Welfare check after three day absence - is this normal?

[SnottyLittleMango]

Hi, I have no experience of this as DD8 has had 100 percent attendance for the last two years, but has had a really nasty virus this week and has been off since Tuesday. I've called the school each morning to let them know but we had a welfare officer turn up this morning asking to see her. No problem with that- she was sat on the sofa with DH both in PJs as he's also got the bug now, I was just surprised especially as he was a bit rude to DH, asking why he was dressed like that (in his PJs I assume) in a pretty snarky way. Is this normal for a three day absence from primary? No problems at all with the school.

I've read through the school's attendance policy and it states that if your child is ill you should call school and leave a message on the dedicated answerphone service before 8.40am - which is exactly what I've been doing. It also says that school will attempt to contact parents by call / text if they don't get notification and if no response might do a welfare check. We've definitely not had any missed calls or texts from them so seems weird even if they have somehow missed my messages to jump straight to a welfare check. The policy is over three years old so might have changed and not been updated on the website - I'll call and query today when they open.

Sorry @marcopront I misunderstood this too - thinking about it the school has been sending a lot of communications about attendance, and doing stuff like prize draws and certificates for good attendance over the last couple of years, so may well be a general issue. I've not really paid attention as DD's attendance was perfect before this so there wasn't anything I could do to improve it!

When dd missed weeks of school the welfare lady did need to see her very quickly in her own rooma couple of times. DD wasn't leaving the house so that was the best we could do.

The lady was very kind, said hello and that was pretty much it. I was standing outside her room and DD knew it would happen. It didn't feel intrusive. Box ticky, yes. But there was no point in me wasting the schools time refusing it when they really did have vulnerable children to deal with and track down.

I still think it is excessive.
Do they honestly think a child is going to speak up in a house with parents hovering around?

Surely if she was of for weeks then she'd have been seen by Doctors.
So a Doctors note would suffice that she was ill.
Or if it was MH issues then you'd be in touch with school and working with them to get her back.

Honestly these Welfare Officers sound like a waste of time, the money would be better spent on having extra social workers to deal with children who are in genuine need.

No doctors. She was off for MH issues so there wasn't an option of going back for some time. There's nothing CAMHS and GP's could do anyway. She missed 18 months before going in for exams. Towards the end they just saw her at the front door once a month.

@Needspaceforlego need to identify children that need social workers

Absolute madness, I'd not let some weird, nosy stranger snoop in our bedrooms. And teenagers will be absolutely mortified to have someone from school pay a visit li that.

The headteacher sounds insane and on a power trip. I know one or two people who would LOVE a job where they get to snoop and control families like that. Ex teachers too.

It's ridiculous, isn't it? I hate the way that so many automatically conflate privacy and dignity with 'something nefarious to hide'. Taken ad absurdum, you may as well suspect anybody who closes and locks a public toilet cubicle door of obviously being up to something shameful and probably criminal.

So a child with hitherto perfect attendance and no concerns... and we all know that, as humans, we can very easily get illnesses that may require absence from work/school for two or three days to recover. Why on earth would you go straight to 'abuse'?

Yes, some parents do lie, and some do abuse their children and hide it; but a huge, huge amount more parents have children who are human and sometimes get ill. Automatically suspecting foul play here is the equivalent of accusing your DH of having an affair because he spoke to the woman who served him in a shop.

This has shocked me! My son had to have one week off due to an operation and no one bundled round my house on day three to check he really was recuperating.

It's disgusting and shaming to insist on barging into somebody's private home and then criticising them for how they're dressed - whether they're unwell or not. I work from home and I dress casually - not pyjamas personally, but there'd be nothing wrong if I did choose that.

Obviously if I have a meeting or other occasion that means other people will actually see me in a professional context, I will indeed dress appropriately. If you don't want to see what people wear in their own private homes, there's an extremely easy way of not doing so...

If you had any safeguarding training you would understand why a 3 day absence warrants a home visit. The school has a legal responsibility to safeguard children. You really need a better understanding of what safeguarding is. It is not assuming that every absent child is being abused. It is acknowledging that the absent child COULD be being abused. That ANY child, regardless of previous attendance, COULD be being abused. It is knowing that abuse can happen ANYWHERE.

A child not in school for 3 days means that other adults with legal responsibility for safeguarding them has not laid eyes on the child. ‘Eyes on’ is a normal safeguarding procedure in schools.

Please educate yourself about what safeguarding children actually is and understand that previous good attendance has no bearing on how a school may respond if they have not seen a child. The school has rightly followed its attendance policy and you should be pleased that it has. It keeps children safe.

It would serve these busybodies who insist on invading unwell people's private homes for no reasons for concern other than a common illness very well if they ended up catching it and suffering badly themselves.

Maybe then, they could phone in sick and have their boss coming over and barging into their home with the assumption that they're lying.

My god how on earth did you stay so calm?

I don’t know how I would keep my cool in a similar situation. I’m not saying i would shout or scream, but I am pretty sure I would refuse to engage further and escalate, escalate, escalate as far as I could. If it was a phone call I would also have said the comments were so outrageous I would be putting the call in speakerphone and recording it going forward to transcribe it into a complaints email. Unbelievable.

Where as I have a child with 50% attendance, been pushing for social work for years and no sign of a welfare officer ever.

Would the school rather the parent put their sick child in the car each day and produce them for the perusal of staff in the lobby of the educational establishment?

Absobloodylutely. Have a child with SEN or mental health difficulties and you won’t see anyone useful anytime soon.

You do not understand my post. Please read it again. It has nothing to do with a school wanting unwell children in school. Schools know that children will be unwell and can’t come in. As part of their attendance policy they have safeguarding protocols that they follow.

I may be worth you enrolling on an online free safeguarding course. It would help you to understand how schools keep children safe.

So what happens at half-term and in the school holidays, then? How can we possibly trust any parent not to abuse their child if a school employee hasn't seen them at least every other day?

Yes, abuse does happen, and safeguarding is crucial; but so is living in the real world and keeping a sense of proportion. For all I know, YOU could be an abuser and a danger to children, and have just covered your tracks so far and kept a clear DBS. I have no reason to suspect that you are, but how can i know for a fact?

Why are the parents of a child with otherwise excellent attendance who gets an illness - very often from another child at school as a direct result of obsessive attendance-at-all-costs policies - automatically under suspicion; but an adult who turns up and demands to go into the bedroom of a child, with the child there, is beyond all possibility of being an abuser? Again, I'm absolutely not saying that this teacher is an abuser; but what I'm saying is that, if I were an abuser, I imagine I would be very keen indeed to turn up unannounced on the doorsteps of children and seek to gain access to them whilst they're likely vulnerable and maybe only partially dressed in their bedrooms.

The school have overstepped here and as a parent I would be wanting to know why.

Dont patronise me with your Educate Yourself nonsense either.

It’s probably worth you reading the Department of Education’s Keeping Children Safe in Education document. It will help you to understand the legal responsibilities that schools have.

I've just spoken to the school and they've confirmed they have been receiving my messages and that the welfare check is standard for them after three days of absence. I've asked for a call from the Safeguarding Lead so I can clarify who I need to complain to re the pyjama comment.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply, after three sleepless nights with a poorly child I was spiralling a bit wondering if the school had concerns that we were harming our child, everyone sharing their stories and opinions has kept me sane xx

It’s about the school having a duty of care when the child is enrolled with the school and expected to attend during term time. Outside of term time (and of course over COVID when none of these establishments gave a shit) they aren’t required to know exactly where the child is.

As I’ve said to another PP I’d also recommend you read Keeping Children Safe in Education which the Department for Education produce. It outlines schools’ legal responsibilities to safeguard children. This will help you understand why schools have certain policies and procedures.

As a parent being knowledgeable about how schools keep children safe is worth knowing. It will help you to not direct unnecessary upset towards schools who are just carrying out their legal responsibilities.