For all those thinking of NOT going to Sports Day.......................

[Collision]

................please re-think as it is so important to little ones!

This morning 4 children were upset that their parents hadn't turned up and had no one to cheer for them!

In the end I took it in turns to cheer for each one and they looked so happy!

At the end I gave ds a hug to say goodbye and his friend George started crying as he had no one to give him a hug!! So I hugged him too and the others I had been cheering for as well as they formed an orderly queue!

so please take a half day off work and go and see your child in the races!

Riven....

Hmm, I think the problem is that some people do feel that this is an aggressive statement when it clearly wasn't meant to be.

I work full time and in a very full-on job. I did make it to the DCs sports day last week but it was very hard and incredibly stresful for me to do it - and involved me running between the action and the car in a car park half a mile away where I had to take conference calls. Yes, I wish I could have turned up in a floaty dress and cheered them on while sipping Pimms, but the reality is my life just isn't like that. Sports Day for us was 1pm in an athletic stadium some way away from public transport to 4pm, and for me to see the first races at 1pm (which were the ones DD were in, being the youngest), meant leaving the office at 11.30am - so its not just a question of "taking off a half day" either. DH also came along, and he was also having to field calls from the office due to some stuff that blew up.

I was talking to one of DS's mate's parents who are both Drs - one a psychiatrist, I think, and one a consultant in a hospital, who said it was hugely difficult for them as well. And actually as we all agreed, its even harder for other people - teachers, people with inflexible shifts etc.

Plus I know several people had issues with collecting other children from other schools, given we were in the middle of nowhere at usual pick up time.

So someone just saying "do your hardest to get to Sports' Day as it really matters to the children" is not something that I just nod my head at and think "you are right, i must try harder". I think "lucky people if the only decision you have to make is whether you can be bothered to go or not".

For the record, I think they are a great thing and ours was very enjoyable.

I love the smell of napalm guilt in the morning afternoon! Heaven forbid anyone suggest some parents go a tiny bit extra to be there for their kids.

If you have absolutely no choice but to work/cannot get to the school without a private jet/have just been run over then you can't go to the sports day/whatever and why feel guilty about it. If your child's upset by that it's gutting but a fact of life. If having time off is manageable or you're at home watching Jeremy Kyle then Collision's right, make the effort to be there. Totally agree that it doesn't always have to be mum/dh - rope anyone and everyone in just to have someone there.

Last Christmas was the first time dd had been in a 'proper' Christmas play and was a bit tired with all the prep and getting cranky about the whole thing. I knew I couldn't be there for their first performance (was an afternoon deal and I had a presentation that if I missed without medical reason I could fail my course), but would be there in the evening. I asked one of the other mums to watch out for dd, who apparently showed off magnificently to said mum.... and then in the evening with me there turned into a misery who wanted to hide behind the stage . Turns out having mum there isn't a recipe for success but having someone there is appreciated. 30 kids in a class = at least 29 parents who can be begged to do a bit of clapping and smiling in the right direction, how hard is it! No-one's saying YOU have to be at every single event else your dc will be forever scarred .

I think the OP is offensive because most of the working parents, especially mothers, I know, are going to enormous lengths to both do a good professional job and still be there a lot for their children.

If they can't make sports day, it's never, IME, out of not bothering. They don't need anyone giving them any grief about it.

my parents both worked. they didn't always make sports days. We were fine. we understood that they were at work. It didn't make us feel unloved. in fact I was always quite proud of my mother for working in a job she enjoyed.

Last year I got the time wrong and turned up 1 hour late for dd's 1st sports day.

She never even noticed I wasn't there.

Thing is I have sports day this week, prize day next week etc etc etc. It is just not always possible.

I agree that's it's nice to be there if you can but jeez, these schools have so much on.
This week alone DD is in a swimming gala and an athletic meet, DS is in a concert.
Add to this a workman wrecking my utility room, a dentist appointment for DS, a flat tyre and a meeting with a consultant. Oh and there's the work...
I try to do as much as I can but there's only one of me. The swimming will have to be uncheered on I'm afraid.
Also, I do wonder if it does the DCs no harm to know that they're not actually the centre of the entire universe.

Collision, I don't believe we've ever crossed paths before. I'd love to know why you've singled me out for personal attack, if you'd like to exaplain?

Plenty of other people disagree with your OP but you haven't declared them to be "so horrible".

I even said you sounded like a wonderful parent and you attacked me, you have really offended me.

I don't think my mother ever came to sports day - certainly not once I was in middle school. The only thing that bothered me was that kids whose parents were there were allowed to go home early. Apart from that it was really no skin off my nose, not being particularly competitive or sporty.

Collision was just pointing out how important it is to the DC to have a parent supporting at sports day, I think she is quite understanding that it isn't always possible.

sorry I offended SMN......think it was FT who wound me up with rudeness and I took it out on you!

Ok collision FWIW I do understand the point you were making.

I notice FT hasn't been back to defend herself!

I can't take the day off either and neither can dh - both teachesr here -

I shall be sending grandparents though - lucky them

Mond you we didn't have one last year due the atrocious weather!

'friends'?????

LOL - tis like school again!!

problem is though, it isn't jsut one half day. It's three of the buggers!

Ds1's was today, and I forgot. dd's is friday and I'm still debating whether to go or not.

Friends!

Anchovy on Tue 24-Jun-08 15:10:38

what she said.

DH & I tried to share going to Sports Days for Yr1 & 2, but after that, IF we knew we couldn't make it we told them in advance so they would not be looking for us.

Both were very good about it - we got to some but not all. By Yr6 they really didn't care.

I would rather save my half days for School plays etc that they practice for than for sitting through loads of races my kids AREN'T in for the one or two they are in.

I don't think anyone should feel guilty about not being able to attend because of work, but people who don't go because they can't be bothered is something completely different.

I know someone who last year didn't go to sports day because 'i can't be arsed', and who also didn't go to her sons literacy workshop 'because it is boring'.

Those type of people are the only ones who should feel guilty.

It's an entirely personal thing - for some people these events are a priority, for others they are not. I don't think it's your place to judge. You don't know what other people's commitments are.

Also, have you ever taken a day off for a sports day (or similar) only to find it cancelled, and then been unable to take the day off when the rescheduled event takes place? Very annoying.

And, as Hulababy says, if you're a teacher yourself, you simply CAN'T take the day off.