable that they actually need.

getting annoyed again now

being an omnivore doesn't mean you always eat cheap shitty meat products

just like veggies don't always eat nut roast

I've been a veggie since I was born and have had no real interest in eating meat, nor has my sister. My parents have always said it would be our choice but I don't think they would have cooked us any as they were veggies too. This argument could have easily been the same as when I was in primary school (a good 25 years ago!) as I always ended up with a packed lunch because my mum could never be sure that I would get something veggie. I used to be desperate to join my friends in the dining hall!

i imagine they will only give a rats arse if your kid will actually DIE if he eats meat which is rubbish, but realistic

send packed lunch, safer every time.

TTBJH I'dalso say apcked lunch; again not beggies but medical diet- but I have some sympathy and see it alregelya s in 'the same boat'I think.

DS1 is gluten and casein free, ds3 casein free. On teh rare occasions they ahev ahd schollmeakls there ahs been no support (both have sn as well) and the resultant diarrhoea etc was toomuch of a risk,even thogh ds3 is desperate for hotmeals.

Most schools don't have in-house catering any more so the ingresients etc aren't so well know (Ds3 is transferring to a schoolwith in house cateringa dn we are going to try again then).

Goodluck.

Oh goodness sorry faulty keyboard

TBH i'd say is what it was intended as

I do not stress about the odd sausage or sweet with gelatine getting to my childrens mouth - I am not uptight - I didn't think I was unrealistic.

BUT - what I don't like is the feeling that a place where my son is supposedly being cared for - for nearly 7 hours a day does not even 'know' he is vegetarian despite my filling out the requisite forms and speaking to his teachers about it - what else is overlooked.

Also if I was reliant on free school meals and still veggie - what then??? But we will sort this out I have the time to get 'involved' - the school will apologise and hopefully a system will be put in place (after all I have 2 more children to go to this school).

I am on a steep learning curve here as ds is my eldest ...

Giant, regarding your previous post, my muslim children go to party and to play dates. I always tell the parents that they cannot have animal based food but I also tell them there is no need to prepare anything special for them as if it happens there is nothing they can eat at the party they will not really starve and usually ther is a least carrot stick... My dcs usually go to a party for the fun and the party bag [they love party bags] not really for the food, they might be an exeption though.

My veggie ds has been to 3 primary schools now (house moves and stuff) and he has ended up with meat/fish on his school dinner plate at each one, so yes, if you really don't want your children to eat meat then a packed lunch is the only way. Ds is 7 now and quite aware of what he is eating (when he was in reception at 4 years of age he didn't understand what a lot of the food was e.g. Dragon Pie) but had problems at his current school as his year is the last to go into the dinner hall and all the veggie food (usually jacket potato or cheese baguette!) had gone to the non-veggie kids (only 2 veggie kids in KS2) so he would come home upset at being hungry or 'forced' to eat meat. He's back on packed lunches now.
In our case it is ds's choice to be veggie, his dad is veggie (and is all of dad's family) and he was brought up veggie til he was 4 when we gave him a choice of eating meat/fish or not.
Dd on the other hand, also veggie until the age of 4, is a huge meat eater (for now).

Cat - I accept that there is a deal of ignoramce about what actually constitutes a vegetarian diet - for me as an ovo lacto vegetarian - it means no meat/ fish/ fowl and no meat products but we do eat eggs and milk and cheese.

I have met plenty of people who say they are veggie cept they eat fish and/ or chicken which has always seemed bizarre to me. Why label yourself if you don't even know what it means?

Gelatine is clearly a meat product - However the school reassured me that they only use vegetarian gelling agents to ensure the desserts etc are Halal/ kosher friendly. Caterers should be aware of vegetarians and what constitutes a veggie diet in my opinion but again that could be me being naive.

yes, it is niave to think that people who are cooking fod actually know what is in it.
Strange but true...

Also thank you for your insight on the working school kitchen very helpful cheers.

I'm in a funny mood- not sure if i'm being helpful or not.
Am on medication that seems to be making me excessively cross sometimes... not like the usual me.
Bloody steroids.
and I'm starving

anywa, I agree with you that it should be the case that the diet that says it is veggie actaully is.... but i do know in practice it is jsut easier to assume that nodoy cares and just do your own thing..

Sorry about the steroids - OOps and don't worry you have helpfully injected realism - I have to lower my expectations - but I am an optimistic fool

I think schools should be able to work out what is veggie and what is not - it's not rocket science!!

At the dc's first school they were the only 2 veggies but we spoke to 'chef' and sorted out what they could / not have and also discussed nutritional requirements - there was no way i was letting them tell me that ensuring a proper balance of protein was 'my job' at home

'chef' was fab and got to know them well over the 2 years they were there so it is possible. They talk about helathy eating for kids and a veggie diet should be very healthy if they do not load it with cheese - I would certainly take up the challenege and make sure they feed him a proper hot meal each day

We tried school lunches for one week for our veggie DS. We gave up, but not because they didn't offer him a veggie option, but because the lunchroom staff offered no help and guidance to a 4-yr-old child on what to eat. This would have been a problem if he ate meat or not. He would come home saying he'd had chips and white bread for lunch. When we explained the importance of having fruit and veggies, he came home the next day saying, "Today I had brown bread and butter, and an apple." !! At least he tried.

Honestly, they may have wonderful, healthy food, but if the lunchroom staff don't give a shit to put it on a young child's plate and encourage him to eat it, then I think you're better off with a packed lunch. Veggie or not.

I don't think it is reasonable to expect schools to cater to children's dietary restrictions, personally. Either children eat school lunch, which ought to be healthy but otherwise inclusive of all normal foodstuffs, or else children eat a lunch made at home.

Anna - I think that depends on what 'normal' is for your school doesnt it - if half the class are veggie then the school should cater for it shouldnt it?

No I don't think so. Vegetarianism is a minority activity, even in the UK. I think school is about offering children a wide variety of experiences that will broaden their horizons. If parents want to their children to opt out of those horizon-broadening experiences, that is acceptable to a certain extent (this is another debate btw). But the school does not have a responsibility to cater to the individual whims of families - on the contrary, in fact.