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Welfare check after three day absence - is this normal?

178 replies

SnottyLittleMango · 05/03/2026 14:15

Hi, I have no experience of this as DD8 has had 100 percent attendance for the last two years, but has had a really nasty virus this week and has been off since Tuesday. I've called the school each morning to let them know but we had a welfare officer turn up this morning asking to see her. No problem with that- she was sat on the sofa with DH both in PJs as he's also got the bug now, I was just surprised especially as he was a bit rude to DH, asking why he was dressed like that (in his PJs I assume) in a pretty snarky way. Is this normal for a three day absence from primary? No problems at all with the school.

OP posts:
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marcopront · 05/03/2026 19:18

CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2026 19:09

OP, do you know your child's school's overall attendance level? I wonder if it is very poor, and these extreme procedures are the result.

I'd still refuse entry to the house, though. But would get my child to give them a wave at the top of the stairs.

Maybe some of these EWOs need some training. They should have liaised properly with school so that they know the families where there is a real concern that the child is not actually in bed sick.

Have you thought about reading the first two lines of the Op before posting?

SnottyLittleMango · 05/03/2026 19:23

CurlyhairedAssassin · 05/03/2026 19:09

OP, do you know your child's school's overall attendance level? I wonder if it is very poor, and these extreme procedures are the result.

I'd still refuse entry to the house, though. But would get my child to give them a wave at the top of the stairs.

Maybe some of these EWOs need some training. They should have liaised properly with school so that they know the families where there is a real concern that the child is not actually in bed sick.

The Friday before she fell ill we got a letter congratulating her on her hundred percent attendance for the year so far 😂. So definitely not related to poor attendance. I will call the school just to confirm this is their normal policy; fine if it is but I will also definitely be raising the comments about DH's pyjamas - he's very laid back so just laughed it off but it feels really intrusive and insulting to me.

OP posts:
Pricesandvices · 05/03/2026 19:23

Can you email instead? I never called my children schools, always an email so I had proof.

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 05/03/2026 20:58

Needspaceforlego · 05/03/2026 15:47

On what planet is it acceptable to demand access to a child's bedroom.
Thats so open to abuse. And plenty parents would leave a poorly teen home alone.

And even aside from that, I imagine a lot of teenagers who were minded to skip school might have done so because they wanted to stay in bed anyway. So if they did intrude into the teen's bedroom and find them asleep in bed, what have they actually proved? Or are they planning on giving them a full medical examination... you know, of the sort that the vast majority of school staff will not be remotely qualified to do - any more than your average GP would be qualified to mark a GCSE Music exam?

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 05/03/2026 21:06

The thing that disgusted me the most was he asked why we were so against a professional seeing our child.

How on earth did he ever qualify as any kind of teacher if he didn't understand that the GP who saw your DC the previous day was a professional? And, what's more, the right kind of professional to be able to advise and confirm when it comes to medical matters, unlike a school teacher?

Or is he one of these idiots who would insist on attending to somebody who'd had a serious accident in the street, because they once did a first aid course 17 years ago, and blocking the path of the actual paramedics who are standing right there?!

Most 3yo children would be able to tell you that you should go to the doctor if you're feeling very poorly, and s/he can help you to feel better. How utterly embarrassing for a deputy head teacher not to have as high a level of basic understanding as a pre-schooler.

EvelynBeatrice · 05/03/2026 21:09

Why are you so against a professional seeing your child? Why are you so against having a camera in your home if you’ve nothing to hide etc etc?

No.

3WildOnes · 05/03/2026 21:27

marcopront · 05/03/2026 19:18

Have you thought about reading the first two lines of the Op before posting?

I think you misread the post you are quoting.The poster is asking about the schools overall attendance levels not the OPs daughters overall attendance levels.

ItsmeMargo · 05/03/2026 21:34

DC1’s school does this, DC2’s doesn’t.

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/03/2026 21:42

I’ve never heard of this. DD was back in today after 3 days off, I emailed each day to say she was still ill and I’d have been gobsmacked if someone had shown up at my house to check.

Needspaceforlego · 06/03/2026 00:41

AntiqueBabyLoanSmurf · 05/03/2026 20:58

And even aside from that, I imagine a lot of teenagers who were minded to skip school might have done so because they wanted to stay in bed anyway. So if they did intrude into the teen's bedroom and find them asleep in bed, what have they actually proved? Or are they planning on giving them a full medical examination... you know, of the sort that the vast majority of school staff will not be remotely qualified to do - any more than your average GP would be qualified to mark a GCSE Music exam?

And I've just had another thought about this, a teenager is more than capable of asking for help in school if they have issues at home.

This is about bullying parents to keep attendance up. Not actually caring for kids.

sittingonabeach · 06/03/2026 00:58

Is there an Attendance Policy on school website?

Friendlygingercat · 06/03/2026 01:32

ANYONE who told me what to wear or do in my own home would get a mouthful and my foot up their ass to help them out. the door I loath these little tin gods who think they can come along and tell you what to do. I once threw a cheeky letting agent out of the house when I was renting and threatened to call the police if they came to my door again.

Frostynoman · 06/03/2026 01:38

I would email to ensure there’s a trail and I would also mention how unprofessional the AO was in commenting on your unwell husband attire

cannynotsay · 06/03/2026 02:06

Just sounds like they have missed the messages, check with school

Ree730 · 06/03/2026 02:16

I work in a secondary school in the attendance office and decide who gets a home visit.
It’s normal for a visit on day 3. It’s just a welfare check, especially as your child has previously had good attendance. They may also have been checking you were not on holiday.
It’s pretty standard irrespective of good attendance or not.

RawBloomers · 06/03/2026 03:00

SnottyLittleMango · 05/03/2026 19:23

The Friday before she fell ill we got a letter congratulating her on her hundred percent attendance for the year so far 😂. So definitely not related to poor attendance. I will call the school just to confirm this is their normal policy; fine if it is but I will also definitely be raising the comments about DH's pyjamas - he's very laid back so just laughed it off but it feels really intrusive and insulting to me.

I would make a formal complaint about the comments to your DH. It’s not only rude and showed a bias right of the bat, showing disrespect to him in front of your daughter is not in your DD’s best interests or in the interests of a good home/school relationship.

SouthernNights59 · 06/03/2026 03:06

Utter madness and a complete waste of resources.

whoosit · 06/03/2026 03:23

This is part of safeguarding children now. Like a previous poster said there have been some horrendous cases where a child hasn't been in school and something awful has happened to them. It won't necessarily be based on any specific concerns to you but is probably a safe and well check as a policy to make sure children are OK. School won't have access to GP records or anything like that so will just be checking the child is OK. I wouldn't take it as a personal concern about your family just a policy in place for safeguarding.

marcopront · 06/03/2026 04:10

3WildOnes · 05/03/2026 21:27

I think you misread the post you are quoting.The poster is asking about the schools overall attendance levels not the OPs daughters overall attendance levels.

My apologies
I had misread it.

ItsNotMeEither · 06/03/2026 04:15

While reading here, there’s no doubt some of these visits have been very intrusive, I also understand them.

As a child, neighbours were always screaming at their children, and I do mean screaming. The kids were regularly given the wooden spoon treatment and often missed school. I can remember it being discussed between neighbours many times, but nobody ever reported anything. I still think about those poor kids.

As a teen, one of my closest friends regularly missed school and when she did come, you could still see the marks on her legs and arms from the kettle cord she was whipped with.

While it’s a minute proportion of students facing these issues, it still happens, in all areas, including the nice ones. I’ve been a teacher for over 40 years and abuse happens far more than any of us would like to think.

Some of the stories her are awful, but I can also understand why some sort of follow up process, that doesn’t just rely on a parent’s word is needed. Of course, it’s usually those with nothing at all to hide who come out of it feeling like they’ve been accused of something, precisely because you do care about your children and can’t contemplate this the extreme abuse that happens to some.

Bowies · 06/03/2026 05:25

This doesn’t seem right in the absence of other concerns (safeguarding rather than attendance in DD case), however it seems you had no acknowledgment in 3 days they knew she was ill?

Did you actually speak to them?

Is there not an email address - then you have a paper trail and a response.

REDB99 · 06/03/2026 05:30

CarrierbagsAndPJs · 05/03/2026 14:24

I would have expected a welfare check on day one if you hadn't phoned it. Going to check when you have phoned in, if there are no other concerns or agencies involved, is madness.

However, I would always side with an unnecessary welfare check rather than another child like Chadrack Mulo dying as a result of his poor, poor mother dying unexpectedly.

‘Madness’ to check on an absent child? No it isn’t. Guess what? Parents lie! Abuse is hidden. It is absolutely right for a school to check on ANY absent child regardless of a parent calling in. I’d be very surprised if this wasn’t in every school’s attendance policy. It is basic safeguarding. Pretty worrying that you think safeguarding children is ‘madness’.

Winteriscoming80 · 06/03/2026 05:51

My dc’s school welfare check on day one,I don’t engage,I follow all the necessary procedures,I can see why more and more people are choosing to home educate!

Marchitectmummy · 06/03/2026 06:19

Needspaceforlego · 06/03/2026 00:41

And I've just had another thought about this, a teenager is more than capable of asking for help in school if they have issues at home.

This is about bullying parents to keep attendance up. Not actually caring for kids.

No it's not, abused children of any age do not always speak up. Very naive to assume age will ensure all will say something to someone about any form of abuse, grown women sometimes hide it.

newornotnew · 06/03/2026 06:33

Agree it is primarily about attendance not safeguarding.

OP - the pyjama remark was unacceptable and worthy of a formal complaint.