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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

For all those thinking of NOT going to Sports Day.......................

106 replies

Collision · 24/06/2008 14:27

................please re-think as it is so important to little ones!

This morning 4 children were upset that their parents hadn't turned up and had no one to cheer for them!

In the end I took it in turns to cheer for each one and they looked so happy!

At the end I gave ds a hug to say goodbye and his friend George started crying as he had no one to give him a hug!! So I hugged him too and the others I had been cheering for as well as they formed an orderly queue!

so please take a half day off work and go and see your child in the races!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Hulababy · 24/06/2008 17:11

foofi - that happened to DH last year. We were both going to go as it was DD's first but it rained. So DH and I went out to the Trafford Centre shopping, and then went out for lunch together. Was lovely DH couldn't make the rearranged day, but I could.

This year the school held sport's day in the local sport's arena which in indoors - fab. DH couldn;t make it as he had to go to see the circket at Trent Bridge - work apparently! But not a problem as I could go anyway.

I do disagree that sport's day is a horrid event though. DD loves it, and all the children put in so much effort. It is lovely to see, espcially when they are little.

annh · 24/06/2008 19:17

Collision, I appreciate your post was made with the best of intentions but in the vast majority of cases parents who can be there do go to sports dDay (or class assembly/nativity play/whatever).

I have recently given up work and therefore this year, for the first time ever, I will be one of those mums who can saunter down to the playing fields, lay out a picnic and not worry about what time the sports day will actually end, whether I will be able to get changed into work clothes in the car park, whether I'll make it onto the train that I hope I can get etc. However, two years ago I was so stressed and guilty about leaving my boys at their sports day and feeling like I was the only person rushing back to my car that I got to work and promptly burst into tears. I felt so bad that when I called my husband I couldn't even get the words out to explain how I felt. Had I read your post then, it truly would have been the fnal straw in my self-awarded position of Crap Mother. It's nice that you were there for the kids whose parents couldn't make it but they may have had very good reasons. I remember a little girl in one of my boys classes whose mother was also "tired" a lot. What that actually meant was that she was having chemo after having a breast removed because of cancer. You can't necessarily know what is going on in other people's lives.

For all the people who may have read your post and felt that they can, in fact, cancel an appointment or juggle something around or make a bigger effort to get to sports day this year, there are probably an equal number now for whom your post is probably the final nail in their coffin of guilt and stress.

Dropdeadfred · 24/06/2008 20:12

good post annh. And I'm happy for you that this year you get to 'saunter down and have a picnic'

GetOrfMoiLand · 24/06/2008 20:25

annh you are the voice of sanity and reason in what was, imho, a very judgey thread. I hope you have a lovely sports day this year

I have spent years juggling work and events like these. It is vile to think of my dd being upset on the occasions that I couldn't make it to one of here events. But, on the upside, I think my sometime non-attendance at sports day has meant she has avoided the embarassment of watching me in the mothers' race!

littlebrownmouse · 24/06/2008 20:37

I'm a teacher at the school my DS attends. I missed him running both his races at sports day as I was sorting out the children in my class (I'm there for them when at work, not him). DH who was at home with DD (2) didn't go to sports day even though he could have done as we didn't feel it was appropriate to make DD sit out on a school field in the blazing sunshine for two hours to see DS run two races with a combined duration of about 30 seconds (he's in reception, so races are not very long!). We explained this to DS, he's very sensible and was fine about it, came last in both races and was totally proud of himself. Niether I, nor DH feels in any way guilty as we made the decision that it would be worse for DD to be there for the whole afternoon, than for DS to have nobody watching him. Life is not black and white, there are no right or wrong answers about whether to attend sports day or not and children need to understand that parents have other resposnibilities at various times in thier lives(other than sports days I mean, not things more important than children). I have no idea which of the children in my class had parents at sports day, we made a fuss of every one of them and cheered them all on, even when they were racing against each other. DH called in to see DS playing rounders, with parachute, skipping etc on another day, DD was able to join in and every body was happy.

unknownrebelbang · 24/06/2008 20:56

I've heard a whisper our school aren't having one this year, and last year's didn't take place because of the weather.

Collision, it's not that simple. I work pt, and quite flexibly, and usually manage to attend, but there are limits.

Two years ago the date was changed because of the weather, and the new date (at short notice) coincided with the day I went back to work after being off sick for a few days, so I just couldn't attend.

DH couldn't attend either, sometimes he just can't get the time off.

We have no other relatives able to attend on our behalf, not during the day.

islandofsodor · 24/06/2008 21:22

Littlebrownmouse, your sitauation is similar to a play dd was in at an out of school activity where I work. I was backstage looking after the older kids. They were waiting to go on and I was looking from the wings trying to see dd's bit. However the two should know better 11 year olds were too busy panicking that they didn't know their lines (if they had put in 1 oz of work they might have done) and due to their pratting around I totally missed all of dd's lines, song and dance.

littlebrownmouse · 24/06/2008 21:38

Aww, its hard isn't it Islandofsodor. I presume you pretended you'd seen and heard DD and were very proud of her! The most difficult moment I've had as a parent-working-at-DS's-school was on one of our other sports festivals when he'd been on my activity and was running to the next and fell on the playground. He hit his head, chin, elbows and knees and had a mouthful of grit. I went and checked all his teeth were still there, gave him a quick cuddle and passed him on to my TA to sort out as I had another group waiting at my activity! i was quite proud of him and myself as he was dealt with in a way any other child would have been in the same situation (yes, we do give the odd cuddle when children are hurt!) Sorry, totally off the point, although obviously sports day related!

islandofsodor · 24/06/2008 21:47

Yes, I did. It did help I had seen a lot of the rehearsals.

Going totally off topic it is embarrasing when you walk in the girls toilets to find them flooded by someone who has obviously held their hand under the tap and spurted water and you knew 2 girls had been in those toilets, one of whom was your own child.

She didn't admit to it but I knew it was her. Eventually dh got the truth out of her!!!

lou33 · 24/06/2008 21:49

i didnt go to dd2/ds1's sports day as i felt so crap, but dd1 went along to cheer them on

they werent fussed tbh

redrobin · 24/06/2008 21:53

collision you sound very kind and i hope that the mums of the children you cheered for appreciate you.

mistressmiggins · 24/06/2008 21:54

I'm such a crap mum that today was "Teddy bears picnic" and I forgot DS(6) teddy. I gave him my teddy off my key ring & he seemed ok.
BUT I had remembered DS's speech therapy bag, new suncream for DD's nursery, something beginning with "V" for DD at nursery, and the food item for the picnic.

I want to go to DS's sports day but getting time off work isnt easy, especially as I'm a single parent who has to cover 5 out of 6 weeks of the summer holiday cos my exH will only have them for 1 week. I also have to cover ALL half terms plus Easter, so I dont have much holiday to go around.

Having said all this, I do agree with Op's post BUT its not as simple as saying we should all go because sometimes we cant

lou33 · 24/06/2008 22:02

i do loathe sports days though

KatyMac · 24/06/2008 22:04

Feeling very guilty

DH & I will not be at sports day

We feel quite crap about it

We will be at hospital over 100 miles away

Not much choice really

Sidge · 24/06/2008 22:17

I will be missing half of DD1s sports day tomorrow (should just make it in time to avoid do the parents race.)

I don't have the sort of job where I can take the time off, or leave early. Luckily DD1 understands that I might not make it until the end.

Mind you if parents don't come because they are too busy lying on the sofa eating Mars Bars and watching Trisha then that's just poor.

madness · 25/06/2008 10:43

well, I will take a half day off, to be at sportsday.

I think Collison makes a valid point for those parents who could make it but can't be bothered. Like my DH, who stayed at home last weekend (2 min WALK from home) to see his dc dance at the school fayre.

madness · 25/06/2008 10:45

also depends on the child,
even if no one had turned up, dc1 would have been fine, but dc2 would have been terribly upset

Chequers · 25/06/2008 10:50

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 25/06/2008 10:51

Message withdrawn

SheherazadetheGoat · 25/06/2008 10:57

parents didn't come to sports days when i were a girl. this is crazyness. i think the op is a little smug.

bah!

PrimulaVeris · 25/06/2008 11:03

I work p/t and am very fortunate in that I can usually jiggle to attend MOST of my dc's school events. Sports days are a PITA if rescheduled because of the weather. It's not easy and tbh the flipside is that afterwards they spend the afternoon/evening stuck in front of the TV whilst I catch up on work.

I don't know anyone who does not attend Sports Day because they can't be arsed. The ones who do not attend are those who really, really can't.

Chequers · 25/06/2008 11:03

Message withdrawn

Chequers · 25/06/2008 11:05

Message withdrawn

shinyshoes · 25/06/2008 11:05

I make sure I boomk the day off at the beginning of the school year. I try and do as much as I can.

PIMMS FOR THE PARENTS.

I will bloody complain about that,where's mine we don't get so much as a bloody orange squash.

Fennel · 25/06/2008 11:10

I am "fortunate" that I can almost always work from home and take time off for school and preschool events. but actually, there are an awful lot of events. There are 3 for me in the sports day week alone. and others the week before and after. At some point I do have to do the odd bit of work, even in a flexible job.

Especially as I already bend my hours around drop offs and pick ups and holidays and all sorts of other things.

I am probably not going to bother taking the day off for school sports day, DP is off that day and can go, and I will do some work that day and instead go to the yr 3 assembly and the yr 2 assembly and the pre-school sports day and the 2pm music concert and the many other miscellaneous events.

sometimes I would really like an "inflexible job" where I could just say "sorry, can't do it. have to work...".

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