Which primary school would you choose?

[AsanteSanaSquashBanana]

I'm really torn between 2 schools for my DS due to start in September ...

School 1: The obvious choice, short walk away, good reputation, all his friends and neighbours will go there, 2 form entry, rated Good. Did the school tour and just felt a bit "meh", we weren't made to feel very welcome and nothing about it really drew me in. Very shabby building, a bit dark and gloomy, wasn't keen on the head teacher (but he looked about retirement age so not sure how he would be there).

School 2: Outstanding school 2 miles away (10 minute drive with no traffic). More affluent area, amazing results, great facilities, 3 form entry with 600+ students in the school, but it didn't feel overcrowded. I was absolutely blown away by the head teacher's presentation and school tour and came away thinking that was 100% our first choice.

However I've been thinking about it more and I don't know if moving him away from his friends and having to drive everyday is a good idea. Parking by school 2 is meant to be a nightmare.

We are lucky that we live in an area with a declining birthrate, so we are likely to be able to get into the school of our choosing (2nd option was always oversubscribed but has had a some places available the last few years, 1st option has quite a few empty spaces in each class).

Which would you go for?

I would choose school 1. You'll be making this journey twice a day for at least 7 years, longer if there are younger siblings.

Don't underestimate how beneficial it is to have a school your child can walk to.

School 1

A 10 minute drive with 'no traffic' easily becomes 20 minutes plus on the school run. When is there ever 'no traffic' on the school run?

I understand why you are drawn to the other school, but a short walk with friends he already knows are two huge pluses for the other school. Do you know anyone with children who go there? It's always good to gage opinions from parents currently at the school.

Schools can change so much in a short time. A new headteacher could bring renewed energy to the local school in a couple of years. The other headteacher could be head-hunted somewhere else. I wouldn't be too swayed by Ofsted. Gut feelings are important too though. You definitely have some things to think about.

School 2 without any hesitation whatsoever.

I was in a very similar position to you this year. Local catchment school was underwhelming. A local village school about 3 miles away was a completely different set up altogether. Hardly any catchment kids so full of very engaged parents who also made a proactive choice to attend. The difference between the 2 schools is night and day.

10 minutes drive each way is a small price to pay for an infinitely better education.

My DS didn’t know a single other child when he started. We’re now 3 weeks in and he already has a really nice group of new friends. They adapt very quickly at 4.

I know I’ve made the right decision for him.

I've been in this position and picked option 1.

The culture at the option 1 school wasn't right. It served my child poorly due to being a bit meh and complacent about behaviour, the environment wasn't enjoyable at all. They suffered significantly. Other parents were also a bit apathetic and didn't seem to expect or want better. Perfectly happy to keep sending their kids to school to be hit and have to tolerate all matter or things. There was a very "some children behave like this and we don't know why" ethos and non existent or too slow interventions to support.

Moved them to option 2 in year 2. Different child, so happy and benefiting from lots of aspirational extra curricular. Culture and leadership matter. The teachers at option 1 might be wonderful but it's the head that sets the tone and other parents.

I would go for the local school. We almost did what you did but didn’t get into the further away school and I am really pleased we didn’t.

It’s great to be able to walk to school, no parking stress etc. It’s also great to have local friends. My daughter is now 11 and it’s great that she has the freedom to go out and see her friends without me having to drive her. The ones who live even in the next village miss out a bit as it’s harder for them to go to the impromptu meet ups.

Do the drive, and find a parking space, exactly at school drop off and pick up time at school 2 and see how it actually is and whether that changes your mind. I wouldn't be concerned about a new friendship group at four for the right school.

Do you meet the admission criteria for both schools?

I would imagine that you certainly do for the first school, but you would need to check on the furthest distance offered last year, for the second. There’s nothing to stop you putting it as a preference and you could go on a waiting list if it’s over subscribed.

The idea about doing the journey at drop off and pick up, is a good one. A ten minute journey that becomes thirty minutes in traffic, becomes tedious very quickly.

Historical similar experience. Just finishing School 2. 8 minute drive. We drive past school 1 to get there.

I would do the drive at pick up and drop off.

There will be invested parents from your local area who will also drive to school 2. So they will have local friends. Also, they'll do clubs and stuff and meet kids that way too.

Forget pre school friends or people you know. Kids are so resilient with friendships and it's a long time to be at school. Friendship groups shift and change all the time.

The main thing for me is size. A bigger school means more chance to meet friends you have things in common with, sets them up better for the jump to secondary, more funding and therefore better resource, more chance of being able to offer lessons at an appropriate level for your child.

Our school is Ofsted outstanding and is very NAICE with invested parents. It's got academic failings at the top end because, I think, it's size (one form entry) makes it harder for there to be a higher proportion of outliers. It does it's best but could be better.

Mumsnet hates travelling for schools, I never really get the concern as someone who went to rural schools with huge catchments and private schools which again have pupils from a broad area.

I'd also ignore the friendship angle, we are 3 weeks into school with a slightly shy child who knew no one and she's flourishing and very happy with new friendships.

I'd not set your heart on it though, believe birth rate is slightly up this year and locally there are a lot more siblings. Plus as people learn they have more choice they might also expand their school search.

And definitely try the journey!

School 1 would be my choice.

If you do school 2 then you need to allow 20+ mins for play dates, the clubs with his school friends will all be a drive away and 10 mins without traffic is quickly a chore when there are further delays.

I'd say also after picking our option 1 school for the walk to schooland avoiding the car chaos at our version of option 2, it's actually not that bad at option 2. Not as bad as I'd imagined anyway and I'd pick it every time for the improvement my child has experienced. Walking was lovely, walking and dreading what the school day was like and pick ups and drop offs not so much.

On paper, I’d probably go for school 2. Even if school 1 have a new headteacher relatively soon, the school will still be dark and gloomy.
I would however, drive to school 2 at drop off/pick up time and see what the traffic situation is like.
Will you be time pressured with getting to/from work? If not, could you park a few roads down and walk the rest?

Personally I'd go with school 1- I think when it comes down to day to day learning most primary schools are much of the same. When he is older and able to walk to school etc it would be a lot better for his independence to be able to do that, and when older also meeting up with friends after school, more likely to have friends go on to the same secondary etc

How long is the walk to the school 1? With a 4 year old it is unlikely to take less than 10-15 minutes anyway and are you 100% sure you are not going to drive if it rains?

Try the drive at 8.30am on a horrible rainy winters day.

Mine attended several schools. One of them was a 7 minute drive if all the traffic lights were in our favour.
The worst day I set out at 8.15. I got home at 10.30. 30 minutes of the return journey was trying to leave the school car park. Then another 20 minutes getting off school road.
Roadworks just the town into hell in the mornings.

If the journey is fine in the mornings, you have back up plans for when you have no car, and you genuinely feel school 2 is better, then go for it.

School 2. No hesitation.

Better school for the child outweighs the travel.

Definitely try the journey at school drop off and pick up times, but if school 1 is undersubscribed anyway I might be inclined to make 2 your first preference. If you get into 2 and things don't work out it sounds like you'd probably be able to transfer to 1, whereas the reverse sounds like it might be less likely.

I had my DS at option 1 as couldn't get him into option 2. When it was DD's time to start school I got her into option 2 and it was 100% the best school for her. I moved DS and he went from middling to flying - a much happier and more successful lad.

Don't send your kid to a school that feels meh. He or she is worth more than that.

Being able to get to school 10 minutes quicker will not feel like much of a positive if you don't like the school and your child is miserable there. Listen to your gut - go with the school you like best and get the best feeling from, and can imagine being happy about your child spending most of their life for 7 years. Travel is important, but your child being happy and thriving in a positive environment is top priority.

I would also advocate for choosing a school by vibe. If it feels right, go for it. How does DC feel about each school (rather than you)?
Your child will do so much better if they feel comfortable at a school, ime
They have to be there for a long time in child years (eg by the time they leave, they've been there for half their life)
Play dates and so on will work themselves out, you're not the far away really

I would pick option 2 although it make more sense to do option 1.

So surprised at the amount of people who wouldn't drive for a better school! Option 2 with no hesitation. Don't settle for a mediocre school.

Scope out parking and plan a short walk.
I chose 1, and have now moved both my children.
Don't under estimate the difference an affluent area has on what the school can offer. An enthusiastic PTA with families who can spend lots at school events pays for an awful lot of extra curricular activities and playground equipment.

Firstly I’m puzzled at how a 2 mile journey can take 10 mins with no traffic but that’s an aside.
we were in this situation but our son we thought had some SEN needs that weren’t especially clear at that time. We picked the school further away as it was smaller and more nurturing. It was a 7.5mile drive (10mins as never any traffic) and the drive never remotely bothered me. I was concerned about moving away from preschool friends but in reality those friendships wouldn’t have stayed because they were very different children.
as it transpired neither school was right because of his needs but that’s a different situation.
I would absolutely have a few “practice” drives on a school morning if you can and see how you feel. Parking was manageable at my son’s school but busy so to be honest I was always just early. Dropped off early and got to pick up early and just chatted with school mums etc.