Which primary school would you choose?

[AsanteSanaSquashBanana]

I'm really torn between 2 schools for my DS due to start in September ...

School 1: The obvious choice, short walk away, good reputation, all his friends and neighbours will go there, 2 form entry, rated Good. Did the school tour and just felt a bit "meh", we weren't made to feel very welcome and nothing about it really drew me in. Very shabby building, a bit dark and gloomy, wasn't keen on the head teacher (but he looked about retirement age so not sure how he would be there).

School 2: Outstanding school 2 miles away (10 minute drive with no traffic). More affluent area, amazing results, great facilities, 3 form entry with 600+ students in the school, but it didn't feel overcrowded. I was absolutely blown away by the head teacher's presentation and school tour and came away thinking that was 100% our first choice.

However I've been thinking about it more and I don't know if moving him away from his friends and having to drive everyday is a good idea. Parking by school 2 is meant to be a nightmare.

We are lucky that we live in an area with a declining birthrate, so we are likely to be able to get into the school of our choosing (2nd option was always oversubscribed but has had a some places available the last few years, 1st option has quite a few empty spaces in each class).

Which would you go for?

I would pick school 1 , in our area the best school is the one a lot of undesirables go to but it is strict has great achievements and it’s close by he can walk to school.

My daughters school was 1/2 hour drive (rural area with v unreliable school bus) - I did it for 7 years. Secondary transport was way better so I didn’t have to drive her

id go with the school you got a better vibe from, ie school 2

I've recently moved my 5 year old to the closer school which all the neighbours go to. His other school was great but was a 20 min walk away, and it turned out that all the other families lived 15ish mins in the other direction from the school so really far away from us. Fine when they're little and you take them everywhere but I thought about what would happen once he started walking in on his own, wanting to go to friends house etc and I think there's something so valuable about having your school friends on the same road as you. Also I realised too late that secondary school catchment meant that none of the kids from the original school would get into our local secondary where he'll go. Whereas the new school 95% of the children go to the same secondary. All things I wish I'd considered more when we chose his school originally! Luckily he's settled really well and knew lots of his new classmates from being neighbours.

School 1!! I’ve been a teacher and worked in the run-down, shabby looking school plus the large, flashy one. A school’s appearance really doesn’t tell you much about the quality of education and the culture within the school. In my experience, outstanding schools are under a lot of pressure to maintain that rating, and that pressure feeds down through the staff to the children. Those headteachers are good at ticking boxes and keeping up appearances but are often quite uncaring when it comes to the children.

I taught in a small school that was very run down, it looked old fashioned and there was nothing flash about it, but the children were taught kindness and there was virtually no bullying. The teachers had time to plan fun, enriching learning activities and the kids loved coming to school.

Conversely I taught in a big flashy school that looked very impressive from the outside - well-maintained, new, lots of resources and the children all wearing smart uniforms. It was DIRE. The headteacher was a psychopath who bullied her staff. She cared more about presentation and appearances than the children, so we spent all our efforts on handwriting and making children redo “messy” work, which made everyone miserable. There was no time for fun and the poor children were just vehicles to make her look good.

My advice would be to speak to families that attend both schools and hear their experiences. Appearances really mean nothing and Ofsted inspections have their flaws too

Also to add, 10 mins drive can easily turn into 30 mins with school run traffic, which would be horrible.

Very tricky! My eldest has just started reception and I don’t think anyone has agonised over school choices more than me. 😂 I think I would go for school 1.

We went for the closest school, though there’s not much in it. It was Ofsted outstanding. The head blew us away at the open day. Aspirational area, nice parents.

In between getting the place and starting reception, the school got a diabolical Ofsted and the head has left. So things can change rapidly. And don’t be sucked in by the optics. I researched every last thing about all the school choices but I would never have predicted what happened!

I slightly regret not choosing the school with a friendlier but scruffier vibe, given that it’s only 5 minutes further to walk. However, my child is settling in well and loves bumping into his classmates on the way to school - it’s such a nice way to start and end the day. Fingers crossed the new head will have things sorted soon.

Edited for spelling error.

School 2

School 2. The positives outweigh the (minor) negative of a slightly longer journey. In particular having a good headteacher, which I think makes or breaks a school.

I think you need to actually speak to people at both schools to find out exactly what their opinions are. A fantastic speaker delivering a great welcome speech tells you nothing about the actual experience of being at the school and the level of education. Appearances can be deceiving.
As someone who can easily walk to school, I would hate to have to drive every day so perhaps I’m bias but I would always go for a walking option. However I would agree that you need to do the journey in school hours to see how long it actually takes and what the parking situation is.
Friendship groups at this age don’t matter, he will easily settle in and find children he gets on well with. You have to trust your gut sometimes with these things.

Tricky. Could dc walk to school feasibly at age 10?

I wouldn’t compromise on your child’s Education

I wouldn't be using the friends that he has now as a criteria. He's 4. Friends change so often at that age.
I would go for the better school. 10-20 mins is not a long commute. Is it on your way to work? Tbh it is worth it for a better school experience.

I had this exact issue but with the added complication that my DC had been at school 1 for 3 years.

I moved my DC from a school 260 yards from my front door, from their friends, no issues to park, Outstanding ofsted rating, on paper it's a fantastic school.

Now I drive 40 minutes round trip twice a day, to a school with horrific parking, rated Good rather than Outstanding, smaller outdoor space, country roads with no public transportation as an option costing a lot in fuel.

And I have zero regrets because my DC is now thriving, no longer gets peeled off me at the school gates, school work has improved, socially blooming and the school has an air of comfortable buzz when you go inside.. The PTA is hugely invested in giving the kids different experiences, they mix with other local schools for fun activities regularly, the teachers really will bend over backwards to support the children there.

There are downsides like they won't get to walk home from school but I've found different ways to teach that independence. Got round the parking in the younger years by arriving early and now park further away so they can walk out to me.

Don’t dismiss your concerns about parking near the school- we live walking distance and I’m always so glad I don’t have to drive there because parking really is a nightmare. Maybe think about whether there is anywhere convenient to park a few minutes walk away rather than right by school?
Also how likely is it that you could move house closer to school 2 if he did get a place? Not right away but he will be there 7 years so that is a long time.
Being with friends is important but (assuming you’re talking about primary school) they are so young they will make friends easily and there will be other kids who don’t know anyone there too.

Mine does. No traffic to me doesn’t mean no cars at all, just no undue hold ups. My journey is effectively one road, but there are roundabouts, traffic lights and frequent roadworks. Plus you have to allow time to find somewhere to park and then walk to school as it’s a busy residential area with primarily resident only parking in the streets surrounding the school.

It depends ultimately - We were in a similar position and chose option 1 and are glad every day that we did. The school that was 'outstanding' as it turns out had lots of terrible issues (i think a PP said about high staff turnover due to bullying nature, no real care for the children only care for results etc - it was the same story if not worse at our 'option 2'). I would personally take ofsted with a pinch of salt, as someone who worked in education for 10 years, and look more at SAT results and also ask on local Facebook pages for feedback.

For my kids, being able to walk to school is worth everything. It's a good bit of exercise before school and after school to help them wind down, and all of her friends live within a 5 minute radius too, so sharing lifts for parties etc is easier.

Also, as a former school worker, I found driving at school pick ups/drop offs to be unbelievably dangerous!!

I wouldn't really pay attention to what school his friends are going to though, and wouldn't put that as either a pro or a con for the schools.

But the OP’s really just been blown away by some decor and a head who can give a good speech. That’s not important. Who well someone can present themselves when selling the school has nothing to do with how the individual teachers teach and care for the children. The children have no interest in which head does a better presentation.

Also, as PP have said, look at PTAs etc and what events/extracurricular things are on. This is a sign of a good school as it shows parents are invested in their children's education.

Bare in mind if you have other kids too about extracurricular clubs as you might be doing the journey twice or having to hang around after school for an hour with a younger child etc.

School 2. We did this in a similar choice situation and have never regretted it 7 years later (though we did move after 3 years to be closer, but there were lots of reasons why we wanted to do that anyway). Go with your heart.

What are the roads like? Are you bike riders? A 2 mile cycle is a really nice start to the day.

(We had a 1.5 mile one to get my kids to their catchment school.)

If you are planning to stay where you live longer term, I would also factor in the secondary school options and whether if you pick option 2, you are likely to get a place at the same school as those living closer. Unless of course both schools feed into the same secondary.

I would choose school 2 the drive for a happier environment he will make new friends. I was in a similar position and chose the closest school it was a train wreck and I had to move. Mine ended up in different schools until a place was opened for the younger one I’m still paying the price in catch up tuitions kids only learn well when there happy you need to like the school and feel it’s the best option for your kids.

We had this exact choice and went for school 2. No regrets and actually it’s worked out perfectly as well we still do things like beavers in our village (I offered him the choice) and it means he has a whole group of village friends and a diff group of school friends, so when they go to secondary he’ll know so many people. People locally did judge us for not choosing the local school but having heard some tales from parents with kids there I have never regretted my choice. Our school run is technically an 8 min drive but ultimately with parking, walking round and dropping off and getting home it’s about 40 mins round trip. But to me that’s a small price to pay for a better education. If I had the money I’d be sending them to a private school 45 mins away for secondary! But we will prob end up being able to walk to secondary so it will pay back then!

Thanks for everyone's input. Lots to think about. To answer a few questions ...

• School 1 is a 15 minute walk for me (25 minutes with the addition of little legs)

• DS's preference is school 1 because his friends are going there.

• I tried the journey to school 2 this morning - it took 8 minutes!!! And lots of spaces to park (albeit, it was a sunny morning, a Friday if that makes any difference, and I got there 15 minutes before the start of the school day)

I'd say look at the bigger picture. At that age, of course he wants to choose whatever and wherever his friends are - for better or worse. But in time that will become less important as they do make new friends so young. Harder having to move schools further down the line when they're older, if things don't work out and the school turns out to be a bad choice. I guess it depends a lot as well on your own child's personality, if they are outgoing and make friends easily, or if the social side is maybe where they struggle more in which case you'd have to weigh up the pros and cons of taking them away from an established group of friends.