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Parents berated in head's letter

89 replies

UnquietDad · 19/11/2008 09:35

DD and DS's head teacher is generally very good, but does have an amusing habit of going off on one at the parents as if they were pupils.

Her latest is to send a snotty letter - personally addressed, but DD tells me "everyone got one" - saying how "disappointed" she is "that, you, as a family, have not returned your SEAL homework for this term", and "I'm sure this is an oversight". A copy of the original "homework" is attached to the note.

Aaaaagh! The reason we didn't do it the first time is that it's rubbish, it adds nothing to their education, and we haven't got time to be piddling about with such a load of shite. It's basically asking us to come up with a "home charter" of rules for our household and submit it to school. Er, no thanks. if we do that kind of thing it's for our own use only.

OP posts:
DisasterArea · 19/11/2008 09:37

i think you should reply using that exact sam sentence. that'll show him.
and also yes. quite agree. we were supposed to do something similar, what are your family laws or somesuch and i objected becase those are family rules and this is school it is different.

sparklestickchick · 19/11/2008 09:38

I think they are big people in a small persons world and they think in real life they are the same unforunately it doesnt work like that- is it worthy of an equally snotty letter back?

Dottoressa · 19/11/2008 09:40

Hahahaha. You really should Go Private, UQD. That way you'd avoid such tossy nonsense...

hippipotami · 19/11/2008 09:42

Oh my word what a pile of poo! And what does SEAL stand for?

That sounds like the sort of thing dd's headteacher would come up with [worry]

edam · 19/11/2008 09:48

You 'as a family'? So it's not homework for the children to write about their family rules - which would be reasonable - but asking the parents to devise a charter that you may not want in the first place?

Very cheeky. Tell him to mind his own business.

bamboostalks · 19/11/2008 09:49

Very supportive of the school UDQ. SEAL has landed on them, like everything else, unsolicited from on high somewhere. They are carving out time in a cramped timetable to pursue it as many children (obviously not yours but hey as long as you and your family are sound who gives a toss about others?) and families need it desperately.

Anna8888 · 19/11/2008 09:52

Crikey. How horrible.

Yes, you should write back to the head teacher in equally polite but condescending tones.

chocolateteapot · 19/11/2008 09:54

That would annoy me a lot. DS's head deals with the SEAL stuff by putting a question of the week in his newsletter which comes on a Friday and doesn't actually ask for any feedback, which seems a sensible way of doing it.

bamboostalks · 19/11/2008 09:55

Horrible Anna? Isn't that a bit OTT? Dreading in dog shit is horrible, receiving a reminder letter from school is barely on the scale surely?

AMumInScotland · 19/11/2008 09:55

The headteacher does not have authority to set homework for "the family" to do, nor to require families to come up with sets of house-rules, and personally I'd be writing back with a detailed explanation of where he could insert said homework exercise if anyone tried that with me!

MadamePlatypus · 19/11/2008 09:57

" It's basically asking us to come up with a "home charter" of rules for our household and submit it to school."

And what on earth are they going to do with it if they get it? Mark it? Make it into origami? Refer back to it at your next parent teacher meeting? Put it in an archive box and send it off to a storage company?

MadamePlatypus · 19/11/2008 10:01

bamboostalks, I am interested to know how, in practice, this would help a family.

Anna8888 · 19/11/2008 10:01

Horrible for the school to be interfering in home life to this extent. I would be horrified if this happened to us.

cupsoftea · 19/11/2008 10:01

Need to reply with as much management lingo as poss - that will confuse them lol

abraid · 19/11/2008 10:02

I do sometimes feel that homework has been extended from something that an individual child does to something which the whole family has to do. Sorry, but we have lots of interesting hobbies and activities we like doing when the children are at school. We don't need the school to organise our precious free time for us.

bamboostalks · 19/11/2008 10:05

Presumably, it would be used in lessons as a teaching aide for the children to discuss etc. But no, Madame Platypus, you are right, all the teachers will get together in the staff room after school and make origami shapes with them. After they compose more outrageous letters to parents of course.

edam · 19/11/2008 10:07

Yeah, reply with some management jargon about your family not working in silos and what you want to do 'going forwards' etc. etc. As much boardroom bingo as you can get in!

bamboostalks · 19/11/2008 10:09

SEAL is used to help children who are generally, but not always, from the most disadvantaged backrounds. Those who have never seen a knife and fork when they arrive in school, who have never had a normal conversation and so cannot express emotions in a normal way. There has been the most ridiculous over reaction on this page to quite an innocuous letter imo.

Notquitegrownup · 19/11/2008 10:11

Family rules

We will not to have hard and fast rules in our house, but will support each other and listen to each other.

We will allow each other to be creative in our spare time, and not let school work impede on our family life.

We will respect each others' rights to make choices and not to have to explain them all the time.

Hmmm - those were supposed to be ironic and directed at him, but I think that they might be quite good! I['m going to keep those!

AMumInScotland · 19/11/2008 10:14

If the school think it would be a good idea to discuss the sorts of house rules people could have, to get children from disadvantaged backgrounds to be aware of what other families are like, why don't they just start with a set of rules which the teacher makes up and then everyone can comment on? They could even add in some obviously silly ones so that no-one felt "got at" because their family didn't do all of them.

The "disadvantaged" familes are not going to write up a set of house rules just because the teacher asks them to, or because they think that's what "middle-class" familes all do.

Personally, I would probably be counted as middle-class, and definitely not disadvantaged, but I've never once considered writing up house rules. We just don't live our lives that way, and I sure as hell wouldn't do it as "homework".

abraid · 19/11/2008 10:15

Come on UQD, admit that you don't use knives and forks...

Mercy · 19/11/2008 10:17

What is SEAL homework?

MadamePlatypus · 19/11/2008 10:18

But, bamboostalks, is setting 'homework' for these families the best way to approach the problem? If UQD isn't doing his homework, do you think the children who have never seen a knife and fork are going to do theirs?

Can't you see that this is a bit of an odd thing to ask all families to do? The aims may be admirable, but that doesn't make the chosen method any less barmy.

guyFAwkesreQuiem · 19/11/2008 10:20

MuminScotland - you may have never cosidered writing down your house rules - but I bet your have some......

bamboostalks · 19/11/2008 10:24

I agree, I think that it won't be completed by many families who need it most but what annoys me is the supercilious attitude of posters who seem to think that the school is being totally heavy handed unnecessarily. There is a pervasive attitude on mumsnet that is negative towards to schools and superior towards teachers. I read comments all the time that make my blood boil.

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