Child throwing chairs in classroom

[mondray]

I recently found out that there was an incident in my son’s classroom (year 2) where a student lost his temper and started throwing chairs around. It resulted in a student getting caught in the crossfire.
The teachers ushered out the rest of the children while they got the situation under control.

This was never mentioned to any of the parents and seems to have just spread like gossip through kids/parents over the next few weeks.

I am a bit in two minds about this situation. The child is new in the classroom, but I believe he might be SEN, which could explain the behaviour.
My own son wasn’t directly impacted, but has shown anxiety that this might happen again.

What would you as a parent do? Is it worth speaking to the school about it? Would you as a parent in this situation have expected to have been told that something like this happened in your child’s classroom?

I don’t want to be that parent, as I am sure the situation is being dealt with. But I am struggling with the fact that nothing has been communicated to us.

You know that’s funny. I did think twice before posting this as I assumed there was going to be some backlash from people that thought exactly that. Happy there’s only been a few.

It is possible to want to protect your child, but also feel for the other child, as things like this don’t happen for no reason. But parents should feel shamed for it.

There's a child in my DCs Y2 class that throws chairs/furniture/has other angry outbursts. The school have never mentioned it and I don't expect them to but the galling thing for me is how casually my DC talks about it, as if throwing chairs/furniture is a completely normal occurrence and its no big deal . When it's mentioned and I ask about it, my DC ust shrugs and says "because XChild gets angry". I have no doubt the child is probably struggling and has SEN support, and I'm sure it's hard for the teacher to manage but I do have an issue with the fact my 7 year old seems to think chair throwing is a normal thing.

I'm the teacher in the same situation. Please please go to headteacher (not the teacher, they can't do anything) and say the word SAFEGUARDING. Ask what they are doing to safeguard your child. Say the impact this is causing to your child. Please don't say anything bad about the teacher. I am currently on work related stress because of it. It's all awful.

Whst happrned to safeguarding is everyone's responsibility? Your duty is to report this in writing to the DSL, even if only to cover your arse.

OP you need to read "keeping children safe in education" KCSIE and quote KCSIE. If you want to send a Safeguarding rocket up schools arse.

It's the Bible of Safeguarding. No need to be rude or aggressive. That word will do the trick

The OPs priority is her child and his wellbeing and welfare.Seeing aggression and violence like that is disgusting. As a parent her job is to protect. She should be told was he is being exposed to!

The aggressive child no doubt has an army of people looking out for him, using up everyone’s time.

I don't disagree with the first part. Of course OP is just looking out for their child. They have a right to be concerned.

However, it is completely unrealistic to expect parents to be informed about every single incident, nor is it necessary. Most children actually wouldn't have batted an eyelid (a sad reflection of life in schools in 2026. That's not me brushing it aside, it's just the sad reality that such occurrences are not unusual these days). It's important that OP informs the school that their child is worried, so they know to keep an eye on his wellbeing if it happened again, but it's not necessary for them to inform all parents of every child who may have witnessed an incident. Anyone who thinks this is a) necessary and b) possible are putting unrealistic expectations on the school, who are sadly dealing with such behaviours day in day out. It would be a never ending cycle.

Again, I'm not brushing this aside as nothing. Clearly it's not acceptable behaviour. However, I genuinely can't think of any way schools could fulfill some people's wishes of informing parents about every single incident. It's totally unrealistic.

Evacuating a classroom is not a everyday occurance. If it is then IMO school is failing everyone very badly. It does incredible damage to the disregulated child too and should not be normalised. Doing nothing and being inert is harm.

As well as having a disregulated dd in mainstream I have boys in SEN schools. One boy at the SEN school was constantly attacking other pupils. They was sent to hospital. The police was called from year 5. Then just before his GCSE exam he broke a students nose so they both missed a vital GCSE. What was the point of protecting him all those years? To miss his exam. He needed to be in SEMH school and the kindness thing all round would have been to exclude him the first time he broke the first child's nose. Instead he has known all throughout his secondary education that sending people to hospital has no consequences. What chance has he as an adult?

OP needs to protect her dc. She can't fix the rest. As that parent of that child I couldn't fix it either easily. The system is broken. Accepting that isn't the answer.

This is state schooling now OP. So many kids, for whatever reason, can’t seem to deal with it. As a parent it’s put up and shut up cos it’s ‘free’

This incident will already have been logged on cpoms and the safeguarding lead will6 know about it.

They can't deal with it because they are largely raised by screens and adfictef to constant dopamine hits.Their inattentive parents arethemselves plugged into their devices. Children dont get to experience age appropriate independence or manage risk. Theirvbrains are nit developing properly. If you dont work with children you probably dont realise how fundamentally different they are to the kids of even 20 years ago, and that's just the ones who haven't got full-blown sen.
There's a growing bodu of research which links excessive screen time with the development of autism.

I don’t disagree (and have limits on screen time for my own kids). One of mine got put on the SEN register but after some discipline and understanding why he was behaving that way, his current teacher took him off. And yes, we punished him for behaving badly and it worked. You will be absolutely flamed here though, because no one thinks their parenting is to blame, in the slightest.

I feel for you but also understand how it is to be on the other side. With my first child I had similar incidents to you in nursery and primary and they are sensitive and hate seeing others upset or shouting so really struggled.

My second unfortunately is a chair thrower. He is autistic and we are on our 2nd primary school in year 1. Mainstream school. Yes it hss kept him out of special school but at what cost to him and others. He cannot be allowed out to play because of the risks he poses to other children, he is a lot bigger also. In class he throws chairs, harms other children and shouts at the teacher. Their current protocol is to remove all children from class. Removing him shows him nothing as he achieves his goal which is to be out of class.

I do not get told every time he does something. Only if serious harm has been caused. He will often tell me bits he remembers. I still remember tbe question I have posed to his previous and current school which is; how will you keep him and the other children safe?

I am not sure that they can with Mainstream how it is currently.

My oldest now has an understanding of what happens when a child is dysregulated in class from seeing first hand through their sibling but I imagine for children without that understanding it can be very upsetting.

Evacuating a classroom is not a everyday occurance. If it is then IMO school is failing everyone very badly.

Sadly, depending on the needs of the children in a particular class, it can be. The second part is a very sweeping statement. On the flip side, is it not evidence that the children and indeed the schools are being failed by the government if this is happening more and more? (which it is) The system is under immense pressure, with more and more severe SEN cases year upon year in mainstream settings who are not adequately funded to deal with such needs.

Of course, long term, these things can often be pre-empted once relationships have been built and triggers identified but sometimes there isn't a trigger. In the case outlined by OP, the child is quite new and therefore they're very much still learning how to deal with them. During this getting to know you phase (while a child is either new to the school or has transitioned to a new class/year group) it sadly can be a daily occurrence for a while, while everyone learns to spot the signs and learn the de-escalation techniques for that child (which won't always work, even when relationships are established).

I'm sorry to hear you've had a tough time with your own children. That can't have been easy. However, making sweeping statements about a school failing all the children if someone is going through a stage of throwing chairs daily is unreasonable and shows a complete lack of understanding for the other side of the coin. You are entitled to feel that particular school failed your child, but you can't make such sweeping statements about all schools. Not all schools 'do nothing'. Behind the scenes, most are doing far more than you'd ever realise to support all the children in their care when such incidents occur.

In DD3 late primary school years it was an everyday occorance...
The school was a good and outstanding school but they had an ADHD child in class - it took years to get him to a better setting.

It's not always that the school isn't meeting needs. SEND kids can also be naughty - crazy thought I know.

Plenty of SEND children I know not throwing chairs around when their needs aren't met - mine included. SEND children still need discipling and boundaries, in fact more so. The ones that truly can't help it are in special schools, not in mainstream (before anyone says that)

I would be beyond angry if my SEND child did this. I've taught him how to control himself when he's overwhelmed. A valuable life skill. Sick of reading it's never the child's fault and never the parents fault tbh. Every other child in that classroom has a right to a safe learning environment and the teacher has the right to not be assaulted at work. If your child is throwing chairs pull them out and homeschool them until you can get a grip of their behavior.

I have been the parent of the chair-thrower. SEN issue. School told me but as with all things I was left thinking 'and what am I meant to do about that? He KNOWS he's not meant to throw chairs!'

Meanwhile we were desperately trying to move him to a specialist school but these places are hens' teeth. Obviously we couldn't withdraw him unilaterally from school because of the law so we just had to keep him there until we got a special school placement (which, by the way, cost us the best part of 100 grand and we had to sell our house. Story for another day).

We had so little empathy from other parents who just saw our child as a problem they wanted rid of. We as a family were treated like lepers.

I'm just saying this because try and remember there's a child at the heart of all of this. The parents are probably well aware and desperately trying to find a solution.

Proof that you can be a SEND parent and still have no clue...

Not all SEND kids are the same. Some (like mine) are consistently taught boundaries and behaviour and have explosive meltdowns when they are dysregulated. If I could have taught it out to him, believe me I would have. And I would have before he injured people, smashed up my house and got banned from every public facility in the area. The idea that because you managed to teach your SEND child one way, others would be the same shows a massive lack of understanding and empathy.

Also, not sure if you aware of 'the law' but you can't just pull your child out of school and home ed them unilaterally. Even if you have the financial means to not need 'a job' to pay for 'food' and 'rent', you would get in trouble with those guys the local authority, and social services and the police. You can't just take a child out of school.

Trust me, as the parent of the chair-thrower, we were trying very very hard to have him moved. It took time because there are not enough special schools. And money. Lots and lots of money. £100k to be precise. £100k. To get my kid into a special school. Because they don't just offer the places to people.

Just bear this in mind and think how many people you know have that kind of money sloshing around.

Other families are vulnerable when their children come home crying because they are caught in all this.
Chairs, scissors, books are thrown around classrooms and unbelievably mean words are said.
Teachers resign all the time.
The ADHD child in my child's school had lovely parents who understood that the child's behavior had such an impact on the well-being of the other children.
There were children including my own who didn't dare go to school because of the daily turmoils. Then you are threatened with sanctions by the school and have no idea what to do because school talk things down.
So many parents find it difficult to show empathy because they are at least as exhausted by this inclusion shit. There are no winners.

No winners. But sorry, as the one who had to sell my house and lost my life savings as well as having a child who will never live independently I think I win the prize of losing worse.

I was a TA for 9 years. I have injuries from a child that I still receive physio for. I filed at least 50 injury forms mostly ignored by the HT and local authority. I had to evacuate classes daily because the child was throwing or grabbing. I was stabbed by cutlery, had scissors held to my neck and threatened with broken glass.

Ask the teacher what they are doing to keep your child safe and what protocols are in place to make sure your child is not missing out on their vital education by this disruption. Ask to be informed every time your child has been evacuated from class.

I have re-read my post but I don't see the word 'nothing" was done. He was in the wrong setting. That doesn't mean nothing was done. He beat the shit out my son. I told the HT that he was never to be near my son again or I would bypass school and go to the police the next time. The school did an alfwul lot. Possibly because they are independent SEN so unlike state or mainstream has therapists on staff. They met with me as soon as school opened. HT and head of safeguarding.

But he went on to beat someone unconscious and put them in hospital with a stay on a ward then PTSD and school refusal. How is that good for him long term? He was 16 then. Still not expelled. He needed proper MH therapeutic help and that isn't what the school was set up for ( mainly dyslexia school).

My dd has been suspended for 1) scratching a teacher 2) kicking a teacher and then the head 3) throwing books all over the classroom and kicking a glass door. I am a governor at a SEN school and I sit on exculsion panels. I have never sad no one is doing nothing. O have witneesed this first hand as a parent and as the person that deals with the end of the process.

I have heard of 18 year olds attacking female teachers 1/4 of their size. No body is doing nothing. I have wanted to cry for both the kids and staff. Everyone is suffering, doing their best. Doing nothing is normally the remit of my LA.

The only time on this thread I have said no one did anything was the event just before dd was suspended in my first post. 1) I wasn't even told 2) I did a SAR of her CPOMs. There was no entry for it. The senco told me it was nothing. Only the only other mum told me the classroom was evacuated. I was wondering why this trusted mum would lie to me? Until my neighbour confirmed it and said he had made multiple complaints before about my dd. That school also didn't inform me about. Until shit hit the fan and she was suspended. Maybe school did lots. But it didn't include using cpoms or talking to me.

Which personally I think made a joke of safeguarding up to that point. Once it was unavoidable I was informed.

Some might think it might have been in the best interests to inform me the wheels was coming off before she kicked the HT in the nuts. But that's not the school I'm governor of. None of my business maybe? I certainly can not tell how to do best practice or hold them to account. I could only watch in horror at the most distressing experiences of my life. As my dd went from fine to dangerous violent meltdowns seemly with no warning. There was warning. Just not shared with me. I didn't want her to get to her brothers classmates stage. Where someone is left bleeding on the floor so much that the person who found them thought they was dead. I do not want dd to get there. I do not want any child in my my school I am a governor of of to see that. So I'm one of the people doing something. Because everyone has some power. People who choose nothing are apathetic. Until that puch is breaking your nose or your kids.

Which is pretty much how we got the state of the SEN system..not my problem. Until that problem is in the classroom.

Schools are certainly not happy to be teaching that kind of behaviour. It’s almost impossible to get any extra funding to get extra staff to deal with these children nor professional help. It’s also almost impossible to remove them from the school. These incidents often totally ruin the day for everyone involved and mean staff getting dragged from other classes to help. We had five members of staff last week pulled from supporting other children because a particularly charming child took exception to the way the receptionist said ‘good morning’ to her.

Again, I'm sorry to hear you and your children have been through all that but you've completely missed my point. You stated 'Evacuating a classroom is not a everyday occurance. If it is then IMO school is failing everyone very badly.' I am explaining how a) it can be an everyday occurrence and b) that's a huge sweeping statement which is grossly unfair on many schools who deal with such incidents as best they can.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood that your children's school were actually doing something about it. I read it that you thought they were doing nothing but apologise that that was wrong. I haven't commented on the incidents your children experienced, only generally, so I'm not sure why you're giving even more background to back up your huge generalisations. You can't generalise based on one bad experience. That was my point. Again, I'm really sorry you all experienced that but going in to more and more detail about what happened isn't going to change my mind to believe that kids throwing chairs means the school is failing them. That's such a sweeping statement and not true at all. Why are we putting it on the school if kids throw chairs? It's how the school deals with it that matters. The fact it's happening isn't on the school at all.

There's more to safety than being taken physically out of harm's way when violence erupts.

Emotional safety and psychological safety are vital components of a child's wellbeing in the school setting.

Corporal punishment was once a feature of school life. It wasn't don't purely to punish offenders who broke rules. It was done 'pour encourages less autres' - to create a climate of fear in other words, and thus to encourage compliance with the rules. The atmosphere of emotional and psychological danger was as damaging to the students as the cane was to those being beaten.

I strongly recommend a friendly martial arts class for your sensitive boy. I sent my dd to a great little class age 8 when she started finding classroom violence worrying. She loved it - great for confidence and quite quickly her self-defence skills became excellent. She let it be known age 10 that she could make someone unconscious simply by pinching their neck in the right way, and she had very little bother after that.

Classroom evacuation was the norm at my DD’s primary school, parents were never informed about it unless there was an injury to their own child as the behaviour incidents concerns the kid having the meltdown. Classroom evacuation is the standard way to keep your child safe and your dc will become very used to it.

My dd became very good at dealing with two of the most difficult SEN boys in her class and developed an approach of blackmail and intimidation to keep them in line.

She was always stuck on their table to help - and yes I did monitor this and when she was at the point of insanity dealing with it every day (the non stop interruptions from constant chatter, poking, sexual comments, swearing, fighting, fidgeting, and other mischief) I would ask the teacher to give her relief and move her for a break but it never lasted.

By year 6 she was totally fed up of the disruption and what was by now often very deliberate disregulated behaviour. Of course when a child discovers a tantrum can get the whole boring class to totally stop and leave the room, unsurprisingly those disruptions don’t calm down, they escalate - not every outburst is caused by a child in distress; after a while some of them learn to enjoy the misbehaviour and the chaos and then they cause as much mischief as possible!

Interestingly my dd wants to be a teacher .
She told me when she was 11 she wants to go back to a primary school and find ways to make it better so kids don’t have to go through what she and her SEN friends did. She utterly hated her primary school - she describes the HT as “pathetic” and she has nothing but pity for her two favourite teachers who got so little help from the HT. She regularly heard her teacher arguing with the HT about how the problems should be handled.

Schools simply don’t have the resources they need and to be frank not all teachers are good at their jobs, just as in real life.