I stumbled across Mumsnet 13 years ago as I was googling advice for my Year 1 son following a brutal parents’ evening. His teacher had just told me my bright, articulate summer-born son was not meeting expectations in reading, writing and maths. She went on to tell me not to worry too much about his upcoming phonics test, as he would have a chance to redo it next year.
Mumsnet was largely unsympathetic; the most common advice was to get over myself — clever parents do not always mean clever children — and to love the kid you have. The kinder answers suggested reading, trips to museums and enriching his education in other ways. Some loved to harp on about how the kids on the top table at their primary all went on to great things, and it was obvious how bright kids were from an early age — teachers can always spot it. My son had just been moved to the bottom table a few weeks before, so that particularly stung.
So that is what I did: loved my kid, read to him lots, and got over myself. He was happy, attendance was great, and he hit “met expectations” occasionally, but most years was “working towards.” He did, however, pass his Year 6 SATs and managed greater depth in maths — a pleasant surprise for his teacher.
Secondary school continued in a similar vein: coasting along in the middle sets and loving life. GCSE mocks were a wake-up call, and he actually started to apply himself and ended up with a decent set of grades.
He got his A levels yesterday: A, A, A — we are all delighted. But what have I learned?*
• Education is a marathon, not a sprint.
• Comprehensive schools are essential — I suspect the outcome would have been different in an 11+ area.
• Trust your instincts; teachers don’t always know best.
• Finally, read, read and read some more.