private vs state primary schools in cetrnal london- myths and facts???

[beforesunrise]

hello all, i am hoping to get lots of different points of view on my query, because i am quite lost, honestly. dd1 is 2.5 and we live in nw london, at the borders of a really affluent area and a not so affluent one. we are not british so finding it really hard to navigate the system and understand the truth.

the primary schools near us all have poor ofsted reviews- and most have huge percentage of refugees/sn. there's a rc within busing distance that has an 'outstanding' review, and i have already put her down for nursery there- no gtee she'll get in of course, although we are practicing catholics so fingers crossed.

i have also put her down for all the private schools in the area, of which there are many! and it's already cost me a small fortune in application fees (which annoys me no end). private school would be just within our reach financially, but would be a big sacrifice esp considering we have 2 dds. we would prob never move out of our flat and will have to forsake fancy holidays and cars etc- which of course we'd do for the sake of our kids but still- it also means dh would always feel under pressure to work really hard and bring home lots of money, which i think puts a strain on family too.

culturally and 'politically' i loathe the idea of sending my kids to private school from age 4, but i have been scared witless by all the stories i have heard, not just of really bad schools/kids not learning to read and write etc, but also by the claims that "unless they go to private school they will never get into a decent secondary" etc.

trouble is, much as i like the people who tell me these stories, they all send their kids to private schools so i never get to hear the other side of the story. surely it can't be so bad? and there must be decent state secondaries in london too?

please please help- i am confused. will start touring schools in september but would like to go in armed with a better idea of what to expect...

Get your son baptised asap, never too late. St Vincent's in Marylebone is v. good.

Wish I'd read this before starting the school hunt for dd, very reassuring, sort of the First Timer's Guide

Yet another well described by Frogs, here. We looked at two private and two state primaries in our (SW) area, and found that we actively disliked one of the private ones, weren't excited about the second, were very impressed by one state primary (but didn't like the headmaster, or the ethos, or being shown how 'well behaved' the children were), and actually fell for the scruffiest and smallest of them all, with the least MC/wealthy parents, which has an incredible atmosphere, staff who never leave, kids who run up to talk to you about their work etc

I would never have believed I'd have picked this one, tbh - I hoped to want to send dd to state primary, but I sort of didnt' expect to, if that makes any sense

I think going in to see and feel a place is ten times more useful than an Ofsted, though I looked at those too and all of them were good. Also, if I'd gone by reputation I'd have written this one off - it was thought to be 'rough' some years ago, but clearly isn't now.

Still nervous, for all the wrong reasons and a few normal ones, but wouldn't change the decision.

Plus it has the advantage of shocking a few of the local parents, who are going by the very out of date reputation

Isn't Millbank where Gordon Brown is sending his ds?

If it's good enough for the PM...

wow well I'll look into millbank a bit more! I expect it is oversubscribed. How can you find out if you are in a schools catchment area?

Don't panic!
As another poster said, the paying parents need to justify their decision.
I would go for the outstanding catholic myself.
Good Luck

Second all the advice on here.

I attended local drop-ins and parent and toddler groups when DD1 was your DD's age. I found that the conversations consisted of little else than which schools parents rated as their children approached nursery age. You may well find that you can glean quite a lot of infromation from other people's research. Basically everyone more or less knew which were the best schools, although not everyone wants the same thing - I was often surprised by friends picking schools that I had ruled out for whatever reason.

I also agree that you would probably get your DD into the Catholic school eventually, but do you really want a bus ride for her every day?

As a Christian you will have priority over other faiths at any CofE school too. Are you sure there is nothing suitable nearer to you?

In my limited experience many of the prep school parents esp in N London are just a little too focussed on results and ensuring that they can see that they are getting "value for money", and I think that some of the kids suffer as a result. Near ly every parent in the playground is desperately worried that their 6 yo has only started learning one instrument, or aren't in the top set. I recently had lunch with one woman who was entirely indignant that her nephew was on a higher level reading book than her son of the same age when the said nephew went to a state school...

Parents usually head to private schools either to avoid poor teaching or because they want to avoid poor pupils, and generally the latter. (By poor I'm not just refering to their economic status). As a result prep schools not only fail to reflect local life, but you do end up with a high concentration of alpha mothers with incredilbly high expectations of the school, their children and themselves. From what I can see girls suffer more in this sort of pressure, so personally I would aim for a good state certainly at primary.

I went to a Catholic Primary school in NW6, and got full scholarships into several independent schools at 11 and later went to Oxford. Nothing wrong with state primaries in Kilburn.

Millbank is ace, mw23. My boys were there from reception to y3 until we moved. Lovely friendly school, superb head, cute red sweatshirts, what's not to like? I think Gordon Brown's son is going there soon. I wonder if that will change the atmosphere via increased security. Hope not.

Good luck finding a good school for dd, beforesunrise.

Scummy! Long time no see, or have you been namechanging? Where did you move to?

We are in Fulham and really pleased with local state school.

Hi frogs! Nice to see you. We've moved to SE London and due to extremely poor organisation skills and passive aggressive disagreements over whose job it was to get the internet connection sorted have been offline for 7 months. How are you?

Saarfeast London eh?

yes but tis sarf of the rivva frogs

i will also continue to speak to scumster as she's lovely - how are you????

'M 'all right, spose.

the leg?

gee thanks! Well, luckily I and mine are in love with Peckham! And I have an allotment, since the Olympics haven't come to bulldoze them all away like they have in Hackney. ner ner ner ner ner. The twinscum do miss Millbank though and so do I. Their new school seems alright though. They don't seem to do much work but one of them made a great model (of a nintendo ds) in their art class.

why art thou pissed off, frogs?

a frogs leg problem?

hackney rules . hello scummy. and bundle. and frogs.

re dodgy looking schools - ds is in yr 1 having a lovely time at our very local state primary in hackney. it had a dreadful ofsted previously, but has a reasonably new head & a great shiny new ofsted report. there is a small but growing middle class contingent which i have no doubt will increase enormously with the better ofsted. and don't underestimate proximity - a school run of 3 minutes on foot makes everyone's lives happier.

Mm. Frog's leg kaput. Long and painful story involving a bicycle and a stay in hospital. And a bunch of metal plates and screws. Bummer.

But Peckham?

at allotment, though.

Sorry for hijacking your thread, btw, sunrise!

hadn't thought of that

frogs

leg

snigger

(sorry frogs)

Actually, it's not Peckham but Nunhead Village, according to my neighbour. Pretty near Peckham, though.

v sorry to hear about your frogsleg problem. Sounds scary an painful.

Hi hoxty.