vegetarian child having school meals - have I been naive?

[bigmouthstrikesagain]

In thinking that the school can provide my son with a vegetarian meal every day...

My son is 4 and cannot be expected to ensure the ingredients of each meal are veggie - that is up to the school. But the very first day he has a school meal he comes home saying he had jelly for pudding - not generally veggie (although it is possible to make jelly w/out gelatine). He couldn't remember the main - but I think that was something cheesy.

So I phone the school for some reassurance - expecting them to say 'oh it was veggie' 'we have x system set up to ensure dietary restrictions are catered for' instead she sounded unsure and said she would speak to the kitchen and asked if i wanted someone to accompany my son at school meal times to ensure he got the right options.

I did not think children in reception would be left to their own devices at lunch anyway, do I have to go back to giving him a packed lunch every day?

What are other veggie parents experience - am i expecting too much?

ummm peanut butter toast and tea all round - cheers

I had a run-in with DD2s old school about seating arrangements. They were having a big push to get more children having school dinners, DD2 was keen, but wouldn't have been allowed to sit with her packed lunch friends. The school office didn't see why it had to be like that, the head teacher also agreed with me, but apparently the dinner ladies were allowed to run the dining room as they wanted, with no explanations to parents as to why it was impossible to have dinners and lunches on the same tables at the same time. DD2 carried on with packed lunches, school failed to increase the numbers of dinners taken up.
Any dinner ladies explain why mixing dinners and packed lunches is such a problem?

I wil have to ask my dcs, but I am pretty sure that school meals and packed lunches eat together. They split infants and juniors though. Maybe they have to split in one way because they cannot fit the whole school at once in the hall at lunch time and that is the splitting version your school chose?

At my ds' school they have a seperate veggie table so that theres no mix-up - all the dcs on the veggie table are from an Indian/Pakistani background and so they make sure that they get it right - surely most inner city schools have to do this?

For gods sake let the child eat the same as all the other children until he is old enough to decide if your food choices are for him. If he has a special medical diet as my son has then take responsibility for him yourself and make him pack up.

Why is mdical reason somehow more justifiable than parents ethic?

hornsea - all parents make food choices for their child.
Why is a good idea to do something just because other people do it? I love that my DD goes to a really diverse school, with lots of different approaches to food. Much better than everyone sitting there eating the same thing just so they can be like everyone else.

Our school gives us the menu for the term, it works on a 4 week rotation and there is ALWAYS a veggie alternative plus normally sandwiches, jacket potatoes and salads.

For reception children some wear little badges made in school by the teachers, some are more fun like "must eat main before pudding" so that the dinner ladies know that they should be encouraging, "must try a little bit of everything" and also the more serious stuff of allergies and veggies or fish eaters (ie no meat or poultry)

As there are so many badge making kits out there maybe this is an option for you.

I am aware that my son's primary goes beyond a normal primary and it is a state school.

My sister sends her two veggie dcs in with a packed lunch.

Our first school's menu is published on the County Council Website, occasionally it isn't as written, but generally kept very up to date. DS school has a veggie option every day.
xxxx

what would you do if your child wanted to try meat? Would you let them?

Hmm Hornsea - blunt I can handle but that comment was rude. Am I too understand that I am not entitled to any allowance at school for the fact my children have never eaten meat and I am raising them as vegetarians?

I will give my children the freedom to choose what they eat outside the home once they are older teenagers perhaps.

I have made my choices for my family - I have that right as it certainly is not harming anyone else. I may welll conclude that I have to rely on packed lunches but I am sad that it my be so.

bigmouth, have a look at this one! similar subject and debate just as heated!

My ds's school has a choice of meal for older ones but not reception aged children. Having said that a note in his reading folder ensured he is given a different meal on days when the main meal is something that he doesn't like.

I know of children with allergies whose parents have provided special food which the kitchen cook for them and have also been through the menus to check what is and isn't okay for them to eat. Maybe you could do something similar at your dc's school?

Wow bigmouth do you really think you will be able to control everything your child eats outside the home until they are older teenagers? What about b'day parties, beaver/brownie camp, sleepovers?

Well you can if you only mix in circles that are veggie themselves - thinking again about some of ds' school friends who dont eat meat for religious reasons - and therefore some of whom dont come to birthday parties/do playdates etc.

Bloomin impractical if you dont have a really big extended family and network of similar friends though.

Bigmouth, if you seriously think that you will be able to prevent your child choosing a sausage roll when he's say 7yo at a friend's party then you are in for a very rude awakening.

I'm a bit at the fact that people are so quick to make comments about leaving religion up to the child to choose, 'there's no such thing as a catholic/hindu etc child', but think it's perfectly okay to assume a child will be vegetarian, which is after all just as much the parent's choice as religion is at this age.

FWIW, I think you need to see how your ds feels about it. He may not appreciate having to eat different food from his mates, and frankly once he's old enough to eat without you being there to supervise it, there's not much to stop him making choices you don't approve of anyway.

At the school I teach at there's always a veggie option. We as teacher's are aware fo any children in the school who can't eat certain things whether that is for medical or ethical reasons. We have a list in the classroom and the midday supervisors have one in the register too. I have to say the vegetarian food is a bit repetitive but then so are the dinners, they go on a 4 week cycle.
I do think expecting people to think about things like jelly might be a bit much. To a non-vegetarian jelly might seem a perfectly ok thing to eat. Some of the veggie children at our school are allowed jelly and some aren't but generally they make that decision themselves. I would say if you want to be absolutely certain then send packed lunch unless your ds knows for definite what he is and isn't allowed.

There's no moral difference between a parent raising their child as a vegetarian or one raising their child as an omnivore. Both decisions are the parents' choice.

I don't understand why people whose families eat meat get so defensive about vegetarians. It's no skin off your nose!

Indeed edam.

We are 'lucky' in having one veggie member of the family (or rather the dc are as they get to see what a veggie diet consists of. It's nothign to be scared of fgs!

I, however, as chief cook and bottle washer, find it a pita!

Ithink its perfectly acceptable to bring your kids up as veggie - and I think that once they can choose then its their choice isnt it.

At school is a different matter though - our school is compulsory school dinners and no packed lunches so the veggies have their own table and arent allowed to 'choose' a sausage roll for example as their parents would be shocked - a school has to go along with the parents cultural and ethical wishes surely?

My son often comes home and tells me longingly of the veggies mac and cheese lunch when he had to have the roast dinner or some such (they arent allowed to choose their lunches until year 1).

dd is 19, ds is 8 and both are life long veggies. Neither has ever shown any interest in eating meat & the older they get the more determined they are not to. Dd never had school dinners except for one christmas when I basically supplied the meal for her as the school would not but she wanted to sit with her friends. Ds however has had packed lunches until this winter. He fretted about being given meat or meat products but as there is a veggie option every day it was ok. He got bored with the choices (4 week rota) and asked to return to having a packed lunch. We have never had a problem at parties etc although ds stopped eating at after school club and pretty quickly we determined that the veggie option often had tuna/fish in Personally I find the idea that I should have allowed my children to eat meat ridiculous.